It is interesting how Lily's little personality has come out to shine within the past few days. I always knew she was a funny little kid with a wicked sense of humor but it has become so apparent the past few days. Her vocabulary has also grown by leaps and bounds the past couple of days.
I've been trying to put my finger on it, and all I can figure is Hannah was so bright and shining Lily was content to let her lead the way and do most of her talking for her. Lily still asks for Hannah (it's only been a week after all), but she seems to be doing much better.
One of Lil's new loves and passions is "bloons". We had a balloon bouquet for Hannah and brought them home and Lily has just loved playing with them. She will grab the balloon, squeeze and launch it to move it around the living room (or kitchen, or play room). The "bloons" become a problem when Ella is around because, well, she loves "bloonies" too! Lily is fine to share her cup or her food, but not her toys, and "bloons" are definitely in that category.
Ella came over yesterday and Lily immediately began hoarding all the balloons, screaming if it looked as if Ella was going to even come near her. Oh, and the snatching! Good grief!
(I can hear Lily and Lissie playing downstairs even as I type, Lily laughing and laughing and Lissie dancing her around. It's a beautiful sound. :o) )
But, back to Ella and Lily. The two of them fight like cats and dogs, and I would be hard pressed to determine who instigates more, although, my money is on Lily. She was having dinner the other evening, sitting in her booster, all buckled in and chowing down when Ella appeared, pushing Lil's baby doll stroller. Lily went ballistic! She began screaming and tantruming right there in her seat, throwing food and desperately trying to get out of her seat so she could snatch the stroller away. The child is going to be the death of us!
She has a very wicked temper and can go from placid to enraged in 0.00000001 seconds! Whew! Generally, we just step over or around her and move on. We try not to laugh because we really aren't trying to encourage more of them. ;o)
These last two pictures are of Ella and Lily having it out. Ella had this gorgeous new hat that Lily determined she NEEDED! She snatched (hm, I seem to be using that word a LOT here...) it off Ella's head and needless to say, Ella was NOT happy with that. Ella began screaming and squealing for her parents to get it back, while Lily was squealing and screaming at the top of her lungs to get her parents to intervene and give her the hat. All any of us could do at that point was laugh and take pictures. :oP
*******************************************************
Pop, Brien, Joe and Bob put up a fence around Hannah's pond yesterday. I need to get a picture to post. It is a beautiful white picket fence that would have made Hannah VERY grumpy because she wouldn't be able to get into the pond to get into the water. *grin* But, this fence protects Lily from herself and the frogs from Holly the frog slayer. I think it was therapeutic for the men to get out and build yesterday and I'm so pleased with the results.
Brien and Joe went to get Hannah from the funeral home last night. Another milestone crossed. When they walked back into the house, there was the little green tree frog, once again peeking in the sidelight watching us all.
We are headed to Blacksburg this afternoon to hike up to the Cascades tomorrow to send Hannah over the waterfall which I KNOW she would love. When I woke this morning, "Candle in the Wind" was going through my head and I knew I had to watch Hannah's slide show. I watched and cried. I also laughed and rejoiced my Monkey was such a funny little kid and so well loved. I miss her like I never thought it was possible to miss someone and I know this trip to Blacksburg will not be easy as we had such a good time while we were last there. It will be yet another milestone to move beyond.
I look forward to surrounding myself with the peace, beauty and tranquility of the mountains Brien and I and through us, Hannah, loved.
I'll be back Saturday evening, so until then, thank you all for your continued thoughts and prayers. Maybe we'll see a frog along the way. :o)
57 comments:
That Lily is a hoot. You will have your hands pleasantly full with her, Rach. She has the best cheesiest grin that I have ever seen though, so she has convinced me already that she is a perfect angel! :) I hope that your trip to Blacksburg is wonderful we will "see" you when you return. Enjoy those beautiful Cascades! Hugs and prayers,
Ruhiyyih
You are so very strong! Your courage has inspired so many all around the world, as has your love for your wonderful babies.
But please remember that you are entitled to crumble and crash, if and when you need it. And we will be here to share your grief as we are sharing your love and strength.
Many blessings and frogs and lilies for you, Brien and Lily!
Is Lily a Gemini by any chance? I have one daughter (a Gemini) that can go from happy, happy to mad, mad in no time. I could see it in her personality from day one.
