I wish I hadn't posted about the comment upsetting me so much. I wish I had just let it go but I couldn't. This in turn seemed to stir up discussion and potential confrontations which in turn made me physically ill. I don't like confrontations or conflict of any kind and I wasn't trying to invite it into my blog, yet, somehow I did.
I have never gotten nervous coming to my blog. It has always been my place to sit and reflect and figure out how I'm doing. I keep it for me, to monitor how I'm doing, how my path through grief is progressing. But, this morning and evening I got butterflies of dread and I didn't like it. So, in true Rachael fashion, I'm not going to let it beat me, I'm not going to let it get to me. I'm going to continue coming here, continue writing my heart out and if you don't like what I write, you can scram. Additionally, I decided I needed to protect myself from such comments. I had initially determined I was going to disable the comments, but then came up with a better solution: moderated comments which are sent to Brien to screen for me. :o)
As the title suggests, it has been an "it's funny" kind of day. The day started out so very poorly and I felt so awful I didn't know how I was going to manage to get through today. At the advice of someone from our CF group, I breathed deeply, I drank water and I prayed--hard. I was still upset as I dropped Lily at daycare and made my way to school. I was anxious as I made my way into the building. And then, something wonderful happened. I got into my classroom, I saw so many smiling, loving, caring faces all around me and I began to feel better. There is such positive energy in that building it surrounds you when you walk in. I was enveloped in hugs and positive thoughts and I immediately began to feel better.
Before I had been in the building 30 minutes I was feeling up-beat and positive again. I am truly where I am meant to be. This school is where I am supposed to be and these people are my angels. I'm so grateful I'm in a place where everyone cares so very deeply for each other. Every night I say a prayer of thanks. I thank God for the almost six years I got to bask in the joy that is Hannah, for my family and Brien and Lily, for me being brave enough to embrace this change in my life--including the new school. Yes, fifth grade continues to make me nervous, but I'm so happy to be there! :o)
To add to my enjoyment of the day, I got to come home for lunch with Brien and Lily, and then, Nana and Pop came to visit me at school. In fact, I sucked Nana and Pop into assisting me with bulletin boards and moving books. To add to the fun, Nana and I visited School Crossing, a teacher supply/awesome toys store. Nana seemed so stoked to have an opportunity to select bordette and other fun decorative classroom items she was fun to be with. :o)
*********************************************
Today's Saprklies:
1. My fancy, dangly earrings that are Hannah approved.
2. I'm still stoked with my JQ novels--what an amazing person she is!
3. Lil's new shoes. They are pink and sparkly and HUGE on her tiny feet. :oP I'll have to post pictures tomorrow. I just hope Lil grows up to like sparklies because I have a feeling they are going to be thrust upon her for quite some time.
4. I left my laptop at work. Yes, this is a sparkly because it will FORCE me to reduce the amount of time I spend on the computer, thereby enjoying living LIFE a little more. :o)
5. My coworker's baby. Oh, what a doll! She has the most amazing curly hair (think Erin) and she "winkers" with both eyes when she meets someone new. Some babies wave, she winks. :oP
6. My cowkers. Period.
7. I got my class list today and was told the kids are the BEST. Everyone who got a peek at my list just RAVED about the kiddos they saw. Yay!! :o)
8. Lunch with B and Lil.
9. Moving through anxiety to feeling at peace and happy. What a great feeling!
Today's Milestones:
1. Stride Rite Outlet shoe shopping for Lily and not for Hannah. I began purchasing clothing for the Monkey the moment I found out she was a girl. I have been purchasing items for her for six years and it's a tough habit to break. To the person who posted the C.S. Lewis quote, that perfectly stated what is happening in my life. I found myself looking at all the shoes Han would absolutely ADORE and got maudlin knowing she will never have an opportunity to wear any of them, and then, I changed my perspective. I began to intentionally look for Fancy Hannah shoes and enjoyed them. I was grateful I had had Hannah to teach me to look for the fun and ridiculous in life. :o) Please don't think this means I don't miss her, because OH BOY I do.
