I've been spending my time visiting with family and resting. I cannot begin to tell you all how much I appreciate you coming to visit and check in on us! Mom and Paul arrived this evening, much to Lil's delight! :o) The got in around 7:00, we had a bite to eat and then, it was Christmas for a fourth time. Yay!! I'll have to take pictures of all the loot and post them. Lily had the best time with Uncle Paul and Lissie this evening. I'm delighted they are here and am really looking forward to a nice, long visit. I'll try to keep you posted. :o)
This is the view from our "bridge" on Christmas Eve. Our house is open to the ceiling in the family room and the foyer. A strip of flooring/ceiling connects the left side of the house with the right side and Hannah called it the bridge. She liked to stand on the bridge and talk to me as I sat in the living room. Sometimes, when she was supposed to be in bed at night, sometimes she would sneak out of bed and squat on the bridge to watch "TD". Of course, B and I knew what she was up to, but we would pretend we wouldn't and eventually, after about 10 minutes, she would return to bed. Anyhow, the tree and the candles were so beautiful Christmas Eve I just had to have a photo of this view too.
Lily and Brien arriving at the bottom of the stairs Christmas morning. You can see Lil has a menagerie with her in the forms of Connie Bear and Bear (who was once known as "Bearce"). 
This is the kitchen Santa brought. Lil is in love with it! She likes to cook and stir and measure and sprinkle and dish up everything. Today, my new teaching partner came over so we could plan, and Lil cooked for us. She got out two bowls and "dished up" some "ice cream". She told us that's what it was. Smart kiddo. Then, she got a cup and brought it over. I asked, "What's this, Lil?" Her reply? "Coffee!" Even smarter kiddo knowing her Mommy likes coffee. :oP
I can't remember what exactly Lil was pointing at, but I thought the picture was funny/cute.
Lily and the pile of presents. She determined that was her present (thank goodness it actually was ;oP) and tried to move it into the middle of the floor. The fact it was one of those GIANT 24 packs of Play Doh made it super heavy. And, before you all think I have positively lost my mind, we'll only be getting out two containers at a time. Once those two are dried up/used up, we'll get out two more. Lily loves Play Doh above just about anything. She got a passel of cookie cutters to go with the Doh, so life is sweet if you're Lil. Not so much if you're the Mommy who gets to supervise/clean up. 
Mommy and Daddy got a peg board and of course, Lil had to stack them. Being the peanut she is, she climbed on my lap and asked me to steady her so she could stack them as tall as she could. Please note the outfit. Nana and Pop gave Lily a very cute outfit for Christmas. Lil wanted to wear the shirt immediately, but not the pants. So, cute shirt, cute monkey 'jams, but not necessarily cute together. Hee hee. 
Nana gave Pop this fun XM stereo "toy". Lil decided it was the perfect seat for using her new Elmo "laptop". 
Busy girl.
Ah, she has on the matching pants now. Aunt Dani gave Lily the cutest, most beautiful Polish pottery tea set. Lily loved it! Here she's drinking from one of the cups and you can see she used a box as a table for her saucer. 
Ah, Christmas evening at Jen's house. B is wearing Pop's hat and Lydia's earrings. LOL! 
This was taken this evening. Lily has been a wreck (as I think many small kiddos are today) because her schedule has been so out of whack the past few days. She slept in until 9:00 again this morning, didn't go down for a nap until 3:00, was up at 4:30 SCREAMING(!!) and by the time we got home from dinner, exhausted. I said, "Come on, Lil, time for bed" to which she replied, "No, I'm seeping here." Hm. We got her upstairs and she proceeded to scream and fuss for another 30 minutes. Sh finally calmed down around 8:30, poor Little Bit. *****************************************We're hoping to see Grandma and Bill tomorrow evening. Keep your fingers crossed. Grandma has been so ill she was unable to travel until today. I've missed them both and am desperately hoping they are well enough to travel tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed.
