With apologies to Paul because I know he doesn't particularly enjoy photos of messy baby faces, I'll finish up tonight's blogging.This series of pictures captures Miss Lily Belle at her happiest. She is feeding herself, and is riding high on at least 12 hours' sleep. :o)
Let's return to that "she's feeding herself" statement. Lily wants to do everything by herself. She will try to snatch/grab things from your hands in order to do the task on her own. The more I lament the loss of my tiny baby, the more independent this little monkey becomes. She is determined to be a contributing member of our household, but only on her terms!
This evening, she was utterly wiped out from her ordeal this afternoon. She was rudely awakened from her afternoon nap after only an hour. Then, we spent way too long with the doctor and trying to get the required medicine at Target. By the time we got home, it was 6:40, which is the time we usually try to get Lily ready for bed. Instead, we had to feed her, and bathe her and then get her ready for bed.
Lily has become a little creature of routine and habit. She knows she brushes her teeth before bed every evening. Brien was about to forget last night so Lily trundled into our bathroom and opened the drawer holding her toothbrush and toothpaste and struggled desperately to get into the drawer--she's such a tiny little peanut she was unable to reach in even while standing on her toes.
(Here, Mommy, would you like some cereal??)This evening we brushed teeth before her bath. (Lily is still frightened of the water pouring from the spigot, but is okay once she is in the water and the faucet is turned off.) When Brien removed her from the bath, Lil came searching for me to get her in her jim jams for bed. When I tried to put her diaper on her, Lily was most insistent I was doing things in the wrong order. Lotion first, then diaper, then onesie, then pj's. In that order. Period!To keep the peace, and because she really did need the lotion, I pulled out the tube and began to grease her down. Lil held her hand out, palm up and asked, "Eese, eese?" What could I do but give her a pea-sized dab of lotion? She rubbed her palms together and proceeded to rub lotion into her tummy and chest. I was floored! I'm not sure what I expected, but it wasn't for her to rub lotion into her own skin and reach out her little mitt and ask for more! She lotioned her front so well I didn't need to come behind her and fix it nor re-lotion. Things did get ugly when it came time to administer the "berry medicine" as Hannah calls it. Since she most likely has strep throat, and since she has a fever, we decided it would be best to give Lil a dose of Motrin before bed. Unfortunately, Lily decided she should be able to administer her own medicine. I tried to put the syringe in her mouth and dispense the medicine and she screamed and grabbed for the syringe and the bottle. She wanted to dip the syringe in the medicine and do it all herself. She was absolutely FURIOUS with me when I forced her to take the Motrin from me. No matter how much I tried to explain medicine is only given by Mommy or Daddy, she wasn't having any of it. She almost screamed herself sick she was so upset with me! I can only imagine how difficult it must be to want to be independent and do something yourself and be unable to actually accomplish the task because not only are your fine motor skills lacking, but also because you are just too young to manage it yet. Poor Lily! She'll be independent before I know it and my heart aches a little at the loss of my bitty baby, while at the same time it rejoices at all she is able to do. Parenthood is truly a double edged blade!
One of my biggest fears for a long, long time was that neither of my girls would be readers. Brien and I adore books and love to escape to another place/time via the written word. 
Han began to show interest in books by about 13 months, but I feared Lil would never like them. If ever we tried to read to her she would snatch the books from our hands and toss them aside. I was really REALLY worried!
Then, sometime in the past month, someone flipped a switch in Miss Lily's little noggin. Any more you will be hard pressed to find her without a book in her hot little hands.
And, she is very insistent you read to her. She will climb in your lap, grab your hand and shove whichever book happens to be in hers into yours.
As you can see, Han is not exempt from this book hijacking. If you are seated and Lily perceives you have nothing better to do (i.e. you're working on school work, blogging, etc.) you will read to Miss Demanding!
Ah, Hello Kitty Hello Shapes. Lily's current favorite. Aren't they sweet?
