Monday, August 20, 2007
Please Keep Hands, Feet and All Objects in the Car...
...we are in for a bumpy ride. The roller coaster ride continues as this has been one Hell of a day. I'll get to that in a moment, but first I wanted to share some photos from this weekend.
Do you see the froggy? This one and another have taken up permanent residence in the pond now that they are safe from Holly's hunting antics. ;oP
Are you a locavore? Even the Farmers' Market is on board.
I took this photo while looking down DOG St towards campus. As you can see, booths and stalls line either side of the street. There are plants, herbs, flowers, fresh fruit and veggies, meats, eggs, honey, cheeses, soaps and more! It is truly amazing and so much fun to explore. There is no telling who or what you may see at the Farmers' Market!
Ah, this man was working on his Bonsai and small dish gardens.
Oh how I wish this picture and the next weren't fuzzy. I had to post them because this is the beautiful little girl who danced with such enthusiasm and abandon. She was so very precious and perfect.
Her movements reminded me so strongly of Hannah it was uncanny. She and Han would have danced together, uncaring of their audience, losing themselves in the moment.
We left the Farmers' Market and walked around Merchant's Square, exploring and discovering new stores and restaurants. One small shop had these beaded decorations hanging outside. I saw the "cuckoo-pelly" and had to have his picture. When Nana and Pop returned from a trip to Arizona a few years back, they brought me a necklace with this little guy on it. Hannah fell in love and "cuckoo-pelly" was born. :o)
Later Saturday evening, Lil explored the fountain at New Town. Please note she is attempting to stand on her tip toes in order to see everything a little easier.
Lily's new best friend. The last time I was in Old Navy, I was with both girls, purchasing the sparkly stripy bathing suit. Han sat on the bench with Lil who kept trying to climb on the doggy and was continually pushing the button next to the doggy, listening to him "speak". Poor Han, each time she would exclaim, "It wasn't me, Mommy! I promise!" Silly Monkey. :o)
And here are Lily's Fancy Hannah shoes. I would never have purchased such shoes for Hannah (as a toddler, anyway), being far too much a traditionalist when it comes to dressing my girls. I would have purchased a pair of white sneakers and been done with it. Now, I question why I was so set on not having such fun shoes. Hannah has taught me small battles over shoes are STUPID! The gray-ish parts to the shoes are actually VERY sparkly. :o)
Of course, now that I have a moment to reflect, I'm ready to go to sleep. As always, please forgive any typos as I'm very VERY sleepy.
Today was a very difficult day for both Brien and I. As B put it, he was returning to the site of the worst moment/day of his life. I had a hard time because B returning to work seemed to drive home our life is moving forward without the Monk along. We are back into what could possibly be called our "normal" routine. It is going to be our new definition of normal and it is hard to believe Han is not here to move on with us.
This evening has been especially hard for me. We are back into our school year routines of dinner and bedtime and Hannah wasn't here to shunt off to brush her teeth (all the while humming, "Oh, I...Had a little chicken and she wouldn't lay an egg so I poured hot water up and down her leg..." to the tune of "Turkey in the Straw") and get her jams on, then racing down the hall as Lily called out, "Na-NUH, aNa-NUH!" summoning her sister to come and play with her and hug her goodnight.
I'm not sure how I feel right now. I'm utterly exhausted and can't believe school has only just started as I am pooped! I guess at this moment I'm too tired to feel much of anything.
1. I wore one of Hannah's multitude of shiny butterfly clips today.
2. I also wore my "Hannah" bracelet.
3. Discovering more tadpoles in the pond!
4. Domino's "hamburger pizza, Mommy!" for dinner.
5. My new, sparkly orange bordette for the classroom.
6. Enjoying all the Crepe Myrtle as we drove around today.
7. Excellent friends, both old and new. My friend, Angie, came to check on me at school today, bringing with her her friend, Pat, and the most amazing smelling spinach lasagna. :o) My new friend, Scottie came along just as I needed her today. She is there to listen and to ask insightful questions that are neither intrusive nor insensitive. She seems to harbor the same spirituality and thoughts about Hannah's impact and importance as I do. In our more insightful moments, Brien and I are convinced Hannah was chosen for a reason, that there was a specific purpose in her death. God must have needed her for something and she had accomplished what she was sent here to do. And, a good as all this makes us feel spiritually, we still HURT and LONG for her to still be here with us.
1. Brien returned to work today. I had not anticipated this event being as hard for me as it was.
As I have written before, milestones are incredibly difficult for a number of reasons. They typically involve us doing something Hannah loved to do and she is no longer with us, or they are some monumental task we need to do or overcome. But, as with all milestones, they take us that much further away from our life and days with Hannah. I dread the day our time without Hannah will be longer than our time with Han.
I'm trying not to, but am still nodding off as I type so I had better sign off. Maybe I'll tell the story of Hannah and the Palindromes tomorrow night. ;oP