2. Our first Friday Night Dinner out with just us and Nana and Pop and no Hannah. It was so sad at first and then, Lily came to the rescue, providing comic relief and allowing us to laugh at Hannah memories. No, it's not fair, and I will continue to do it, as I always have, I compare the two girls. Hannah as a doll in restaurants and Lil, well, she's um, busy. We were watching Lily "acolor" on her kids' menu, marveling that she holds her writing implements in a tripod grip when suddenly, I remembered one of my favorite Hannah stories. Hannah was very verbal (as I'm sure you have figured out) and had some mighty excellent fine motor skills from a young age. Han was about two or two and a half and we were out to dinner with Nana and Pop. Han didn't like the kids' menus to color on and would instead use a napkin as her canvas. She began to draw a person, including the head, a body, and arms and legs. We were all beginning to marvel as she added a face and fingers and toes. Suddenly, there were more than ten toes and they were slowly creeping up the figure's legs. When questioned about her drawing, Hannah responded, "I'm drawing Daddy and that's the hair on his legs!" Oh, how we laughed and laughed over that one! :oP
Take heart everyone, I'm doing so well this evening and hope tomorrow goes as well as today. :o)
65 comments:
I'm glad you had such a great day at school! And good for you for leaving the laptop behind! Hugs!
Rachael,
Right after Hannah's accident, I followed a link from another blog asking for prayers for you. I haven't had the chance to comment but I check your blog daily and have prayed for you often. Your spirit amazes me. I have prayed for you to be encouraged through this hard time yet, I come here and get encouraged reading how you have handled the toughest situation imaginable. We live fairly close to each other and I often wish I could just hug you! Keep your chin up, You are much stronger than you think.
I am so relieved to read this post - primarily knowing that you feel better and that you are moving beyond the morons with their negative comments. Being a teacher, too, I know it's a HUGE relief to know that you are getting great kids. I am glad this year will be promising for you! Great idea to have the comments moderated! Again, keep up the great work and a sincere thank you for being so honest and so open!
~Lynn
You are so resilient and I knew you would find a way to not let the mean spirited at heart get you down. You go girl!!!
So happy to hear that your new school, co-workers, and class list are turning to be a true gift from God. You are definitely where you need to be during this season of your life and it seems as they are lifting you just at the times when you need to be lifted. God is Faithful!
BTW it sounds like you have a lot of awesome shopping right by you: Gymboree Outlet, Stride Rite Outlet, Chicos, Yankee Candle big store I need to come there sometime if not to take in the sights to SHOP!!!
Hope you and your family have an awesome weekend!!!
Adam's Mom's sister, again. It may be strange, but I just wanted to send some hugs your way. You are an amazing person, have an amazing family. My life has been blessed by your blog and the way you so openly and honestly share yourself, and for that I can never say thank you enough. Keep doing what you are doing. Hannah is still changing lives every minute of every day, mine included. God bless you, you are in my thoughts and prayers every day. Cindy
That is a great idea to have Brien "monitor" so to speak your comments.
I think it's hilarious that Lily starts everything with "a" I always say it out loud to get the full effect of how it actually sounds. (I know I am crazy). I know she is one sweet girl.
So funny that Hannah drew leg hair for Brien,I love hearing stories like that.
Sounds like you had a nice day all in all, and are VERY thankful for the staff at your new school. You are going to be the BEST 5th grade teacher in school, you just have to believe that also.
Sleep Tight, Joani
Great idea having the comments moderated - sounds like exactly what you need right now. I was thinking - how fortunate you are to be a teacher. I've worked many jobs, and have never known the community that surrounds you like that of teachers. As I've mentioned before, my mother was a second grade teacher for 17 years before having to retire after a stroke. When she had her stroke the people that reached out to us to help were amazing. We spent two weeks at a hospital out of town because it was better and parents of former students came and mowed the yard, fellow teachers set up a calendar to bring meals by once we were home...many different examples of great people. It's heartening to know that you are so excited about your new coworkers during this new part of your life. I hope they continue to surround you with the love and support you deserve.
So glad you are doing well and I think its a great idea to have your hubby preview your comments. That way, if something ugly is said (which I hope never happens again) he can delete it.