For those of you who were around last year about this time, you'll recall I was visited by two of James City County's finest as they were trying to serve some guy named Brandon Lee Bailey with a warrant. It was early in the morning and I had only just gotten Lily up and changed. I was obviously flustered and shocked--cops! On my doorstep!! OMG!!!I gave the officers all the info I had, telling them we had only recently purchased the house and had been plagued by mail for Mr. Bailey, who in fact was NOT the previous owner. Imagine my shock today upon discovering what I assumed to be two JCC officers on my front step yet again. I opened the door and was told, "We're looking for Brandon, ma'am." Huh?!? Again I was understandably flustered and sputtered I had been visited by "you" meaning JCC police the previous year. Only after getting out the "you" I realized the gentleman on my front stoop was wearing a US marshal's Kevlar vest. I repeated everything I knew and had told the gentlemen last year, the marshal thanked me and that was it.Yes, I'm still a little shaken from the sight of JCC/US marshals on my stoop, wondering if they are going to decide that I am some how involved in this situation (yes, that's called paranoia). But, I'm more curious than anything else. What in the name of heaven did Mr. Bailey do that now the US marshals are looking for him?? Inquiring minds want to know!
Let's see. What's new. Friday night I purchased what have to be the ugliest shoes ever. Honest. See that shoe up there? That's a Croc and they are truly hideous. But, they are without a doubt the most comfortable shoes I have ever worn. EVER! (I'm so so sorry, Dani. I couldn't help myself...:oP). I'm even considering getting a pair of their sandals (don't yell at me, Dan!). I'm a barefoot girl, preferring to wear no shoes whenever possible. These shoes are as close to going barefoot I can get while actually wearing shoes. They are amazing! Hannah is now clamoring for a pair, and quite frankly, I don't blame her. She too is a barefoot girl :o). Speaking of Hannah, she has been down and out for the past couple of days with a fever that has ranged from 99.1 to 102.5. In fact, it has hovered around 99.5 most of the day, while she was dosed with plenty of Motrin. This combined with a sore throat had me a little concerned. When I called Melanie this evening to let her know I would be staying home with Han tomorrow and would therefore be keeping Lily with me, I got Chris instead. I explained the situation to Chris and he said," Oh, I was just getting ready to call you to let you know daycare will be closed tomorrow because Kathryn has strep." Uh oh! I had Brien grab one of our bazillion flashlights and peer at Hannah's throat. Suffice it to say it is ugly down there. There is barely any room between her tonsils and her uvula! I'll be taking Miss Hannah and Miss Lily to the doctor tomorrow because my money is on Hannah having strep. She and Kathryn played together a week ago Friday and I figure the incubation period to be just about right that the girls would start exhibiting symptoms Friday evening or sometime Saturday, which they did.
I'm not one to take the girls to the doctor at the drop of a hat, nor do I wish them to take antibiotics until absolutely necessary. I consider strep to be one of those occasions. This will be Hannah's first course of antibiotics, except for one dose of amoxicillian when she was a year old and that's a really long, old, boring story. I'm pondering whether Lil should also be treated as she has been crawling all over Hannah (yay! Han was being nice to her baby sister! We are nearing the end of Princess Lesson Number One!!) and even ate after her a couple of times today. I don't want to needlessly give Lily antibiotics, but by the same token, I really don't want to take time off work to take Lily back to the doctor should she become infected. I'll discuss it with the doctor tomorrow.I must say I'm not as stressed about missing work as I usually am. Kim is the most amazing student teacher. She is also a NNPS substitute which means she can sub for me when I'm out and get paid to do it. Since she is already teaching my students and knows my routine inside and out, as well as knowing my students' quirks, behaviors, etc., I don't have to write any sub plans. I could weep with joy. The worst part of missing work is writing those awful plans. I will drag myself to work rather than write sub plans! I called Kim this evening to apprise her of the situation. I then went over what she should do tomorrow for reading and writing instruction. That was it. Piece of cake!! :o)
I'm still not thrilled about missing any instructional time with my students, especially as I'll be off Friday to be with Brien and his MRI, but having Kim in the room means "real" instruction will still occur and I won't be writing babysitting plans for some substitute. This is definitely the best situation I could ask for if I have to be out!
