I can't seem to find my groove this week. Being off routine this weekend, the chaos and upheaval the death of a loved one brings, starting my week in the middle of it, all this has me out of sorts. The rhythm of my life has been disturbed and I can't seem to pick it up.
There was no menu planning Friday night, no grocery shopping Saturday, no meals planned for the week. Yesterday's report cards issue (combined with the need to create four reading tests tonight) combined with the lack of a plan has left me not cooking. I feel bereft somehow. I love to cook and yet, haven't felt the desire to do so this week. I'm giving myself permission to take this week off and get back on the wagon next week. Things should be "normal" (whatever the heck that means any more) this weekend which in turn should lead to a "normal" week next week.
I would like to try and get my raised beds built and put together this weekend. I would like to take a hike with my family. I would like to do my cleaning and laundry and grocery shopping. I want to do all the minutiae of my daily life that ordinarily seems so mundane. And yet, without this "normalness" and focus on the nitty gritty, I'm left struggling to make it through the week as I usually would. It truly is the small moments that coalesce to form the big picture that is my life. Who knew?
With 9+ hours in the car both ways this past week/weekend, I had a lot of time to think. One of my big topics was families and how things seem so different today. When I was a child, I ran the mountains, searching out fossils, conducting experiments with wild onions and the creek, catching crawdads, experiencing nature. It was wonderful! Life was full of imaginative play and I was left to entertain myself. Prior to high school, I had very few extracurricular activities (Brownies when I was in 1-3 grades, gymnastics at the rec center on Saturdays (one session only)) but never felt as if I was missing out on anything. I LOVED to be outside, I LOVED to read, I LOVED to play with Jessie and our friend Pam. We had family dinner every night and rarely, if ever, ate out. There was "study hour" after dinner and then time spent playing with Mom. We would play card games such as spit, rummy, gin or variations on double solitaire. Those times were so precious to me and it never occurred to me to want anything more.
I feel like an old codger waxing rhapsodic about the "good old days", and yet, they truly were good days. Golden, halcyon days. I don't think I could have asked for a better childhood. What child doesn't long for the freedom to explore their environs and create their own utopia out of sight of adults? Ahhhh.
1. It's March Madness, baby!
2. The weather today was SO beautiful--up until dismissal that is. ;o)
3. My friend Julie was the recipient of two wonderfully glorious gifts today and I'm utterly overjoyed for her! :o)
4. My report cards were posted "ready" when I got to work this morning, even though I had until 4 this afternoon to do them. Whew!
5. My mom made it safely back to NC, thank goodness.
6. Laptop computers are such a wonderful thing!
7. Lil and I are going on another "Spring Hunt" this weekend. Wish us luck! :o)
I haven't spoken with GF today, but I'm hoping Tabby Abby has settled in and is becoming just the companion GF needs. Fingers crossed. Also, my friend Rachel's little girl, Lucy, just had some very major surgery. If you could take a moment to send some positive vibes and prayers her way it would be wonderful.