Tuesday, September 18, 2007

That's What Friends Are For


I don't know where to begin except to say I am truly blessed. You see, some of my dearest friends drove all the way from Newport News to see me this evening. Kathy organized it, I chose the location for dinner and Edie, Mary, Cathy, Naomi, Enora, Kathy, Angie, Chris, Lana, Joy, Sarah and Bridget all came up for a visit. I'm so touched and blessed I don't know what to say.

Shortly after Hannah died and I had a house full of people, I remember saying that Brien and I must have done something right in our lives to be surrounded by so much love and support. Boy, did I feel the love tonight!

We met at 5:00 and didn't leave the restaurant until almost 7:30!! Wow! We all worked together and then, this year, so many of us left and moved on to other schools and other jobs. I have missed these ladies SO much, and the fact they all came to me was amazing! They all have families to take care of and papers to grade and school work to do, yet they took time from their busy lives to visit and play.

Naomi has been my surrogate mom for years--she has often said I'm just like her daughter, Angie. Now, I'm more like Angie than ever. You see, Angie had a beautiful little girl named Sterling who died when she was five. Naomi is another source of strength and courage for me. I've determined that there is a sad sort of club for parents and grandparents who have lost children and we draw strength from those who have gone before us. Nae and I talked and talked and she said I was just like Angie and that she chose to work through her grief the same way B and I have chosen to work through ours. She said that Angie was so positive and uplifting to those around her even in her grief and that she can see I'm doing the same. This was very reassuring to me as I have often worried I was maybe feeling a little too alive and "normal" and the worst was ahead of me yet. Now, I think I'm just riding my roller coaster the way that is best for me.


There was so much laughter and fun as we caught up and traded stories. We all had split personalities as we tried to pay attention to all the conversations that were happening around us. There was such much to catch up on!! I think my favorite part of the evening came at the end. We all proclaimed we were too stuffed for dessert and Mary looked so sad--she had wanted dessert! Being the codependent crew we are, four more of us decided we just had to have some as well. Amazingly enough, we all selected different desserts and before I knew it, we were passing our plates around the table for everyone to sample our goodies. :o)

As Bridge and I were talking across the table, we decided Friday is a Sparkly Hannah Day. We are going to wear our sparkly finest and celebrate the day. We then decided everyone needed to be in on this and spread the word from one end of the table to the other. It has been decided, Friday is definitely Sparkly Hannah Day! Everyone will wear their duds and Lana is in charge of taking pictures to send to me so I can post them on the blog. I invite all of you to participate and help celebrate the day! :o)

I'm sure you've been wondering about the gorgeous stained glass in the two photos above. My dear, sweet friend, Chris, gave it to me this evening, complete with the lovely stand. She intended for it to be put in Hannah's garden, but I might not be able to part with it and may instead keep it in a window here in the house. It is so perfect with the water lily, frog and fairy. I LOVE it! She seemed a little distressed it had taken a while to get it to me, but I felt the timing was just perfect with Han's birthday just around the corner.

As we were nearing the end of our time together, Kathy, who is always prepared and organized, whipped out her calendar so we could plan our next time together. We settled on October 9th at a lovely restaurant in Newport News. I'm already filled with excitement in anticipation of our next get together! :o)

Of course, I'm left feeling slightly guilty B had to be home alone with Lil who was more than a little bit of a handful this evening. Poor thing. :oP

The Olive Garden is next door to the HUGE Yankee Candle Flagship store and I've been trying to get in to purchase a couple of the spicy Autumn fragrances. Angie, Lana, Sarah, Bridget and I all went over and I met with success. I love going to Yankee as it reminds me so much of Hannah.

Per the Hannah norm, she LOVED visiting Yankee, I think in hopes of getting to go to "Builder Bear" (Build-a-Bear). Actually, she loved almost everything in the building. She would ring the wind chimes, smell the candles, play in the toy store, watch the toy train, dance through the snow in the Christmas stores, and admire all the decorative touches throughout, pointing out those which she thought would go best in our house. :o)

To that end, I wound up purchasing a jar candle (Harvest fragrance) and a pretty little decorative shade and plate to compliment it. Feeling the Monk with me this evening, I splurged and purchased them, when under other circumstances I would have just purchased the candle and left.