I've been blogging and posting all the little insignificant events of my life for a year now. In fact, Thursday evening made one year since I started this blog. I was re-reading many of my earlier posts, and discovered something--all those events that seem so insignificant at the time, those events I'm chronicling so I have a record of my children's and my lives, aren't so insignificant at all. All those events add up to one very interesting life! :o)
Though starting my blog I've come into contact with so many others (mostly through Jessie, so thanks!). There's Leila and her life in Haifa. We had some scary moments during the bombings last year, but she and her husband Shaun came through.
There's Bonita. Her writing is simply elegant and simplicity itself. Through her I found her daughters' (well, daughter and daughter-in-law) blogs: Ruhiyyih and Annie. I also try to visit these blogs daily. And how did I find Bonita? I found her through her husband, George's, blog.
Now, interestingly enough, Bonita and George's son and daughter-in-law are in Haifa for pilgrimage and met Leila and Shaun. I was so excited for everyone and felt as if my family were meeting and coming together. Funny thing though, I've never actually met any of these lovely individuals.
There are those who argue the internet as isolated us. It keeps us in our homes and we sit on our duffs and don't interact with those in our own neighborhoods (this is the argument at least). However, I see it another way. Through this amazing medium we're now able to connect with kindred spirits the world over. How amazing is this??
Then of course, there are the family blogs. I'm not sure, but I think Mom may have started blogging because of Jessie and me. I also visit Dani's blog to see how her life in Germany is going. She has visited the coolest places since her move. And of course, there's Ron and Kelly's blog chronicling their preparations and soon to be hike through the Appalachian Trail. I'm able to keep up with what my family are doing through the journaling and documenting they do.
Additionally, I'm able to keep my family and friends updated on what is happening in my life and with the girls. Even if they don't take the time to read the journaling, they are often able to see the pictures of the girls.
This blogging thing goes even further for me. I visit a few mommy blogs daily, through Jessie's blog. I can peek at their lives and see what is happening with their families. I love watching the children grow and change. :o)
For me, the best part of all is being able to go back to reread my posts and see how the girls have changed and how my life has evolved with them in it.
Thank you all for making this a fun and rewarding experience! :o)
Lily has decided to show her love by blowing kisses. If you say, "I love you, Lily" or "I love you" she'll put her hand over her mouth and go, "Mmmmmmmmm-mah!". Too too sweet. She has also added "panz" (pants), "ooze" (shoes), "yez" (yes) and a very emphatic "NO" to her vocabulary. Hannah's levels of smartypants-ness and sneakiness know no bounds. This evening, we were having "choose your own dinner" and Hannah selected mini bow ties alfredo. Lily was having cream of rice and Hannah was very upset she didn't get that as well. I had to make Lil some more for lunch tomorrow and Hannah asked if I make her some as well. I made it, gave it to her and she then decided she didn't want it any more. Not an option; you asked for it, you will eat it. Period. I told her she could eat it for dinner tonight, breakfast tomorrow or lunch tomorrow. She decided to eat it tonight. B and I took Lil up to bed and Han let us know she was finished. When B came down to check it out, she had smooshed and mushed it up all around the sides of the bowl. She finally ate it all.****************************************************Jessie posted the most beautiful tribute to Mom on her blog. Check it out!****************************************************It took a study to figure this out? Finding little girls' clothing that looks like little girls' clothing and not little hoochies' clothing is tough. One of the reasons I love Gymboree and Carter's so very much is because the children's clothing looks like children's clothing. There are no mid-riff baring tops or low slung pants. We don't buy clothing with suggestive phrases anywhere on them. We don't have those god awful Bratz dolls.