Have a good and safe trip.
I couldn't agree more with Azteclady. We will all be here for you!! I could watch the slideshow 100 times and I'm still going to cry each time. My son is the same way about hats. Too funny! Have a safe trip!
Hi Rach-
Lily and Ella are so cute together...if they are anything like my sis and I the fighting indicates a very close and tight relationship years to come. I have been thinking of you and just praying everyday that you are surrounded by peace and love. You are an amazing woman..an amazing mother of two beautiful girls.
maddie(bbc)
Rach-
Have a safe trip. We'll be thinking of you.
I have a 2 year old son that is just like that, he'll be happy one moment and the next, I dont know what happens, he freaks out over whatever. He is obsessed with his trains, if anyone takes them he'll stomp and throw himself on the floor.
Your family is still in my thoughts and prayers!!
I just found you through someone else's blog. I want you to know that reading about your daughter has truly effected me. She sounds wonderful and I'm going to make an effort to make each day a little sparklier in honor of her!
Blessings for safe travel and strength and fortitude to get through the next couple of days, Rach.
I love that Lily is such a handful. She sounds like a glorious little imp.
I'll be thinking of you often during the next few days!
Hang in there Rach, Hannah is surrounding you in every way she can. Lily is so cute, and protective. Have a safe trip
Rach, I don't think you could have picked a better place for Hannah than the Cascades. It's so beautiful up there. I'll be thinking of you, and I know Hannah's spirit will be carrying you and Brien up the path.
Hugs, Mon
I will be thinking of you this weekend.
Lily is a little spitfire, isn't she? :P Girls, they sure can argue!
It is amazing how quickly the littlest ones adjust, isn't it? How they just kind of accept, and move on. Granted, we've only lost beloved pets, but my youngest talks about them, not with sadness, but with joy, because she knows one day they'll all be back together again.
Have a safe, memorable, peaceful trip. I just know Hannah will be delighted with your choice to set her free over the waterfall.
One step at a time, Rach. That's how you deal with life's challenges. And it looks like that's exactly what your're doing. Thanks for continuing to blog. I was afraid you might clam up and keep it all bottled inside. Letting the feelings and emotions out is a great way to handle things and it lets us all see that you're moving through the grieving process. And I feel like we're helping you shoulder the grief just a little bit.
I love the slide show. I was okay til "You Are My Sunshine" started. That's whay my DH sang to the boys when they were little, and now he sings it to our granddaughter. The thing about sunshine is that even though there maybe clouds, the sun's still there. So Hannah will continue to be a bright light in the universe.
As for Lily's "snatching" -- I read somewhere that you can't share something until you own it. So maybe she's learning about ownership now and the sharing will come when the lesson's learned. At least that's what I always pretended when my boys were screaming "MINE! MINE! MINE!" :grin:
Marilyn
there are a lot of Jens here! I have to say that it's a good thing we didn't add Ryan to that mix with Lily and Ella! Boy what a match they would have all made, and I am not sure who would have been the winner :O) (Ryan also goes from happy to pissed at an incredible rate)
Best wishes for your journey, I will be thinking of you (as always) Take care - remember I am here for you if you need anything
Just found your blog--I am terribly sorry for your loss. I think sending Hannah over the waterfall is a beautiful idea. It's sparkly, cascading, and full of life!
love and prayers to you and to your family.
I am glad that Lily is doing better... and I will pray that your trip to the waterfall goes smoothly... you are so strong Rachael... I don't know how you do it. I continue to pray for you and your family and for Hannah of course... my thoughts go to her often. hugs to you.
Someone posted your story and a link to your blog on a moms message board that I'm on. I am so very sorry for your loss - your Hannah sounds like an amazing, sparkly girl so full of life. I have a Hannah as well and reading your posts makes me tear up and want to hug her and never let her go. May God bless you and your family as you get through this weekend and send your beautiful Hannah over the waterfall.
Lily and Ella make me smile. Nice to see the *love* (that's what I call Love, cause that's what my girls do) between them.
I find myself drawn to Hannah's slide slow daily, and as I sit with tears falling like crazy, I also sit with the biggest smile on my face. Watching her and her LOVE for life, somehow makes me happy in that moment.