Hi Rachel! I am SO happy to hear that you are having a better day today. I have said a prayer for you every night since your sweet Han passed away and after reading about the horrible post last night, I prayed even longer and harder for your family :) I think moderating the comments is an EXCELLENT idea...I do the same so that the few mean, ugly people out there can't let their anger and bitterness come across MY page. Stay strong...you are truly an inspiration-Shelly :)
Oh Yeahhhhhh for you Rachel!!!! Prayers and hugs!
I am so glad that you have decided to keep posting. Your writing has truly been inspiring and since I have just gone through a loss, I have been able to relate to many of the things you have written. So please keep it up. I know it's healing for you too.
Day by day, you just keep walking through this journey. You have to keep walking...
I am so glad you decided to continue to write. What a excellent idea to have hubby screen your comments. I love reading your blog. I look forward to it of the evening. Sounds weird....I know because I don't even know you. I am not a stalker I promise. Your honesty is so refreshing. Thank you for sharing apart of yourself and your family.
As you count your blessings, I'm counting them right along with you. You did great, and I think it is a wise decision to have 'comment moderation' where they are read first, then allowed. Many bloggers do this to keep their blog clean. I can just see Brien with his feather duster, running his finger along the lines. Ha!Have a great weekend, Rach.
Yes! I had a feeling that 61+ positive comments might give you that extra boost to keep posting!
Kudos to you, and have oh-so-much fun in fifth grade!
your friend in Indiana,
Elaine
I'm glad that you didn't disable the comments if they are (mostly) helping you. It always seems to be true that one person ruins it for everyone. The comment moderation is a great idea, although I wish it wasn't neccessary for you.
You continue to amaze me, and inspire me to see the lovely things in my kids each day.
Truth be told, I had a bad mommy moment last night and yelled at my kids. I know it doesn't mean I don't love them, it just means I'm human. I didn't read whatever post this thing was talking about, but I'm willing to bet you were just being a normal mommy having a normal rough day. Any parent that says they never have those days is LYING. In some ways, I think the parents that talk about those bad moments are the better parents. Because we realize how hard this parenting thing is...and we still love it.
I miss your baby though I never knew her. She's still a shining star and makes many, many parents remember what precious gifts their children are.
I went back and saw the post you wrote with Hannah and her silver stripy swim suit. I cried. She was, and is, a beautiful girl. I see my own 5-year-old in her.
I absolutely adore your prospective on life. To be able to take such difficult time in your life and find the good in it AMAZES me everyday! I also pronounce all of Lily's words out loud to hear the true sound. She's such a living Doll! I know Hannah is forever Proud of her little sister, as will Lily of her older sister! =)
I'm so happy to find that today and this evening have been good moments for you. I know Hannah is so thrilled with all of your Sparklies and Proud of your Milestones.
I again thought of Hannah while eating my tomatoes today and admiring our Sunflowers that have bloomed over the past few days. HUGS to you, and prayers for another Good day! =)
Just wanted to say you are inspiring me to continue my education (elementary ed) and I wanted to let you know I totally didn't want to teach 5th or 6th grade and then I observed in 5th grade this last year and it was AMAZING!!! They are Darling and adorable and GET YOUR JOKES!
Oh, and Hi Brien! :)
Love and hugs froM Tennessee
I cannot recall how I first came across this blog (perhaps a local news report?), but I just wanted to say: it's truly beautiful in its eloquence, honesty, and humanity. Just as beautiful is the way that so many people come here to offer their support. May you and your family find peace and happiness in the days and years to come.
It's going to be a beautiful day tomorrow here in Williamsburg--hope that you, Brien, and Lily can get outside and enjoy it!
I am so glad you are feeling better. What a great idea that Brien is going to moderate the comments! I am thrilled for you also that you feel so comfortable and happy with your new school. You must be so relieved that everyone is so wonderful. Hang in there, you are doing great! Lots of hugs and prayers!
Christine
Rachael - I am so happy that you had a wonderful day at school today! How cool that the kids list has been "approved" by your comrades :O)
Stay strong - you and Brien and Lily have such amazing will power and strength, and I admire you all for that
I am glad today was a good day. Sounds like your new job is going to be a real blessing!
I love the Hanah coloring story! Too cute!
What an excellent solution to your comment situation... so smart! Thinking of you!
