Thursday, January 03, 2008
This post may turn out rather disjointed, and I apologize in advance. The Orange Bowl is on and my Hokies are playing. I'm currently disgusted with the commentators as they spout anything they can to fill the air.
Anyhow, this post is dedicated to Paul. I'm not sure what it is about him, but children seem to instinctively LOVE him. Hannah adored him from the time she was an infant. He's Ella's best buddy, and now, Lily has fallen under his spell.
Paul is patient and kind, very soft spoken and calm with the kiddos. He will sit with them and get right on their level and the girls just respond to it. This afternoon, when Lil and I arrived home from work, I sat at the table to do some work, Lissie was working as well. Lily found Uncle Paul and sat him on the couch next to her while she used her Elmo laptop. She then found a book for him to read with her.
Having received a phone call from Aunt Jessie telling me how much Ella loves her Bilibo, I thought to get Lily's out. That's when the fun really began...:oP
Lil sat in the Bilibo and had Uncle Paul spin her and spin her. She would laugh and laugh and shriek, "Fly me again!!" She loves to "fly" in her Bilibo! :o)
Lil is so in love with her Uncle Paul! Look at that smile! It has been so wonderful having him here. I miss him so dreadfully when he is gone. I know England is where he currently resides, but I honestly feel his home is here in the US with us. He misses so much when he's away from us, and coming home to visit only once a year just isn't enough for me.
Yes, I'm selfish. As far as I know, Paul is blissfully happy in the UK, living with his "real" family. However, I feel we're his "real" family and he just needs to be here with us. He needs us and we need him. Oh, how I desperately wish there were some way for him to come home to stay. :sigh:
I keep telling Paul he could come and be our au pair. We would provide room and board and a monthly salary, but for some reason he won't bite...;oP
The rest of the pictures that follow are of Paul and Lily being all chumby on the couch with her laptop and book.
Hee! Look at that face! :o)
In other news, Christmas Break was officially over today. Waking up and going to work this morning was very hard. It's funny, I expected to have a down yo on Christmas Eve, on Christmas Day, on any day during break, and you know what, it never happened. I was at home, surrounded with family and Hannah. I was able to relax and not worry about work. I was so worried about being home for an extended period of time without the Monk, and it was all for naught.
Instead, today was my day of Hell. There were many up moments as I enjoyed being with the kids again, hearing about their adventures over break. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Lola, my new co-teacher! It was wonderful to be back with my coworkers. Yet, it was so difficult to go to work. I made it through break only to be smacked this morning. My typical pattern has been to make it through the days that are destined to be difficult with grace and ease and to then crash the next day. I was surprised when that didn't happen this time around. I was fine Christmas Day, I was fine the day after. I was fine New Year's Eve. I was fine New Year's Day. How surprised was I this morning to realize I wasn't fine?
Anytime there is a change in routine, I founder. I was near tears multiple times today, and I confess, I'm not in the best frame of mind right now. Having had a down yo, combined with the poor playing of the Hokies and the crappy commentating, I'm getting angrier by the moment. Why oh why must the commentators say such stupid things?? Even hearing their voices at this moment is causing my ire to rise.
In years past, I've gotten hot under the collar when the Hokies play poorly, I've gotten upset at the commentary, but I confess, I can't seem to corral my emotions this year. Objectively, I know this is "just a game". Yet, somehow, for me, it has become something more. I think my emotions are so close to the surface that it takes very little to move me one way or another. I'm such a rabid Hokie and I get embarrassed when my team looks so shabby on national TV. I know it's only the second quarter but I'm honestly so upset by this I feel like crying. Isn't it crazy how we let something so insignificant become so important. Seriously, will Tech winning or losing this ball game have any impact on the world? Nope. Why is this so important to me? Why?
1. Lola. Yay!!!
2. The kids were so fun today. I enjoyed their stories so much. :o)
3. Lily and her silly laugh while spinning in the Bilibo.
4. I have cooked dinner for five consecutive days. Wow! Dinner tonight was pork chops, homemade mashed potatoes and gravy, roasted broccoli with parmigiano reggiano cheese, and salad with avocado, green onion and tomatoes. Mmmmmm.
5. I gained no weight over the holidays, even with all the CRAP I ate! Yay!!
6. I have glutted myself on college football over the past week and it has been wonderful. Ahhhh.
7. Paul and Lissie are still here and will be through the weekend. I can't describe how comforting it was to know Lissie and Paul were at home waiting for me today.
8. Speaking of Lissie and Paul, those two wonderful souls had my counters and kitchen and living room clean when I got home today. It was wonderful!!
1. It only just occurred to me today that I have officially begun a new year without Hannah. For the first time since 2002, I've begun a new year and the Monkey's not physically a part of it. Yes, she's with me spiritually, and yes, she will always be a part of me, but I miss her so very much.
2. I reached the mid-way point of the school year today. We officially began the second semester today. I'm going to make it through this year, this terrible, horrible, no good, very bad year. I'm going to make it. For those of you who don't know, I always think of my years in terms of the school year. My life has revolved around the school calendar for as long as I can remember. My mom was a teacher so we went to daycare when she went back to work. Then, of course, there was my public school career. Even during college, I still began school in August and ended in May. Then, I started teaching. For me, a new year begins in August with the start of a new school year. I know it sounds odd, but there it is. So, for me, getting through this school year will be getting through one of the worst years of my life.
I'm currently in one of those breathless, aching moods. I'm sitting here wondering how in the world I'm going to get through the next few hours, let alone the next few days, weeks, months or even years. These waves of grief are so overwhelming at times.
P.S. Haylee, your story touched me more than I could ever tell you. I had to include it as it's own, special sparkly. Thank you for sharing your story with us! :o)