Thank you.
Lily is down right hillarious my youngest twin is like that too. I think the water fall is a perfect plan keep your head up mommy you are doing what she would want you to do. One step at a time. The frog thing is great. It is like she sends them to you just to remind you she is there. I sit here and cry for you remembering the first few months of having to wake up every morning but i had a little one to and she began to shine even more then she already did after he passed they know I think. Well have fun with the silly lily. I hope yo do not mind me coming to your blog and reading.
Rachel, although we have never met I felt the need to share your unbelievable story and your beautiful girls with other moms. After all, motherhood is what we share as a common thread. So, just to give you a heads up, I shared your story on my mom message board. I did this in hopes of getting lots of prayers sent your way. I know how well they work. I cant get you guys off my mind today. I pray for peace and strength for you guys...especially over these next few days and weeks.
Sending love and prayers and much sympathy,
Midwest Mom and Journaler at TLOL web site
I will be going to Blacksburg in two weekends with my best friend, i will be sure to stop and say hi to Hannah...
I just want you to know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers here in Massachusetts. You are an amazing and strong woman.
You have picked an incredibly beautiful, and personal, spot to release Hannah. Now I know why I picked that waterfall image as my screen-saver. Take care, breathe deeply the fragrance of the angels there.
Lily is such a doll! She sounds like she's so much fun, exhausting and energizing all at the same time!
I will be thinking of you all as you make your journey to Blacksburg. It sounds like it is a beautiful place and a place Hannah loved. You all continue to be in our prayers.
Have a safe journey! I can't wait to share the cascades with Jemma and James and tell them of a special friend named Hannah who loved them too.
Hugs to you and your family and we'll see you soon! Please call (or email) if you need ANYTHING!!! :)
Love,
Jen
Rach-
Your strength amazes me. I love that you guys are going hiking and Hannah will rest in such a beautiful place. You have truly honored and celebrated Hannah's life through this process.
Lily sounds like she is just a joy. Her personality reminds me of my 17 month old daughter and wow, she is not short on personality.
I just wanted you to know that I'm still thinking of you and your family often. I also can't look at my daughter in her mardi gras beads and her collection of hats without thinking of your precious angel. Jana wore an outfit the other day with sparkly silver stripes and I thought to myself, "those are Fancy Hannah stripes."
Thanks again for sharing your angel with us. She and you have truly affected me!
Many prayers sent up for you,
Lindsay
(Internet friend of Jess)
Hi I am so sorry to hear about your loss- I was on your blog the porch light about a month ago or more (linked from the thrifty mommy) and I thought I would stop by again. So many changes can happen in a month- I know, I lost my father on May 26th. He was only 56 years old, and no it's not the same... my life goes on and I am surrounded by all my precious children. For that and each day I am really thankful. My prayers to you and your family. I can be located on the internet here Smart not Cheap and here One of a Kind Wisconsin From one Christian internet friend to another- Michelle
I have vistied your blog often but have never commented before. I have always enjoyed you and your children and am so sorry to hear of your loss. I can't even begin to image what you are going through.
I have been praying for you and your family daily since i first read about his 4 days ago. There is something about your sweet Hannah that has captured my heart and I cannot get her out of my head. She reminds me so much of my own children and has made me realize how fragile life is and to spend every moment you can enjoying it and living it to the fulliest. It has also reminded me to hug my children more and tell them every hour how much I love them.
Lily is so beautiful and i hope she is adjusting well.
I will pray for your weekend ahead of you, for strengh to get through it and for peace afterwards.
*God Bless*
Lily and my Joshua would have a great time battling it out over toys. I swear he has eagle eyes. He can detect sometone touching one of his toys from a mile away!
Thinking of you all very much!
Rach,
I am still praying for you. I check your blog everyday. That little Fancy Hannah sure inspired me. I can't wait to hear about your trip to Blacksburg. What a wonderful tribute to such a remarkable little lady!!! I am also looking forward to more stories about Miss Lily. You are such an inspiration to me, Rach.
Love,
Kristi(gavoweymom@july05)
hey girl! It was such a TREAT to get away rom all the packing and come and read about Lily and Hannah. All I could do was giggle at the hat incedent...she is such a treat! :)
As for Ms Hannah....I think it is awesome that you are letting her go over a waterfall. How cool is that? She would have LOVED it, adn you can bet she will be looking down squeeling in delight!