Steph
I am so glad you are going to continue to post. You are an inspiration to me, and I so admire your strength and honesty... I think of your family daily, often times throughout the day and say a quick prayer for you and for Hannah and that you are all finding the strength and will to get through each day.
Hang in there.... I want to say it's bound to get easier, but even if that's not true, I know you will perservere.
I read your blog and wanted to say that you and your family have been in my heart since I read about Hannah's death.
I loved reading about shopping for shoes and you enjoying finding shoes that Hannah would have liked. It made me think of a book that I read several years ago.
It is called "Hannah's Gift" about a little girl named Hannah who died from cancer. Her mother wrote this book in tribute to Hannah's wonderful spirit. It reminded me of your Hannah. Maybe it can bring you some small comfort.
I can't even begin to know what you and your family is experiencing. I know you don't ever "get over" a loss such as you've experienced, but life grows around the loss--it is always there and it doesn't diminish, but love and life move us forward....And I think of what my one of my favorite authors wrote once, (Julia Alvarez) that "Memory is the heart's anchor..."
Sending thoughts of hope and healing for you (my favorite sister is a 2nd grade teacher, too:))
Alison
I found your blog as I was skipping about blogrolls. I am so sorry for your loss and was shocked that apparently someone had left negative comments. (I don't think I read that far back.) I couldn't believe someone would be so insensitive. I have only a vague idea of what you are going through. My first baby was born with a heart defect and died four days later. I never brought her home. Perhaps it was easier that way in that I didn't see her in every part of my world. I did feel a sense of loss at what would have been. A few months after our baby died, it got back to me that someone had said I should have been over my grief by then. I thought this was heartless. I can't imagine what you must be feeling.
Time has healed me somewhat, and we have two children now, but I'll always feel the loss of my firstborn. No parent should have to bury a child.
My prayers are with you, and I'm glad you are continuing to blog.
Hi. This is my first time actually leaving a comment but I read your blog every night that I come to work (I don't have a computer at home so I have to wait until I get to work). I just want you to know how Hannah has absolutely touched my life and you should be very proud of her both in life and death. Hannah has made me pay more attention to the IMPORTANT things in life rather than material things. Hannah has made me find a love inside of myself and a truly deeper love for my family that I have never felt before. Everyone that met Hannah is absolutely lucky to have been able to meet such a wonderful being. I just wish that I would have been lucky enough to meet Hannah although it seems I already know her.
You are absolutely one of the bravest and strongest women that I know. I want you to know that in my eyes both you and Hannah are my heros.
I wish you and your family the best. By the way, Hannah will never be gone as long as you continue to let her memory live on and let her touch more lives as she has done to mine.
Rach-
So glad to hear you will be back. The thoughts of not being able to learn more this little girl that we have all grown to love so much made me terribly sad. Keep the Hannah stories coming!!
When you were talking about Lily and how "busy" she is, it just makes me laugh. I love how much of a little spark she is. The stories that we hear about her are going to be so fun!
I've determined, Hannah sparkles and Lily sparks!!
Enjoy the weekend, I sure I was in beautiful Williamsburg to!
Hugs!!
Oh yeah! So glad to hear you're going to continue posting...what a great idea to have your husband monitor them.
Do the students start Monday? Sounds like you're going to have an excellent class!!!
Thanks again for you wonderful words.
Have a GREAT weekend!
Jess in Nebraska
I'm so happy to hear that today was a better day for you! I have no doubt that you will tackle 5th grade with the same finesse that you've used with everything else!
Hi Rachael,
I too have lurked here for a bit (came somehow from another blog), but today I wanted to comment on one thing you said. And good idea about the moderation by the way.:)
Anyway, you said, "I began to intentionally look for Fancy Hannah shoes and enjoyed them. I was grateful I had had Hannah to teach me to look for the fun and ridiculous in life. :o) Please don't think this means I don't miss her, because OH BOY I do."
Rachael, it's ok to be happy. I think one of the hardest things after losing a child (we lost two through adoption) is to allow yourself to "not" think about them. To allow yourself to be happy "without them" and to not feel guilt for feeling that way. It's ok, and it doesn't mean you've forgotten her.