Hello all! I know everyone has been very worried (I was even worried about us, myself), but yesterday was fun and beautiful. It was different, it was sad, but it was fun too. Christmas is truly for the children and Lil helped make Christmas wonderful, as did B's sister's kids. We headed out to her house yesterday afternoon/evening and didn't get home until almost midnight! I've been busy with family and today, well, it was all for me. I have a guilty pleasure--I LOVE to read romance novels. I have not been able to indulge in this habit since school began as I've been SO busy. Today, I picked up Eloisa James' latest novel and stayed in my pj's and read all day. It was so wonderful. Lily had a blast playing with her new toys, B was busy with his new toy (a Nintendo DS) and I indulged myself. Ahhhhh.A funny story about that Nintendo DS--it seems great minds think alike. B and I opened our presents to each other simultaneously and inside were identical (and I do mean identical!) Nintendo DS game consoles! We purchased the crimson and black Lite versions for each other! Hee hee! Thank goodness we didn't purchase identical games! :oP He purchased "Flash Focus" for me and I purchased "Brian Age" and "Brain Age 2" for him. Nana had a great time playing with them yesterday too. :o) Mom, I'm sure you're going to LOVE it! The Brain Age programs are supposed to be a workout for your brain. They're pretty cool. :o) Since we got home so late last night I was very worried about Lily. Typically, no matter how late she's up at night, her body inevitably awakens her at 7:00. I expected this morning to be no different. Needless to say, I was pleasantly surprised when 8:00 rolled around and I was only just waking up! It was raining this morning so it was grey and misty and Lil slept in until 9:00. Woo hoo!She was such a good little monkey today. Yesterday she had taken a plastic bag of magnetic letters and dumped them all over the playroom floor. Urg! This afternoon she brought a baggie to me, and inside were all the letters! She had cleaned them up without being asked! It was fantastic. Another interesting note from today, Brien had pulled up starfall.com on the computer yesterday and didn't think much of it. Today, Lil got very VERY quiet, and as anyone with small children knows, quiet=B-A-D news sometimes. He walked in to see what was happening and Lil was sitting at the computer, deliberately clicking on letters and repeating what was being said on the screen! Holy moly! They sure do start young these days!This evening, after a delicious bowl or two of turkey soup at Nana and Pop's, and a rousing game of "De La Madre" (also known as "Dice" in some circles), we headed back home. I took a detour to go tacky lighting and Lily was enchanted. She kept calling out, "A Christmas tree! A Christmas tree!!" and, if we happened to be in a stretch with no Christmas lights, trees or not (it seems all Christmas lights are "Christmas trees") Lil would cry out rather plaintively, "A Christmas tree, Mommy!" Our quick detour turned rather long as we went on a long tacky lighting drive. Lily sure did enjoy herself, though! :o)*************************************Sparklies:1. Turkey soup. Mmm mmm good. :o)2. Reading all day. Ahhhhh. I needed that!3. Lil is just too funny!4. I got a runner and door rug to match my new area rug. Yay!5. The DS's are too much fun. :oP6. All the fantabulous "aChristmas trees!"7. Family. There is nothing more important. Truly.Milestones:1. Christmas, obviously. It was as awful as I had feared. It was sad in many ways, yet it was also a time of rejoicing. We were all able to get together and there are always Hannah stories to share and remember. Since Hannah lived as fully as she did, there are always always stories to share. And, no one is afraid of making us sad or of making us cry so we all share these stories freely. We laugh and joke and tease just like we always did. We missed her, but in so many ways, she was there with us. It was wonderful and so bittersweet. Thank GOD for family and friends. I thank God. 2. Tacky lighting for the first time this season without Han. Boy I miss her exuberance at the truly spectacularly tacky house. Lil just isn't quite there yet, but she did prove that there is great potential. :o)*******************************I hope to have Christmas pictures up tomorrow. Thank you all for your kind thoughts and prayers and words. You are all WONDERFUL! Merry Christmas, everyone! :o)
This is the sparkly little tree I found that I knew Hannah would LOVE. I had to have it, especially as it is a "Tinker" tree. For those of you not in the know, that would be Tinker Belle the fairy. I am going to start putting it out every Christmas Eve in memory of the Monkey. It is so odd to be doing so many familiar Christmas Eve things, but without her. Lily and I made monkey bread (we assemble it the night before so all I have to do is pop it in the oven in the morning), something the Monk always helped with on Christmas Eve. I couldn't get it together enough to make cookies though. This no Hannah thing is really awful. I'm making the best of it, or trying to anyway. 