You have such strength in you, and I cant help but admire what loving strong parents you and Brein are.
:):) **smiles**
Well, better get back to packing and trying to find that darn cord...grrrrrrr.
Take care!~
I can't wait to see the pond pictures.
I'll be praying for you this weekend as you take Hanna to the Cascades.
I hope you don't mind I put the wonderful picture of Hanna on my side bar, like the one you have and put in Memory of Hanna Praying for Hanna's Family. I have not been able to stop thinking about you and your family. I pray for you often.
I can't imagine what you're going through. Please know that I will pray for you and keep you and your beautiful family in my life. Much love to you.
Marybeth
I love Lily updates! What a little cheese! And I love that you guys took pictures of her and Ella in a spat, too funny. The strong wills collide! Take care of yourself and have a good trip to Blacksburg. You're doing good. (okay I know that was grammatically incorrect) sorry, I'm a freak!
You amaze me! Your strength is so uplifting. I still pray for you daily (several times per day in fact!)
Now Miss Lily: what a girl! Adam is very fond of 'bloons' right now too and he won't share either - must be their age, little monkies!
And Hannah - sending her over the waterfall is so beautiful. I hope your trip does surround you with peace. Be still and take in the moment. I'll be waiting for your next post and thinking of you often!
I am new to your blog...only a few days now but I am so glad that you are sharing Hannah with us out here. What a joy she was and is. And your strength..well, it is very inspiring. I pray you have a very peaceful trip and that releasing Hannah over the waterfall is a serene experience for you. I admire your strength and courage.
Thinking about you all the time, though we've never met. Take care of that adorable Lilly! And its funny you took pics of her fighting. I take pics of my son for my blog before I do anything else. Its terrible!
Take care.
Hi Rach! It is so nice to see pics of Lily and her "bloons". She is soooooo cute! Sometimes it's so hard not to laugh when kids are getting into trouble because sometimes it is just so funny!
I watched the beautiful slide show of Hannah. What a precious little girl! I will be watching it more than once!
I am still praying for you and I hope you getting rest. You mentioned in your last post how it has been difficult for you to eat sometimes. When my best friend's husband died last year I was with her every single day. We never felt like eating even when we were hungry because the sadness was just so strong. One morning on my way to her house I stopped by the store and bought some of those bottled yogurt smoothies. Even though we didn't want to eat we were able to have one of those and it was so much easier to drink one of those than to try and eat solid food. So maybe you can try those when it is just too hard to eat. If I was close by I would buy you a whole bunch and run them over to you!
I will be praying for you as you are on this trip to the mountains. I pray the Lord will give you comfort and peace while you are out in His beautiful creation that Hannah enjoyed so much!
All my love and prayers,
Annie
May you have strength and peace at the Cascades.
When my father passed 2 years ago my mom also saw little frogs appear in his fish pond. She found such a connention with the frogs and always thought it was a sign from him.
Hi Rach- I am so glad to see that sense of humor I have come to enjoy shining thru, even a little. That will help so much in the days and weeks to come.
Silly Lily- I like that, whoever said it earlier.
I will think of you this weekend, enjoying the peace of the Cascades. While we are with 50 thousand plus at Cooperstown for Hall of Fame weekend. What we don't do for our kids.
As for the temper tantrums. Daughter is 22 and can still go off quicker than Nitro.
{{hugs and love}}
ev
Have a safe trip - sounds like Hannah will have a beautiful resting place - and you will have a wonderful place to come to remember her. Lily sounds like a firecracker. Need to get her and my 2 year old Gabriel together to fight over "bloons." I think she'd have some tough competition :)
Just to let you know, I also posted your story on my mom's of boys message board and my blog, so i know that there are a whole lot of boy mom's praying for you and your family too.
I also want you to know that even though we all think that you are being incredibly strong and brave, that it is okay for you to melt and let it all out, if that time comes for you. None of us are you or are in your shoes and so no one is going to judge you on what you do or don't do. None of us, even if we have lost a child can say what we would or wouldn't do in your circumstances because none of us ARE IN YOUR circumstances.
There is no right or wrong way to handle something like what you and your family are dealing with. You just do the best you can and that is all that anyone can expect from you.