You're doing a great job mom. It's tough, but so are you. ((((HUGS)))
d:)
Great idea putting the comments through your husband.
I have posted about the support day on my blog. It is very general, non confrontational, you inspired this thought but I am not telling people to post hateful themselves. Anyway if you are interested go check it out.
It is great that you feel so positive and loved at work. So many people hate to go to work(teachers included) it is wonderful to hear of one who is excited about being there.
Hi Rachael,
I followed a link to your blog and read about your beautiful, sweet and smart Hannah.
I'm a teacher too and it's great to read you are going to have great kids !!! Me too, at first, I was a little afraid of older kids then found out , they are great too! ;-) And it's more work, so you get your mind busy all day long !!! I love it!
It's great you live near outlet stores!!! I envy you: great stuffs, cheap prices !!! Having girls means lots of shopping (mostly pink though ;-) !)
I'll keep reading your blog which touched my heart and made me cry... (I wasn't able to read all yet) I'll keep praying for you and your family. I'm sending you all the positive thoughts I have for the future!!!
((((hugs))))
Hugs
I'm so happy I can still start my day and end it by reading your blog! I've said it before I'm saying it again, you inspire me!
I honestly feel that it was God let me get the link to this blog, to make that change in my life I've been needing to make. There were days I tried so hard, and other's I didn't try at all...but reading here daily helps keep me focused!
I know blogging helps you, but your blogging is helping a lot of other's too!
Yay Rach! I am so glad that you came up with a fitting idea on how to deal with the negative comment issue - that is great. I am so glad that you had a good day on Friday and had such meaningful milestones. I am so proud of you, and you inspire me so much. I am thinking about you this weekend and I am going to keep my eyes open for any sparklies that come my way today. Hugs!
I am glad to hear all went well for you!! I also love to hear Hannah stories, Thanks again for sharing. :)
I'm so glad the day at school went so well for you. I am sure, at year's end, they will all be raving about you.
Lots of hugs to you, Rach.
I'm glad that the day got better for you. You are so strong, and I'm relieved that you have such supportive people around you at home, work, and on the computer- especially during those extra tough times.
We say lots of prayers for you during the day. Hopefully, when you're praying you'll feel the positive energy coming from all those who love you.
We've also said lots of prayers up to your Angel Hannah. And recently, we've seen INCREDIBLE sun rays peeking through the clouds. Each time, Ron and I say, "That's Hannah smiling down on everyone."
You are an inspiration and a blessing to so many people around you. Thanks for touching all of our hearts. One day at a time, oh wonderful mommy. One day at a time.
Lots of love,
Kelly
(Waving to Brien!) (You have an amazing wife, you know.)
That story about Hannah drawing the leg hair is too precious. It's amazing what they notice and focus on.
Your new school sounds like a wonderful place to be. Your fifth graders - and the school as a whole - are very lucky to have you.
Oh Rachel! This is the first time I've had a chance to read your blog since Monday and my heart is broken for you that someone would leave a negative comment. It's absurd that someone would cause additional pain to someone who's already grieving so deeply. Even sadder is that person will reap what they sow! Please know that you and your family are in my prayers daily. I pray you have a sparkly weekend!!!! Love, Velvia
Rach- I am so glad you are continuing to blog and leaving the comments open. I start my day reading what you wrote the night before (usually at 530am) and it always helps me to set my mood for the day. If one of my managers at work refers to me as "perky" one more time, I may have to hurt him. I look forward to popping in.
And with Brien reading everything first, well, Bella comments will just have to be in code won't they? LOLOL
XOXOXOX (additional ones for Brien & Lily too!!)
ev
What a fabulous post! You are never far from my thoughts and prayers. I am so glad to day was good for you! Enjoy your weekend without your computer.
A midwest mom
Rachael,
I found a sparklie for you! Here it is:
This is to be my Symphony
William Henry Channing
To live content with small means;
to seek elegance rather than luxury,
and refinement rather than fashion;
to be worthy, not respectable,
and wealthy, not rich;
to study hard, think quietly,
talk gently, act frankly;
to listen to stars and birds,
to babes and sages, with open heart;
to bear all cheerfully, do all bravely,
await occasions, hurry never.