I know it seems strange, but I'm trying to keep my little girls and as naive about the world for as long as possible. Sure, they know about gender and the differences in the two, but I see no need for them to know about sex just yet. Procreation, sure. Han and I had that talk when I was pregnant, but there's certainly a difference between that knowledge and being exposed to gratuitous sex and nude images outside the confines of a loving committed relationship.My friend Bridget teaches kindergarten across the hall from me. She has had to close her home living center because the children were pairing up and crawling under the table and tablecloth and doing who knows what. Our kids in the inner-city are overexposed to so many inappropriate things. Children are young for such a short amount of time. It seems a shame to waste that time pretending they're mini-adults and exposing them to sex and dressing them as if they are advertising their bodies and selling favors. As Mom always said, "If you're not selling, don't advertise." Good advice I think.
I feel as if I'm at my wits' ends with Miss Hannah Kate. She is a piddler and very easily distracted from the task at hand. Why you may ask am I a little frustrated this evening? It has to do with Hannah's bedroom and the state it has been in for weeks. I try to avoid going in the room except for bedtime rituals, but it had finally gotten so out of control I couldn't walk without stepping all over stuff.
Now, Hannah certainly didn't need any help making the mess she shouldn't need any help (other than guidance during each stage, such as "clean up the dirty clothes first.", "Okay, now clean up the trash off the floor.", etc.) cleaning it up. Yes, Hannah is only five and she does need direction on what to do so we tell her. The frustration comes in when she doesn't listen, and instead wails--very loudly, frequently disturbing Lil's naps--she needs help. I often don't have the time necessary to sit in her room and direct her step by step and supervise the cleaning. I'm busy taking care of the rest of the house! This evening I went in with three trash bags and a large plastic tub. I told Han it was obvious she had WAY too much stuff and I would help her get rid of some of it. I had warned her anything stuffed where it didn't belong, such as in the closet, under the bed, or in desk drawers (we have found many a missing shoe in those drawers...) would be confiscated and need to be earned back. I filled all three bags with "decorating" items that were more snips and snails than anything else. I also filled the large tub. Hannah knows she will be allowed to choose from one to three items from the tub every evening if her room and bathroom are clean. Meanwhile, I've also instituted "Princess Lessons". Jessie gave Han the most delicious book for Christmas. Hannah has pored and pored over the book and has decided she needs to be a princess. "Princesses don't have to clean their own rooms, Mommy, they have someone to do it for them!" You could almost hear the "So there!" as she spouted this wisdom.Anyhow, I told Hannah we would have a princess party when she learned all four of the most important lessons (lessons I devised, not from the Primer). Lesson One: Listen to grown-ups in your life and follow their directions. Lesson Two: No crying unless you are really hurt. Lesson Three: Be nice to your baby sister. Lesson Four: Take care of your belongings, thereby keeping your room and bathroom clean.Now then, it should be noted Hannah has been trying to earn a "bee yoo tee full" jewelry box for about four weeks now. All she needed to do was go seven days without crying. It didn't have to be seven consecutive days, just seven days. Should this event occur, she would then have an opportunity to earn real, honest-to-goodness jewelry if she went an additional seven days without crying. Now then, Lesson Two states no crying. This would mean Han would not only earn the box, but the jewelry as well. Since she has decided a princess party should include dressing up with make-up and jewelry and fancy clothes and having a tea party, this would certainly help her cause.Here's hoping the enticement of a princess party is enough to keep Han a little more focused and interested in following directions and making better choices. Because, quite frankly, I'm not sure what to try next!!
Why in the world is this or this news?? What about the real news? What is happening in the Middle East? Iraq? North Korea? Why in the world are the first two the top news stories on cnn.com??
Our dear friend Paul's mother passed away this evening, after a battle with cancer. I'm so very sorry for his loss and worry about him. I remember when Papa died I had this overwhelming sense of relief mixed with my grief because he had been SO ill. My heart goes out to Paul and his family and I hope they can find some peace and comfort as they come to terms with their loss. I love you, Paul.