Hee. Miss Lil put on this bib and REFUSED to take it off. You can see her fun little penguin shirt hanging out underneath. 
Lily was enchanted with "The Polar Express". I also wanted to get a photo of my gorgeous tree. 
Ah, the tree well illuminated.
My new area rug. I just LOVE it! 
Yet another odd thing, hanging four stockings knowing only three will be filled. We hung Lil's on the "L" for "Lily", just like Hannah always directed. Hannah's stocking is on the "O" for "halo". B and I just took the other two because that's where we happened to be standing.
I always light candles in the evenings during the colder months. However, on Christmas Eve, I light extra candles. It's just beautiful and fragrant in my house right now.
Yes, it's fuzzy, but it was very hard to take a photo with no flash with Lil in my lap wriggling around. 
And, finally, my tree. Again. I'm in love with this little tree. B and I are going to sit in the living room with the lights off, playing "Scrabble" whilst drinking a nice white wine. Of course, this will be done only after the last gifts are wrapped, Lil's kitchen assembled, the rolls made (I'm playing with yeast, ya'll!) and the kitchen cleaned. So, I'm thinking we'll get to the "Scrabble" sometime after midnight. :oP I wish you all a very Merry Christmas full of time spent with loved ones. Hugs to each and every one of you. :o)
Wow! It's been a hectic day today! Yesterday was spent being sluggish and lazy, playing WoW with Brien and just taking it easy. So, I paid for it today. The list of things I accomplished is amazing! I boxed up ALL the tiny baby clothes and all other clothing Lil has outgrown that had been thrown in laundry baskets and bags in her closet. I clean out the guest room closet and reorganized. I cleaned Lil's room. I cleaned and weeded out the play room. We cleaned the living room. I got a new area rug for the living room and it looks divine. I sorted through and made a list of all the gifts my students gave me (so I could do thank you notes later). We determined which toys are too young for Lil and boxed them up to be put away for the future. I also made a HUGE pile of items to donate after Christmas. I began sorting through and weeding Hannah's toys. That was tough, but, I was ruthless. I'm in a nesting sort of mood and it had to be done! I determined I was holding on to a lot of her "stuff" because of the memories associated with it, not because Lil could ever use it. The memories are in my heart and I'll always have them, I don't need things to have those memories. However, I didn't tackle Han's room. It's still too soon, and you know what, that's okay.Now, I'm sure you're wondering about the fancy lights up there. Last night we met Brien's sister and her family in Richmond for dinner and a tour of the Lewis Ginter Botanical Gardens. They do the most amazing light show! We walked around the outside in the chill and then inside as well, to stare in awe at the orchids and other live plants that are all so gorgeous. The pictures that follow were taken sans flash, hence the blur. Additionally, my camera's battery bit the dust before we had gone even half way, so B's sister lent me her camera. I'll have those photos after Christmas. 
We were greeted with this fantabulous butterfly as soon as we made it outside. That was one of many signs for us that Hannah was there with us. :o)
Yet another butterfly.
I could just see the Monkey skipping and twirling through this tunnel of lights. I could see her dancing along giggling and laughing her sweet little Hannah laugh as she ran through the lights. 
A section of chain link fence was woven with these flower lights in yellow, red and pink. 
Some of the many many trees all decked out. 
I tried desperately to get a non-blurry photo. I HAD to have the flamingos and alligators. Oh, well. :oP
This peacock was simply spectacular. I took a number of photos with Jen's camera as well. 
And, another butterfly. They are absolutely everywhere last night! :o)
Whenever I see one of these benches now I call them "Hannah benches". If you go into my June archives, you'll see a wonderful photo of Hannah sitting on just such a bench. She just loved it. :o)
We brought Lil's jams (they are indeed Nick and Nora, Karen!) and robe with us so she could sleep in the car on the way home. She and Pop both conked out before we had been on the road 20 minutes. ;o) ****************************************This evening, as I was finishing Lil's closet, I found this red piece of paper. It had a piece of tape on it so I put it on B's nose, per the directions. 