In a word, to let the spiritual,
unbidden and unconscious,
grow up through the common.
This is to be my symphony.
I love you bunches.
Mom
Mom, it's perfect!!
To everyone: thank you all for sticking with me through thick and thin. :o)
Rach, glad to hear about your decisions and triumphs -- I hope you feel at peace with them. And, I hope you know that God "broke the mold" when he made you and your family -- he created such a special bunch. Just wanted to leave you with this wonderful statement I stumbled upon somewhere in my travels... "May this day be more fuller than yesterday." Blessings to you, Jennifer from MD
....whoops... meant to write "may this day be more FULL than than yesterday." Hope I don't get my knuckles smacked by the teacher!
Yay! I'm so glad you had a good day.
I'm leaving for my trip bright and early tomorrow, but know I will be thinking of you guys while I'm gone.
Take care! :)
I just found your blog today through a link from the aussie mistress. I am so sorry for your loss; we nearly lost one at birth, so to actually have it happen, I can only imagine how much grief you've endured. Hannah *is* literally still with you and always will be, through the bond of your love for each other.
As for the @#$%! who is ignorant enough to dig in your wounds, they should mean nothing to you. They clearly are incapable of empathy and lack a human conscience. You and your dh are far finer people than they can ever aspire to being.
I smiled with your memory of Hannah's drawing. Bless you for sharing it.
Wishing you smiles in return.
Hey Rachael - I'm going on vacation for a week and I doubt I'll have internet access. I am going to miss your blog the most! Even though I'm not around to comment please know I am always thinking of you and your family!
With love,
Sheri
I know it must be hard to see things while you are shopping that Hannah would have loved. I know this is not the same but both of my parents are gone and I miss them so much. It's not the same because as hard as it is, one expects to have their parents go before them in the natural course of things. However, maybe this same idea can comfort you a little. I sometimes experience things I know they would have enjoyed and now they are not here to enjoy them. For instance the river house we now have. They would have loved it so much and sometimes I feel guilty I'm enjoying it and they aren't here to enjoy it with me. Then I think, as beautiful as this place is, it cannot compare in any way with the beauty of the place they are in now. We can't even imagine how beautiful Heaven is. So, when you see things you know Hannah would have loved also know that she is getting to wear the most beautiful sparklie things ever. You can't even imagine how beautiful they are. I know you miss your baby but she is ok and enjoying the most wonderful, beautiful things she ever saw.
Hello, Racheal. I have not commented in a while but, I've thought of you very much!!! I'm truly sorry to hear that you've had trouble with mean, evil, people who are unhappy in their own lives. That is what the problem is, not you. You have sooooo many people who love you and support you, your children and Brien. People you know and people you don't, like me.
I mention you on my blog and I know that my friends have been blessed by you and Hannah. You grace and courage is amazing. Jesus loves you and you are such a hero.
Kristen
My blog got a huge makeover! Very fancy
And, I thought of Hannah the other night, being a fellow lover of all things fancy... I love perfume. I have some I wear at night that is calming (Philosophy's Pure Grace, you give me your address and I'll send you some) and clean smelling. Well, I found a sample of Chanel Chance that I got a few weeks ago from a Sephora order an d stupidly spayed myself! It's very overwhelming. I was too fancy for my own good... had to bathe all over again.
Rachael,
Just wanted to say that I am praying for you and your family. God doesn't give us more than we can handle, which says a lot about your strength. I don't understand what God's plan is in all this, but sometimes we are not supposed to understand; just trust Him. I have a new baby and after reading your posts, I have hugged her just a little tighter and kissed her just a little more since reading about the joy that is Hannah and her legacy. She was and is such a beautiful light.
I wanted to add that I am a teacher as well. I made the jump from 2nd to 4th (not quite the same I know) but believe me, you will love them just as much as your 7-8 yr olds. I was so nervous teaching "big kids" but they turned out to be sooo sweet... and guess what---they get my jokes! :)
I was hoping you would decide on something like moderation....it wouldn't have been fair to shut down something so important in your life over this nastyness.
I had thought you could try not allowing anonymous comments....I moderate as well as disallowing anonymous...for this reason. VERY SMART having hubby do the moderating...you don't need to know about them, but if it gets to him, you could try the avenue of forcing people to own up to their comments, they might be a little more careful!