I had a very serious discussion with Hannah this evening and the gist of it is, she doesn't like Lily. I'm not even sure she loves Lily. She doesn't want Lily near her things, she doesn't want Lily to touch her. She doesn't want Lily. Period. Should Lily even try to touch Hannah, she will calmly shrug her off and move away. This isn't just a once-in-a-while thing, this is daily. Hannah resents no longer being the only one. She perceives Lily takes all my time and she gets no time with me (untrue). She says she thinks Lily will touch her things and break them because she's not careful. I don't love her anymore. I only love Lily. Now, the heartbreaking part--Lily absolutely idolizes Hannah. She lives to have Hannah acknowledge her presence. If Hannah were to actually play with her, I think Lily might expire from joy on the spot. I thought I was the only one who noticed Hannah's indifference to her baby sister, until today. Sarah was watching Lily play at Melanie's house. Sarah said she would alternate between playing by herself, and going over to be with Hannah (who was off for a workday). She said when Lily got to Hannah, Han would just calmly, without making a big deal of it, walk away. Now I'm second guessing us (Brien and me). Did we make a mistake having another child? Should we have had the second baby sooner? Where did we go wrong raising such a selfish, self-absorbed child? Hannah will literally shriek should Lily attempt to touch one of her toys or "things", but wants to play with all of Lily's toys. Hannah's only role-model for how to be an older sister is her friend, Kathryn. Kathryn is very mean to her little brother, and always has been. I see much of Kathryn's behavior towards Matthew reflected in how Han responds to Lily. (A quick aside: Han went to Melanie's today because of the workday, but Kathryn still had school. Kathryn developed a "headache" this morning and was allowed to stay home from school. Did I fail to mention there was no fever??)I go out of my way to spend lots of alone time with Hannah--taking her out on special trips, setting aside time to decorate with her, working on small projects in the house. Unfortunately, Hannah doesn't see this. She only sees me fussing at her and not at Lily (if the child would actually listen and follow through on directions and requests...) and that I nurse Lily and spend time with her in the evenings and not with her (even though I go into her room once I've finished with Lily and read to her and snuggle with her in her bed). My heart aches because I desperately want Hannah to love Lily and want to be with her and play with her. But, do I want this because I want so much to be a family and want the girls to get along because I love them so very much, or because Lily is so desperate for Hannah's love and attention?
Have I even managed to explain myself and what I'm feeling??
Today was just one of those days. It wasn't good, it wasn't awful, it just was. Hannah received her flu shot (much to her chagrin), and Lil got her flu booster. B went to the orthopedist and was told he will need an MRI as the shoulder joint is VERY loose. So loose in fact he must be very careful how he holds the shoulder and uses the arm for fear of dislocating it once again. Chances are he will need surgery some time this summer.And, it's official, Jessie, Bob and Ella are heading to Kansas City. To quote Fats Domino:
I'm going to Kansas City
Kansas City here I come
I'm going to Kansas City
Kansas City here I come
They got a crazy way of loving there and I'm gonna get me one
I'm gonna be standing on the corner
12th Street and Vine
I'm gonna be standing on the corner
12th Street and Vine
With my Kansas City Baby and a bottle of Kansas City wine
Well I might take a plane I might take a train
But if I have to walk I'm going just the same
I'm going to Kansas City
Kansas City here I come
They got some crazy little women
there and I'm gonna get me one
I confess to being more than a little maudlin over this even though I knew it was coming. Somehow it's just not fair that now, when Jessie and I are closer than we have been in years that they will be moving so far away. Additionally, I'm so sad the girls will lose opportunities to be together and grow up together. There's nothing like a close cousin, right Robin and Liz? Oh well. On the bright side, new places to go and visit and explore. And, this is such an exciting time for Jessie and Bob I'm not trying to be all doom and gloom. I'm just a little sad, that's all.
Finally, I'd like to share some amazing photos with you all. The talent needed to create these images is mind-boggling. 