God bless you and Brien and Lily, you have so many people praying for you, I doubt you can even grasp how far this has reached. So if you do "lose it" there are so many of us to pray for you until you "get it back together".
dear rach,
i only came across your blog a few days ago, and you and your family have been in my heart and prayers since.
your strength and faith has so deeply moved me. know that your family and your beloved hannah are encircled and flooded with light and love and prayers from all corners of the world.
Hi Rachael,
I miss those mountains so much! The Bible talks about the mountains and getting our strength. I know you and Brien will get strenght from this trip.
Thanks for the Lily pictures. I have had her on my heart so much this last week. Wihout knowing you at that age I think Lily has a lot of her mom in her. I can imagine that you were a spitfire also.
I went by the children's isle at Walgrens last night and hanging there was a beautiful purple feather boa. I reached out and touch it. Normally I would have just walked right on by it. Thanks Hannah for making me stop and touch.
Love you all! NINI
I was directed from Jane's blog to Scott's blog where he had posted a link to yours...
peace, beauty, and tranquility...
I wish that you and your family will have all of these things when you need them...
I can only imagine how bad it must feel to experience the loss of your daughter...I wish that you did not have to hurt. I feel also the enormous love you have for her. And oh how she has touched others.
(I too am touched by Hannah tonight and am grateful..such beauty in your pictures of her)
..and oh how she has and always will be a part of you and your family.
I'm so sorry. May you have a measure of peace and feel love during such a difficult time.
I think we may need to throw your Lily in with my Junior Mayhem and see who comes out on top! (hee-hee) My money is on Lily as JM is kind of a ninny! :)
Your strength and optimism are both amazing and inspiring to me! Just reading of your amazing tribute to your daughter has touched my heart.
I will pray that you continue to find peace in knowing Hannah is in a better place.
Thinking about you. You are amazing to me. I hope you find some peace this weekend.
I have been reading your blog daily since i heard your sad news. I am on a mums board with Jess.
I have no words to describe how i feel for you and your family.
You and Hannah have touched me and even though you do not know me or my family here in the UK we pray for you all and have been keeping and will continue to keep you close to our hearts.
I stopped by the other day and came back today to check in on you. Your strength amazes me! Have a safe trip and please know that my prayers go with you.
Thinking of you and praying for strength and lots of love.
HaHa...Lily sounds just like my son. They would get along great. You know with the 'snatching' and all :)
I loved this post. You're sooo funny! I'm so glad to see the parents just sit back, laughing and taking pictures. I LOVE that. Usually a mom will freak out if their kid has something taken from them, etc...GREAT POST :)
May God bless you and your family.
Prayers from Australia to you. I have been sitting here reading your blog and bawling my eyes out. You are living my biggest fear and doing it with such strength and courage. I know Hannah's light and love will continue to shine through you and your beautiful family forever. God bless all of you.
Hi Rachel,
Your courage and strength are truly amazing. I imagine it must be hard to continue on but you manage not only to do that but to celebrate your beautiful little girl Hannah and share her with the rest of us.
Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers!
I hope your trip to Blacksburg is a journey of peace and love. I know your Hannah is giving you strength. I'm so glad you have such a great family to support and be there for you! God Bless!
Jill Russell
Plano, TX
I was just sitting here thinking about you and your sweet family. I hope your weekend goes well and you're able to find some peace.
Lily is adorable. It's wonderful that God is sending little miracles - like Lily's enhanced vocabulary, all of the frogs, so you have some truly positive things to help lift your spirits.
As another blogger mentioned, please make sure you don't feel the need to put on a brae front here. You are so inspiring and so strong, but if you need a helping hand or a "virtual" shoulder to cry on, please let us know.
Thank you for posting and letting us know how you and yor family are doing.
Can't stop here without tears - that is for sure! I am so glad that Lily is being Lily - that must help so much to have her. It must force you to laugh even though your heart is broken.
I am still thinking of you so very often and praying for you all. I told my son Jackson about Hannah and he talks about her every night.
{{{HUGS}}}
Oh - I posted some thoughts about Hannah at our blog Faith Lifts. Just in case you want to read it the URL for Faith Lifts is:
http://www.5minutesformom.com/faithlifts/
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