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And, for kicks, here are two pictures of the Mini Monk being nothin' but trouble! She managed to get herself perched on the window ledge and then was "aSTUCK, Mommy!!" Now, this is NOT behavior I want to encourage by any stretch of the imagination, but it was really funny in this moment.


Hm, maybe Lil thinks she's a "meow" too. ;oP It's funny, Lil knows they're kitties and can even say, "kitty" and yet she insists on calling them "meows". Kids are too funny!

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Today's Sparklies:

1. My wonderful, fantastically beautiful friends! I love them all so dearly and don't know what I would do without them! :o)
2. The beautiful stained glass window Chris gave me.
3. Mary prayed for us at Mother Teresa's house while she was in India. She returned with a Mother Teresa medal for me. I'm so touched.
4. Brien has set up a new website, currently with photos of Lil he has taken with his new toy.
5. A school that bands together when times are tough. The sub in my new coworker's room actually helped write the sub plans for the rest of the week!
6. The weather continues to be GORGEOUS!
7. One of my sweeties had a beautiful little bracelet today. :o)
8. The kids continue to delight me with their wit, wisdom and enthusiasm.


Today's Milestones:

I'm drawing a blank today. You see, things are moving along. There is a new "normal" for so many things that I almost don't realize when they have shifted from old "normal" to new. So many daily activities that seemed strange without Han around to help out are now "normal". In many ways I hate this change, and yet, I embrace it because it means we are moving forward, we are moving towards healing. Oh, God, do I miss the Monk. I miss so many things and know I will always do so. Yet, for now, I don't hurt. I miss her but the painful ache hasn't been present the past few days.

Knowing how my grief manifests itself, I'm sure there are painful days ahead, so I once again embrace these good ones and enjoy them while I have them. I've had such a nice day--I waltzed through it with this evening to look forward to!--and now I'm anticipating a decent night's sleep. Let's keep our fingers crossed Lil manages to stay asleep this evening. I spent from midnight to 12:30 with her last night, which has left me feeling rather tired this evening.

I'm looking forward to all the sparklies yet to be seen tomorrow!

Don't forget, let's be sparkly on Friday! :o)

25 comments:

Jess said...

Glad you had such a nice time with your girlfriends!

That stained glass is just amazing! What a thoughtful gift, I know you will cherish it.

Rhonda said...

What a wonderful night out with your friends! The stained glass is beautiful!!! Friday is also my birthday and I will be full out sparkly!!!! Email me if you want pics!!!!

Erin said...

Friends are sucha blessing!

MrsGrumpy said...

I'm in on Friday. I have my new sparkly "Leonard" bracelet that I wear everyday and I am going to go out and shop for the sparkliest top I can find. I am so glad you were surrounded by friends. Maybe it is the evening. I had a peaceful evening (after the dinner) with my children and my son went to bed without tears tonight. Thank you so much for sharing your stories, your pain, your thoughts with us all. You have made me feel (for lack of a better word) understood. I am blessed that I went blog surfing that day back in the summer.

Katie said...

You and Brien have a wonderful support system.

The stained glass is beautiful!

Anonymous said...

i read your blog daily and your post made me so very happy today :) i'll be making sure that friday will be sparkly for me too, in honour of Hannah!

ps the stain glassed window is absolutely gorgeous!

Anonymous said...

Hugs.

Jess T said...

I'm so glad you had a great night!

I wish I could even go inside a Yankee store. Nine times out of ten, I'm sneezing outside the door. My mom and mother-in-law like the store. Sadly, they usually have to go in alone. :)

The stained glass piece is very pretty.

Brien's new toy does a very good job! The photos are cute.

Have a great day!

Joani said...

We will also be having a sparkly day on Friday, I will post on my blog Friday evening.
The stained glass is so unique, very pretty!
Brien's website looks good, I had no idea he takes such amazing photos.
You are surrounded by wonderful friends who love you so much it makes my heart soft.

karey said...

Glad you had a wonderful day! Those pics are great of Lily... Brien did a beautiful job!!

Hope you got some sleep also... :)
And - I can't wait to be sparkly on Friday!!! I will have to somehow come up with some sparkly Hokie attire to wear to work on Friday! :)

Much love!!!