See those flowers up there? Something equally beautiful was delivered to my classroom today. The secretary came in my room just beaming, carrying this vase of gorgeous tulips. I thought to myself, "Boy, Kim sure has a wonderful boyfriend," never imagining they were for ME!I had told Brien the other day, "You don't have to get me anything for Valentine's Day. Really. This isn't one of those times when I say it's okay to not get me anything and you had better get me something. Seriously." I thought he had listened. After seven years of marriage, 13 years together as a couple, if I didn't have any clues as to how much B loves me and appreciates me, I'd have set him straight a long time ago.Brien shows me daily how much he loves me. Every morning, even though he doesn't have to, Brien gets up with me, helps me get Lily ready and in the car and then stands in the garage (usually in bare feet) waving me off, even though it's REALLY cold right now. He never objects to helping cook, clean, or take care of the girls. He scratches my back without me asking (oh, sweet heaven!) and never complains about having to remove whatever book I'm reading from my sleeping hands and turn out the light on my nightstand. Nor does he complain about my snoring :oP. I've gotten to a point in my life where a dozen roses, while beautiful, are just too much. They are too flashy, too showy, too exorbitantly expensive. My first thoughts upon seeing those tulips (after thinking how lucky Kim was) was how beautiful and simple the arrangement was. The vase wasn't fussy, the greenery was understated, and the flowers now grace my reading table. I'm overwhelmed as I was expecting nothing other than a card. Thank you Brien for putting up with me and my flawed, temperamental self. Thank you for loving me in spite of everything. Happy Valentine's Day!
Hannah had pleasant dreams for a second consecutive night. I'm hoping our distraction/think of something else routine will continue to work for her. But, as any parent (or teacher for that matter) knows, just because it works once, or even twice doesn't mean it will work a third time. If it comes to pass this solution no longer works we'll try to come up with something else.**************************************************************** Brien took the codeine laced Tylenol last night and slept like a log and the Naproxen seems to take the edge off the pain during the day. He's not doing so well tonight, though. He's currently bundled under a blanket and is rather tired. He says he's having a hard time getting warm. That could be because he isn't doing as much as usual in deference to his arm.*****************************************************************
Lily was in rare form this evening. Hannah was a very fluent little monkey from about 18 months on. By one year Hannah had a speaking vocabulary of about 20 words. By 15 months she was over 50 and most of them were very clear and sounded like the word she was trying to say. We were having conversations by the time she was two. Even then I knew it wasn't normal, but was overjoyed because she was able to express herself and her frustration. Unfortunately, Lily is NOT that verbal. She has a few words such as "eesh eesh" which is slowly morphing into "eese eese". She also has "Day doo" (thank you), "Na NUH" (Hannah), "na na" (banana), "wuh wuh" (woof woof or doggie), "Ma Ma", and "Da DEE". She also has an amazing listening vocabulary and understands most of what we ask her or tell her these days. "Lily, where's Bunny?" will send her scurrying off to find Bunny. "Get your cup, Lil" and she'll toddle off to find it. But, for all that, she isn't nearly as verbal as Han was. Hannah was the Howard Cosell of the backseat. She would give us a running commentary of everything she saw passing by her window. Lily, not so much. So, when she gets angry or frustrated, or wants something that I can't figure out, she screams. Long. Loud. Tantruming. I didn't think it would happen until she was two. Great.Sometimes, if I quietly but firmly say, "Lily, listen" she'll pause long enough for me to try to talk to her and figure out the problem. Other times, well, she just doesn't care. Quite frankly, I don't blame her. Many a day I wish I could just wail my heart out like a toddler. It's excusable in them. Through all this I'm left wondering, what happened to my sweet, peaceful little angel? She is a rambunctious little monkey now, leaving a path of destruction and devastation in her wake. Look out world, here comes Hurricane Lily!! Sure, Lil still likes to sleep--a LOT--but there are other fun pursuits as well. Nothing beats taking all the plastic ware and dragging it throughout the downstairs, or sneakily finding a way past the baby gate at the bottom of the stairs (usually a la Hannah) and tearing off upstairs. And, everyone knows guinea pigs LOVE books and dog toys and shoes. Right? RIGHT???? Hurricane Lil is on the loose!