I remember Han giving this to us last year and I had no idea we had saved it. I see her sweet little handwriting and the thing is, right now, I feel rather disconnected from it. Does that make sense? I see it, and I'm once again numb. I think I'm trying to protect myself from the coming days, and you know what, that's fine. Whatever it takes to get through is all that matters right now. This Christmas is about Lily and making it through without the Monkey. If I manage those two things I'll have accomplished something HUGE.**************************************I took these pictures at Lissie's request. It's tough for me to be away from Jessie, Bob, Ella, Lissie and Paul this Christmas. I need to do Christmas in my own house this first year and just do it. However, it's very hard to be away from my family, and I'm horribly jealous knowing they are all together. That, and they have SNOW! Boo hoo hoo. I'm terribly selfish and want my cake and to eat it too. I want my family and my other family (Nana and Pop and Grandma and Bill and B's sister and her family) all together. Family is SO important this time of year. Anyhow, Lissie is missing Lil, so these are for her. 
Lil in the bath. Hee!
One of my students gave Lily this towel for Christmas. The gift was wrapped but I was told, "She doesn't have to wait until Christmas. Let her open it now!" Okay. Now I see why. :o)
I love the little Santa hat on the towel. Okay, that and Lil and B snuggling. :o)
Hee hee. What a towel! :o)***********************************Today's (and yesterday's) Sparklies:1. The towel. :oP2. The beautiful lights at the botanical gardens.3. Sparkles abounded last night.4. My house. Ah. There is nothing better than sitting in a clean house, knowing you have cleaned and cleaned and everything is in apple pie order. 5. Tomorrow is Monday and I get to sleep in. Okay, not really, but I don't have to go to work. ;oP6. The new rug in the living room is just GORGEOUS!7. Sight speed is divine for seeing family when you can't be with them.8. Lily is such a little stinker! You should hear some of the sentences that child is putting together!Today's (and yesterday's) Milestones:1. So, the Lewis Ginter Botanical Gardens is the place Sarah and I were originally going to go the day Hannah died. We missed getting the tickets so I suggested the beach instead. Imagine my surprise upon realizing where we were going last night. When we were there I knew Hannah would have loved it so SO much. I was sorely tempted to play the "What If" game, but I gave myself permission a couple of months back not to play that game, so I let it go. 2. I'm wrapping presents and none of them are for Hannah and that really really stinks. I know that is why I have been putting off the wrapping. :sigh:************************************Alrighty, I'm off to wrap and go to bed. I've got a TON of papers to grade tomorrow. I promised the kids I'd have grades posted by tomorrow night (what the heck was I thinking?????).
Brien and I like to play World of Warcraft together and were doing so yesterday. In fact time got away from us (which is, unfortunately, fairly common...) and we completely missed getting the house clean during Lily's nap.Anyhow, one of the modes of transportation in the game is to fly on a griffon to distant places. You arrive at your destination and are booted off the critter. Yesterday, on my screen, I was booted. Yesterday, on B's screen, I was still on the griffon. I was flying around on this creature, fighting, etc. The best part for me was I play a druid who can shape shift into a cat or bear. I was able to do both while still on the griffon and B took pictures. Hee hee. 
Yes, I realize this has no meaning for most of you, but I found it very amusing. I figured you WoW players out there would find it fun as well. :o)That's B's character in the foreground and his character's pet. 
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As for this shot, B found it in the folder with the other pictures. It was taken July 18th and has a HUGE blue butterfly in it. He and I were both given the chills as we have come to view that as a symbol/sign for/of/from Hannah. Again, those are our characters in the picture. *************************************For now, I'm off to clean the house (I have junk EVERYWHERE!), do LOADS of laundry, make gift tags, clean Lil's room and closet, organize her clothing (that is too small), make a grocery list, grade papers, and clean the play room and dining room. Whee. Oh, yes, wrap gifts too. :sigh:Merry Christmas everyone! :o)
