You know, it's rarely a good sign when someone starts with that phrase. But, it's true, I have been thinking--thinking hard, actually. Jessie's recent post about Ella and Jesus really struck me. How DO we learn about Christ? Jessie and I learned at Sunday School and I don't remember attending before the age of six or so, so did I know about Jesus? Did I know about God? I'm sure we knew a little something because we had a Christmas story book and Jessie always wanted to be the Virgin Mary when she was wrapped up in her towel after her bath. But, how do you know what it means? When do you figure out what it's all about? I still don't know, I still don't completely understand. Can we fully understand? Am I even able to articulate what is in my heart and head?
Some things I do know:
1. God truly truly loves us. I know this because he sent His Son to save us. Losing a child hurts. It is a pain that is indescrible. He set Himself up for excruciating pain for us. I don't think I truly understood what a sacrifice this was until I lost Hannah. I mean, I knew, but I couldn't really comprehend the depth of it.
2. I haven't even scratched the surface of my understanding of the Catholic faith. I had a long chat with a good friend this afternoon. He is so strong in his faith and helped clarify a number of things for me.
3. Each person's religious journey is their own. It is none of my business where anyone else is on their path to God. Christ said, "Judge not lest ye be judged" and there is much wisdom in that.
4. I want to be a follower of Christ, not just an admirer.
5. There is something to be said for continuing on your journey of faith with a group of like-minded people. Yes, you need to maintain your own identity, but you can learn more from one another than you can learn on your own.
6. You have to approach your religious journey intentionally and with purpose. You have to set aside the time because otherwise, life just gets in the way.
7. My faith in God is just as solid as it has ever been. God has a purpose for Hannah, and for me. I need to live my life fully to try to live up to whatever that purpose is.
I'm just not sure how it all comes together for me. :sigh: I'm off to explore this. We've done Protestant churches and now, I think it may be time to check out some Catholic churches. I teach in a Catholic school, Brien and Nana are Catholic, and Jessie's checking into it. There is SO much I really don't know about the faith and I confess, I'm intrigued--I want to understand, I want to know more. Most of what I know I've gleaned from attending Mass with B and friends, and from school. I'm not saying I'll convert, but I need to figure out what it is I need to know in order to move forward in this journey. We will be attending Mass this Sunday. I'll let you know how it goes.
*************************************
Today's Sparklies:
1. Nice long chats with friends. Thanks, Will! :o)
2. Thursday Night College Football.
3. Whatever Night dinners.
4. Memories.
5. Burt's Bees lip balm. It is most definitely that time of year. :oP
No Milestones.
**************************************
Well, a grammar quiz looms large on my horizon--as in, I need to create the darn thing. Oy. Tomorrow's Friday and then the weekend! Hooray! Happy weekend, everyone! :o)
21 comments:
Let me know how it goes! I've got some great book recommendations if you want to read theological arguments that support Catholicism.
This site is also a great resource, the forums are quite interesting to read as well:
http://forums.catholic.com/index.php?
And, of course, my sponsor's blog:
http://www.conversiondiary.com/
Last, I am emailing with a friend who is a conservative Protestant minister in Georgia, a Lutheran. His viewpoint is great to give balance to my studying Catholicism. I am already forwarding the emails (with permission!) to Rachel, I would be more than happy to cc you in too.
xxoo
Wow, you are doing some deep thinking! I think it is easy to know Jesus but impossible to understand everything about Him. It is less about the specific religion and more about the relationship we have with Him that matters. He is love and He wants us to love others and see them through His eyes.You will find the church you feel comfortable in. Good luck and God bless!
Rachael,
As one person of faith to another, I have seen in your blog posts how the Lord has drawn you over the past year, and even before then, I am sure.
I was raised in the Catholic faith, and my parents still attend that church...since my mom retired many years ago, she has attended weekly Bible Study Fellowship in our city. For the first time in her life, she learned the Bible, how to read, study and apply it to her life. Let me tell you, that has changed (as in refined) an already devout and faith-filled woman of the Lord.
While I did not stay with that same faith, it certainly rooted me in many great things; the holiness and sacredness of God the Father, Son and Spirit --- and many others.
I will continue to pray for you on this journey -- it, is, indeed, a priority and wonderful part of life. Blessings,
Your number one, under "some things I do know," flooded my eyes with tears. Thank you so much for that precious remark, for "follower vs. admirer," and the rest of the list which is also great too.
I am Protestant, but I deeply appreciate Catholic social thought. And I absolutely agree with everything Mommy Jess just said ... It is all about the person of Christ, and in different seasons of our lives there are different fits in different places of worship. Amen to learning together, to loving without judging, and to seeking His face among all kinds.
I serve gang-involved youth, and I find Him there in their midst every single day.
Good luck in your journey. Kids, life, experiences and time just starts making you think more, doesn't it?!? I've been a believer and I consider myself a Christian and follower of Christ; however, church attendance since I began college many years ago has been less than stellar. I took the kids to a different Church last Sunday and Jemma loved it. She has been talking about going back to church all week! She may just be the motivator to get us back into a church! :)
I hope you have a relaxing weekend-I'll be thinking about you! You're always in my prayers. Hugs!