I'm not sure when it started, but Hannah has been having nightmares almost nightly. Her nightmares revolve around fire. In particular, Hannah being asleep, not hearing the fire alarm and Brien and me leaving her to burn up in the fire. She is severely traumatized by these dreams and will cry before going to bed because she doesn't want to have another "nightmarer". She will lie awake in her bed and she told me her brain "makes me think about fire and I can't stop." Oh, Monkey, my heart bleeds for you! I know the terror of lying awake in bed petrified by my thoughts. Even though in the light of day you know those thoughts are crazy, in the dead of night they are very very REAL. When Hannah was between two and three years old she would have night terrors. She would be crying in her sleep and B and I would take turns going into her room to wake her up, lay down with her and snuggle her until she was asleep and comfortable again. Some nights we couldn't wake her and she would just cry and cry. Recently we noticed Han shrieking in her sleep (it was kind of hard to miss) and crying. She told me she doesn't like to go to sleep because she knows she's going to have those nightmares. I don't blame her. If I knew I was going to have bad dreams I sure wouldn't want to go to sleep either. Last night, it was 10:00 and Hannah was still fighting sleep. I went into her room and asked her what was wrong. She told me, once again, she was scared of fire. When pressed what was it about fire that frightened her she replied, "What if there's a fire and I don't hear the alarm and I don't wake up and you and daddy forget me?" This is the biggest fear of all. Daddy and me forgetting her. Is it because of Lily? Is it subconscious? Is it something deeper than that? I have no answers. What I do have is a great fear for my baby. As a parent you wish you could take all pain and illness away from your child and into yourself. I don't want Hannah to be terrified of the night and sleeping. I laid with her last night trying to reason with her. I should have known better, because as I said before, that which seems illogical during the day can make perfect sense in the dead of night.I told Hannah that often the last thing you think about before falling asleep may be something you dream about. I told her she needed to think of nice, happy, fun things, not fires and getting hurt. We brainstormed a list of ideas to think about and last night Han chose going to Busch Gardens with us and Nana and Pop. This, she told me, is what she dreamed about. Whether or not this is true, at least she didn't dream about fire. Tonight I asked what she was going to think about before going to sleep and she said, "My brain is making me think about fire!" I told her not to listen and to instead think of something fun and she said, "I know! Even though we can't do this for real, I want to go with Lissie and Paul and Aunt Jessie and Uncle Bob and Ella and us. I want to go to Disneyland!" Definitely not nearly as nightmarish as fire (I heard that, Paul!). If you have any suggestions for ways for me to help Hannah, PLEASE let me know!!! I'm contemplating counseling, but I'm still not certain yet.
Lily is finally walking well enough that we thought she could handle wearing shoes. The theory is a baby learns to walk better going barefoot because they can feel the floor under their feet and learn to balance better. Additionally, I prefer going barefoot, as does Hannah, so it stands to reason Lil might also be happier in earth shoes. Now, Lily is walking around like an old pro, and she LOVES to be outside. Since it has been so cold out, Lily has been unable to go out. But, with shoes, I have few objections to Lil spending some time outside. 
We hit the Stride Rite outlet this morning and found these cute shoes. Stride Rite has found a new way to separate parents from their money. They now have 3 "stages" of footwear for babies and toddlers. Stage 1 is for infants. Stage 2 is for "Cruisers" and Stage 3 is "Walkers". 
Technically, Lily should be a Stage 3 girl. But her feet are so tiny they didn't have anything that would fit her comfortably. We wound up going back down to Stage 2. Stage 2 shoes have more flexible soles (Jessie, like those Stride Rite moccasins of Ella's that Lil just adores) than the Stage 3 shoes which have a solid sole like our shoes. Lily prefers the more flexible sole and I don't blame her.
The trip out was fun because Brien managed to dislocate his shoulder last night. He was throwing Holly's ball for her and I heard this god awful noise. It was B's shoulder popping out then back into socket. Nice. He has been in rather excruciating pain, but has a pain threshold to beat any I've seen other than in laboring women. He decided it would be best to go see his PCP, who happens to be a doctor at the local urgent care center. This means he can go to urgent care for only a small co-pay, not the $35+ it usually is. The doctor on call did four x-rays, and gave him a prescription for naproxen and Tylenol 3 with codeine. The Tylenol will be used at bedtime and the Naproxen during the day.
