We had our second Compassionate Friend's meeting this evening. Emily, bless her generous soul, came and babysat for us while we went. From all appearances, she and Lil had a great time! :o)
I'm tired, my contact lenses are completely dried out, and I want to go to bed, but I need to get this written first. This journaling is such an important step for me. On days I don't journal and reflect I am more out of sorts the following day. This is a way for me to be introspective and, to quote Kenny Rogers, "check in to see what condition my condition" is in. The feelings are easier for me to manage when I identify and deal with them on a daily basis as opposed to letting them build up.
The Compassionate Friends meeting was once again very helpful. There is comfort in being with a group of people who have all experienced similar losses. Losing my Papa was the most difficult thing I had ever experienced up to this point, and it is nothing compared to the pain of this loss. I have been unable to identify any specific pattern for my days, they are what they are. Some days are super, some I'm just there, and some hurt so horribly I don't know how I'm going to keep moving forward. And yet, I still manage to.
Today was a "normal" day. I felt decent today--not too happy, not too sad, just here. And you know what, just "here" is just fine. The overwhelming sadness is so hard to manage I'm content to be "just here". I've decided God won't let you have too many horrible days in a row because you would be unable to breathe, let alone function.
As I'm typing, I feel myself fading fast I'm so tired. So, on with the sparklies!
1. Emily--what more could a person ask for than a friend who is there to babysit and bring dinner?
2. Sister Rose--she is now teaching my students religion and is wonderful.
3. My new fifth grade teaching partner--she's here and she's really nice! :o)
4. The two little green tree frogs hanging out outside the porch light. They are just so sweet. :o)
5. Lily--she is just too funny as she plays with her new trains.
Numbers 6 and 7 are MONDO sparklies--they were two utterly random acts of kindness that floored me with their kindness and generosity
6. I received a package today from a nice lady in Dallas, TX. I'll post pictures and a link tomorrow, but suffice it to say she sent a very meaningful gift that is VERY appreciated.
7. I had already received the package when I checked my mail at lunch time. There, in my mailbox was an envelope with a message saying the author is a dance instructor who thought Hannah's dance was beautiful. She was including a bunch of sparkly stickers she had given out at their dance school's open house. That one really made me cry it was such a sweet and beautiful message.
1. Our second Compassionate Friends meeting.
That's all I can think of tonight as my eyes are now glued open from the nastiness that is bone-dry contact lenses. And, I'm nodding off as I type so I'm off. Good night everyone!