*delurking*
Also, don't forget the most simple way to learn how to be a follower of Jesus, which is reading His Word. It's so easy for Bible reading to fall by the wayside with our busy schedules, but it really is worth making an appointment with yourself to read and reflect on The Word each day. This provides a relationship that is often difficult to find in a religious organization.
Being with other believers is crucial, but being in The Word and conversing with God is equally crucial. Put the social aspect and the personal study/prayer time together and you have an awesome combination! :)
Rachael, as Christians we are not to measure ourselves up to anyone but Christ Himself. You are so right on when you said "a follower, not an admirer". To follow Him we must worship Him, that is what we were made for. I grew up in a Methodist church and my hubby grew up Catholic. We are now serving in a Baptist church and our relationship with Christ has never been stronger. I encourage you to find a church that wants you to actually bring a bible to the service! How do we know what we're being taught is the truth unless we can follow along. Also there is a great book by Beth Moore called A Woman and her God. I'll be praying for you as always.
Terena
Hugs.
Good luck on your faith journey! I'm on one, too, but I suspect it is a permanent journey rather than a search for a destination. I am a practicing Catholic, more or less, but have lost most of my faith in the dogmatic aspects of the religion. Am raising the kids in the church nonetheless, but this often gives me pause, esp. to be raising a girl in an institution that I see as fundamentally sexist. It isn't an easy thing, the path toward faith. I find that there are just things I KNOW in my heart. Like the idea of eternal life, and our ultimate wisdom and reunification with the rest of the universe. I think we're all on a different path, but all the paths end up in the same great place. I don't think I could make any sort of sales pitch for any particular religion or faith path over any other, and the obligation to do so is one of the things that continues to drive a wedge between me and organized Christianity. I can't tolerate fundamentalism in any form, and sometimes that gets in the way of being Catholic. But I love the church in ways that are so much a part of myself that I cannot consciously choose to go out and be something else. I tried the Episcopalian thing in my 20s. I just couldn't do it. I'm Catholic. I'm probably a terrible Catholic, but so be it. I go to Mass (*most* weeks), and sometimes I get furiously angry, and sometimes I'm so moved by the beauty of it all -- the ritual, the ideas, the sense of global community -- that I just sit and weep through the songs. I don't think I believe in the kind of God that would punish anyone for not knowing the right way to worship, kwim? I think God is so much bigger than we are, so much better, so beyond our frame of human understanding. So that's where I am with all of this.
This type of inquiry is so valuable. For me theology is a very mixed bag, but I do know that the important question for me is "how can I best serve the purpose of God in this day?" That allows a personalized, action-based approach. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy in a way. What we love, we become.
This is an exciting post. I'm commenting from the perspective of someone who chose my own faith as an adult (I was raised protestant but converted to Judaism) and there are few things in my life that compare to that in terms of the empowerment it afforded me. I hope you find something wonderful at the end of your journey. You're bound to.
Just want to add that the Catholic parish I attend utilizes the Bible and Scripture constantly. I have no idea where the idea that Catholics don't use the Bible originated from but that has not been my experience!
Like any spiritual decision, where to worship is one that can take time. Different parishes have their own identity and trying a few to find one that you feel comfortable and happy in is important.
Keep me posted!
Try going to mass on campus at William and Mary. It's usually a pretty laid back ground and the sermons are geered towards people who might be questioning their faith. It also tends to approach religion a little more intellectually giving good background for why the church believes certain things. Just a suggestion.
Thanks, Anny! :o)
deep thinking really helps :)
HI-
I recently converted to Catholicism (sp). My husband was raised Catholic and we got married in the Catholic church which meant we promised to raise our children as Catholics so I converted so we would all be in this together (it only took me 10 years!) I have to say that I am glad I did it for many reasons. The RCIA classes are really good and I learned so much. I feel good when I am on the church grounds - I know alot of that has to do with the people in our parish but I just feel like I am in the right place for me. I have never felt like that before (I was raised Presbyterian). I really like the ritual aspect and the discipline. I wish you luck in your journey.
Debra
Dana, I loved your comment and, Sharon, I have to agree about Bible Study Fellowship. My mother, father, grandmother, and grandfather were all avid BSF-goers and leaders (my mother again, currently). It really is a wonderful program.
I agree with the comment about W&M. I've been a Catholic since I was 12 and go to mass every weekend. I've lived in a lot of places, and while I generally love living in W'burg, the one thing I really don't like at all is the Catholic churches here. I can't say that I find the W&M mass particularly inspiring either, now that the former Pastor left, but it is the best of a mediocre lot, so I encourage you to try it first.
Heh - Jess is working on me, too! Just know you are not alone! My own journey has been so exhilarating and exciting. I have FINALLY let go of the reigns and it is so exciting to delve into God's word every day and see waht He has to say to me. Things I grew up with knowing are new and wonderful - it's so strange...
Great post, Rach. Some great writing here on an important topic of the heart, soul, and life!
Post a Comment