Nana and Pop kept the girls while we went to urgent care. When we came home we went right outside to try out Lil's new shoes. She is quite proud of herself and now that she is used to them she no longer walks like a high-stepping, slew-footed baby. Here are a couple of quick clips of her running around outside.
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Photo Sharing - Upload Video - Video Sharing - Share PhotosI just love how babies walk when they are still not quite sure-footed. :o)
Photo Sharing - Upload Video - Video Sharing - Share PhotosI have come to the realization I can't give my daughters and spouse the love and patience they need in the evenings because I'm so exhausted. I'm tired from the commute to and from work. My students are both emotionally and physically exhausting. I'm up at 5:15 every morning (if I manage to drag my sorry self out of bed without hitting snooze more than twice), out the door between 6:15 and 6:30, at work by 7:30. Now, in addition to my duties to my students, I have a student teacher as well. Kim is wonderful! She is a godsend and it is so wonderful to have an extra set of hands around to work with a small group of students or to anticipate my needs or to be an extra set of eyes and ears. But, it is also extra work. I always want to be my best for my students, but now, I want to be my extra best because I'm trying to model what I think a good teacher does so I can be a good example for Kim. I'm trying to be her cheerleader when she is down, her mentor and her teacher. This is in addition to all my other usual teaching duties. To be fair, Kim is good. She is very good. I had to laugh at myself today. Kim taught an amazing lesson on magnets. The kids were making their own "magnets" from paper clips and bar magnets. They were so actively engaged and were so excited it was fun to watch. And, Kim managed it all beautifully. She taught all the material she wanted to cover, reeled the kids in when they were too out of control and ended the lesson with a bang. It was marvelous. Then, it was over and I moved on, not thinking about the fact Kim was waiting for some feedback from me. She waited 15 minutes before she said, "Well, what did you think?" Oops! Note to self: Tell the student teacher what went well and what needs improvement next time. Give the student teacher feedback! Anyway, I leave school around 3:30 or 4:00, pick up Lily and head for home around 4:00 or 4:30. I get home sometime between 4:45 and 5:15, have to cook dinner, clean the kitchen, pack lunches, clean up Hurricane Lily's disaster areas, get Lil in bed by 7:00, get Han in bed by 8:00 and then have an hour our two for myself. I'm tired. I'm tired of the 45 minute commute to and from work. I'm tired of having little time for myself and even less time for the girls. I don't see Hannah until I get home from work. I spend about three hours with her and then she goes to bed. I miss her. I miss spending time with her. I'm tired of having no time with her. I'm tired of feeling guilty because Brien is working from home when he really needs to be in his office. I'm tired of coming home emotionally wasted from dealing with the various needs of my children. They experience so much in their little lives and sometimes I wonder if I'm equipped to deal with them. I'm tired. I'm just so tired.
Is there anything more enticing to small children and animals than a pile of freshly folded laundry. No sooner had a shooed Wylen out then...
...Holly discovered the basket! I know, I know, if I would just put it away as soon as I fold it, this wouldn't be a problem. Oh, well.
I can't believe I've gone two days without an update! I apologize. I was going to post last night but managed to fall asleep on the couch at 8:45 instead. Who knew having a student teacher could be so exhausting?? Lily continues to walk like some sort of drunken Frankenstein's monster, stumbling through the house, teetering and tottering here and there and everywhere. She will even go running full speed ahead only to stumble and fall. Typically she'll pick herself up and move on. Every once in a while she'll fuss because she's frustrated at falling. 
The other evening, while exploring the house, Lil found the "popcorn popper". You know the toy, the one with the stick and the popping balls as it is walked along? Lily found it, and began walking it all over the house. No one ever showed it to her, nor showed her how to use it. She figured it all out on her own. There is however a downside to this toy--it is VERY noisy!! You can see for yourself below.
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(Here, Mommy, would you like some cereal??)