Wendy said...

I'm glad you had a nice day.
Check out my blog- there is something there for you:
http://wendydelmo.typepad.com/one_day_at_a_time/

Wendy said...

I'm so glad you had a nice day!
Check out my blog- there is something there for you:
http://wendydelmo.typepad.com/one_day_at_a_time/

Tiburon said...

Rach that stained glass is GORGEOUS. And so perfectly Hannah! I am glad you had a great night out. And you can bet your bahookie that I will be celebrating Hannah's Birthday on Friday. :)

Laurie said...

What a beautiful night out with the "Girls". It is healing for the soul isn't it? I am sure it did their hearts more good than even yours. I too am going to do sparklies on Friday in my garden for Hannah and my other little angels who got their wings early. My two favorite seasons are Autumn and Spring. They both just get my heart going.
You sound so good in your writing, experiencing each day as it unfolds for you. Feeling alive is such a good thing, don't ever feel guilty.
It is good for Brien and Lily to see you be happy. It is good to play and feel normal, knowing there will be times when you will feel sad. You are honoring yourself and your family by riding your roller coaster the way it is best for you.
My prayers continue daily for you in this season and the ones ahead.
~*~Hugs and LoveBugs to you~*~
Laurie in Ca.

Jennifer said...

I posted a little thing on my blog about Hannah and your plan for a sparkly Friday. You are in my thoughts often and I so admire you for sharing your journey with me through your blog. Peace and comfort to all of you.

pam said...

WHAT A GREAT IDEA!! I will dress my two daughters in their sparkly best on Friday in honour of you Hannah. Pam

Ruhiyyih Rose said...

Wonderful, Rach!! I will be super sparkly on Friday and even while babysitting Jamie's baby girl! :) This is a great post. I am so glad that you had a great evening with such awesome supportive friends!

kathunter said...

Your dinner sounds like it was wonderful and I absolutely love the stained glass. I will definitely make Friday a sparkle day and send pictures.

By the way thank you SOOO much for being the friend to me that I've needed so much lately. It amazes me sometimes that I'm so lucky to have you and B as such good friends. I know without you guys I wouldn't have a chance of feeling normal. ;-) I hope that even though we aren't always physically there that we can be a support to you as you are to us.

shoeaddict said...

I think I'm going to put up on my blog that Friday is "Sparkly Hannah Day"

The Stevens Family said...

I am so glad you had a nice evening and dinner with friends. I am going to let my kids pick their own clothes on Friday and wear their sparkly hair stuff. I will take pics and put them on my blog on Monday. Also, Taylor loves letting balloons go so I will buy some for her and tell her to say Happy Birthday to Hannah before she lets them go!

Melissa said...

Just wanted to pop in and say hello! Glad you got some Special time with your friends. Friends are an AWESOME thing.

Anyway..just thinking of you! =)

Anonymous said...

Hello Rachel my name is Terena and we are family. My mom Donna Barnett Bishop and your Dad were cousins. I ahve very fond memories of your Dad when I was a little girl and I know that him and my Mom were very close. I just want to say that we have all been lifting you and Brien up in our prayers for a long time now. I read your blog daily but have never posted until now. I would love to send you an email or to chat with you some time. My email is tablaine@verizon.net if you are interested. I hope that we can talk or maybe someday meet up when you are in the burg. Always remember that God's Grace is sufficient and He will see you thru. All my love, Terena

Bonita said...

You are so fortunate! As the old saying goes, one door may shut, but others open. What a wonderful collection of friends, and the stained glass is so nice.

Barnetts said...

Rach~

Love the pics, I am so glad you had a wonderful time with your friends. I love the Lily pictures also the ones Brien took! I will find some sparkley stuff to wear on Friday!

Love & Hugs,
Jennifer

Laurie said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR HANNAH!!!**!!!
I am hoping today is a wonderful and joy filled day for your family as they visit you and celebrate this special day. Shower them with your sparklies today and let them know your spirit is right there with them.
People all over the country and beyond will be celebrating one very special little girl, YOU. You are so loved and very missed. I can only imagine how you "dressed for today"

Laurie in Ca.