You sound much better in this post...I am glad.
I wanted to whisper to you tonight.
Actually, I come to sit with you every night, but am usually quiet. I do cry, with you and for you, every time I come. But each time, I am also encouraged and blessed by you, your family, your life, your Hannah. I hug my own tighter because of you. I stop for the small moments more because of you. My own Anysa, also 5 1/2, would have likely gotten along splendidly with Hannah; like kindred-spirits. Thank you for helping me better embrace both of my children's spirits more fully each day.
Please keep coming back to this place and let us continue to love you and hug you and learn from you every day.
Glad you are still posting. (To tell you the truth - I was being a little selfish - hoping that you would not stop posting - I would have missed not reading about you every day... :) If it helps you though - I am glad you are still doing it. I am glad that you had a good day today!!!!!
(Hi Brien)...
Much love...
Karey
Rach-
I've been gone for two weeks and it has taken me all day to catch up. I have smiled, laughed and cried as I've caught up on your last two weeks. Thank you for sharing your heart.
I'm glad you can keep blogging. And selfishly I'm glad I can keep reading.
I have at times been judgmental and am thankful when someone reminds me that how wrong it is and I have no right to make judgments about what I don't know. Thank you!
I am so incredibly happy that you have such a wonderful place to teach and great people to teach with. Until last October I was a high school teacher and left to be home more and find a better environment to work in. I miss the kids so much, but it was too hard to work in an awful environment. I too think you were led to this school and I'm so glad they are so caring and supportive.
I know that you know this, but I just wanted to tell you that I am one more person that is affected daily by you and your little monkey. I think of you often and truly believe you are a wonderful person and mother.
(((HUGS))),
Lindsay
Just wanted to send extra prayers today to you and your family! The last thing I do before I go to bed or the first thing I do at work each morning is come for a visit. Thank you!
Rach,
Glad to hear you're doing better. I am sorry that you had some rough days and felt odd about your blog. I don't want you to stop blogging! I enjoy reading yours on a daily basis!
I hope you had a great weekend! Thinking of you.
Thanks for sharing Hannah's drawing story. I laughed outloud, and it felt good. Thanks.
I am so glad you did not let the negativity get you. Of course it stings and makes you question yourself, but from what I've read you are a better person than that. I am so inspired by your determination, will to go on, the love you have for your family......
I am really glad you are not going to let someone's ugliness stop you from being a blessing to the rest of us in bloggerland.....
Today my husband and I were driving in the mountains, and came across a quite lake FULL of lily pads in bloom. I asked my husband to take some pictures, simply because your Hannah immediately came to mind. I posted them on my blog, if you would like to see, and shared just a wee bit about you. I hope that is okay. If not, by all means, let me know and I can remove it. You can reach me via the email address that is attached to this comment. I just wanted to somehow give you something to smile about today.
You don't know me, but I have been keeping up with your blog for a while (I am a member of BOL). I'm so sorry anyone has said or done anything to hurt you or your family. You will continue to be in my prayers :o) Keep your positive outlook.. you are a wonderful mother and seem like such a genuine person. I'm sure angel Hannah smiles down on her family every single second of every single day!
Hi,
You don't know me. I found your blog through another blog and I wanted to say how so very sorry I am for your loss.
As far as the negative comments go...some people feel like they have the right to pass judgment. I know it's easier said than done but don't pay any attention to them. They have no idea what your are going through. I think it's a great idea to have all of your comments screened by your husband at least that way you'll be protected from the negativity that some people project. Your blog is your blog and you should be able to say on it what ever you want with out being judged.
Hi Rachael-
I was sent to this blog by Kristen The Shoe Addict shortly after Hannah's accident. I keep coming back to quietly read your blog, because I think you have such an amazing spirit. I can feel your spirit even through your blog, and I have cried and laughed so many times reading about Hannah and Lily (I was especially moved by the entry about Brien's abhorition (for lack of a better word,) of Hannah when he was away on business.) I am not a parent, but your blog is a tribute to living each day to the fullest, with spunk and spirit. I am glad you have decided to continute to blog. You have so many supporters here.
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