Sunday, April 13, 2008
Signs of Spring or Saturday at the Farmers' Market
Saturday morning dawned clear and GORGEOUS!! I got up and made the delicious oatmeal scones and then we all got dressed and headed to DOG Street for the Farmers' Market. I can not begin to tell you how excited I was to be at the FM once again! :o) It doesn't "officially" open until next month, this was one last "holiday" market and boy was it wonderful!
As I have mentioned many times before, daffodils are without a doubt, one of my favorite spring flowers. They are so sunny and happy and they just smell like spring. This vendor was selling bunches of 20 for $3 or 3 bunches for $7. I splurged and purchased 6 bunches!! I have 120 daffodils in my house and it smells like heaven. :o)
As you can see, they sold as many varieties of daffodils as you can imagine. They were quite busy as I saw SO many people carrying daffodils. The booth was like the fishes and loaves--every time I was sure they would be out, they had MORE!
The landscaping along DOG Street was lovely and spring-y as well.
Not all of my favorite vendors were present yesterday, which is to be expected. After all, what produce is there to sell beyond flowers and some winter greens? However, one of my favorites is a mother and her adult (late 40's I think) son. This gentleman has autism and is mute and deaf, but oh, my what talent he has with plants. It truly believe he has an evergreen thumb. :o) He and his mother are at every FM, selling bonsais, potted plants, wreathes, etc. He grows them and arranges them and his mom sells them. You know you are watching a master when you observe him working.
Here is one of my bundles of daffodils. Ahhhh. :sniff:
These were also at the booth with the autistic man and his mother. Aren't they lovely? I confess I've never been successful planting tulips and having them grow. They're just bulbs for Pete's sake, but I can't seem to manage it. :sigh:
Miss Bit and her stroller. She was a mighty fancy princess Saturday parading down DOG Street. ;o)
We stopped to listen to the music and Lil needed to dance with her daddy.
Then she needed, "A-up me, Daddy. Peese!"
I didn't purchase anything from this vendor, but I LOVED the pussy willows and twisted branches. They are so unique and I could see them in my house in all sorts of places. I'm kicking myself for NOT purchasing them.
One of my favorite vendors, Double A Pork Farm was there. They sell the most wonderful pork and chicken (organic!) products as well as eggs. Ahhhh, good, scratch farm eggs. There is nothing like them. They have the richest yolks you have ever seen and make everything they are used in have a creamy appearance. If you've never tried farm eggs, you are really missing out.
I was delighted to see Linda and Ronnie and asked if they had any eggs. I purchased two dozen, and then asked if they had any bacon. Ronnie looked up and said, "Yes, Ma'am! Where's your little one today?" May I just tell you how wonderful it is to be recognized and remembered? :o)
The dogwood trees and redbud are beyond stunning this year. In fact, I can't remember a more dazzling spring, truth be told. This dogwood has the most elegant shape and was smothered in blossoms. (Too bad I had to get the truck in the photo...)
While I'm so achy with not being able to share all this beauty with Hannah, I can't help but wonder if she's not helping put her decorating touch on the bounty of beauty this year. It makes my heart hurt just a little less thinking this.
This is my friend Kristine's yard. The phlox are absolutely dazzling! :o)
This tulip is in Kristine's garden. I loved the deep color of it--so non-traditional.
I fear our little forest pansy redbud isn't going to flower much this year. So far, these are its only blooms. :o( I'm holding out hope it will surprise me. :fingers crossed:
And, one final sign of spring here in eastern Virginia--pollen. The stuff. Is. EVERYWHERE! In fact, if you look closely under the table and beyond it, you will see it in the cracks and crevices of the decking. It's so thick on my car (which is parked in the garage every day) I wrote Lil's name in it. It was covered sitting under the pine trees at work. UGH! I was standing in carline the other afternoon trying to determine where this cloud of smoke was coming from, only to realize it was a billowing cloud of POLLEN from the pine tree overhead! I've NEVER seen pollen like that. Ever!
1. Lissie was here and once again we had SOOOO much fun! :o)
2. Lily is back to her vibrant, funny little elf self. Whew. :o)
3. Waylen is beginning to perk up a bit. Another whew.
4. The FM was absolutely delightful! I swear, it is one my favorite Saturday activities. I could go and people watch for hours and hours. Okay, people and dog watch. I'm going to devote a post to the dogs of DOG Street some day. (For those who don't know, DOG Street is Duke of Gloucester Street in Williamsburg. It runs from the W&M campus to the House of Burgesses--1 mile long. )
5. The little boxes of cards I made this weekend. They are SO sweet. :o)
6. Scones. Ah. The scones make such a delightful breakfast, especially when spread with lemon or lime curd from Williams-Sonoma. Mmmmm.
7. The Bee Gees and Air Supply--without a doubt, the BEST card making music. Followed closely by a Bee Gees radio station on Pandora. ;o)
8. Lily's finger and toe nails were polished today. Ooo la la, what a diva she is turning out to be! ;o)
I'm not sure why, but I have felt Hannah's absence so very keenly this weekend. It is all so very real that she is gone. I know she's gone, but you know, she's GONE! I don't know how to explain it. On a very reasonable and logical level I know she's gone and that she's not coming back, but then, there are these moments of utter clarity and I know she's not coming back. Forever. Do you have any idea how long a time forever is? There are times when I'm okay. I'm fine. I'm moving on and well, it's happening whether I wish for it to or not. Then, there are other times when I have NO idea how I'm going to go on one more moment without Hannah. As I'm typing this, Jim Croce's "Photographs and Memories" is playing. Talk about bittersweet. The tone and music really convey how I'm feeling right at this moment.
Again I'm back to this: How is it possible she's gone? How could all tangible physical traces of my sweet, precious first born baby be gone? I was playing the "beat-myself-up game" this afternoon. Poor Hannah. I fussed at her for so many things that she didn't deserve to be fussed at for. She was reprimanded for using "my" washcloths instead of hers. How dare she move something without being asked.
Looking back on it, it seems all I did was fuss at her, that she was continually in trouble. The saddest part, is she would get in trouble for things that seem so STUPID! Of course, typically, she wasn't fussed at the first time she did something, it was when she did it again. And again. So, maybe, I was fussing because I was trying to get her to understand she had to follow directions and listen to adults, not so much for the action that had been committed, but because she committed the deed after being expressly told not to, repeatedly.
After all, the role of a good parent is to parent. We have to make sure children listen to adults and respect their wishes, even if they don't seem to make much sense to the child. I'm not suggesting blind obedience is called for, more an understanding there are rules and requirements for many purposes, even if they aren't always understood.
All of this insight still doesn't ease the pain of regret, nor the pain of missing the Monkey. The pain becomes more bearable with every passing day. "Normal" has been redefined not to include Hannah and life and time keep marching on. I would HATE to miss a moment of that life, even the pain of it, because it is so very precious and dear, and ultimately, short.
To that end, I'm going to work more towards not focusing on the regrets, but on the joys of life with the Monkey. I need to LIVE as she would have lived and as she would want me to. That is my focus and my goal.
P.S. If you are interested and haven't seen them yet, you should scroll down and take a look at the cards I made this weekend.