I didn't mean to, I really didn't, but somehow, I found myself watching the memorial for Michael Jackson. I'm a crier, I cry at everything--babies, commercials, I'm happy, I'm sad. I cry, it's what I do. So, the tears I shed (buckets and buckets) didn't surprise me. The occasion was a sad one, no matter how upbeat people tried to keep it. I had a jumble of thoughts as I watched and those thoughts haven't yet managed to untangle themselves. As such, I'm just going to have to make a list:
1. As I watched, I rediscovered the human side of MJ. I had somehow lost that in the controversy that surrounded the man over the past 16 years. People spoke of him and of their lives with him and I saw that he was just one of us, he was in fact human. Which leads me here to number
2. . I'm not so sure that he wasn't just misguided and odd and not the creepy human (barring all the plastic surgeries) the tabloids portrayed him.
3. Which in turn leads to this thought: the tabloids are in the business of making money, and MJ was surely a big money maker. Additionally, I've determined the media (including news outlets) can take a story and run with it and slant anything the way they want. Let's face it, the man did some really weird things with little boys (I can't help but wonder if it was because he was, ostensibly, a little boy himself, having never truly grown up) but a jury of his peers saw ALL the evidence (we saw what the media wanted us to see) and ruled he was not guilty. They had all the evidence, we only had hearsay and tabloids. What if (strange as he undoubtedly was), the man was in fact innocent of the charges leveled against him? Talk about ruining a life...
4. The big picture I got of MJ today was a man who just wanted the world to get along, for there to be love and peace and harmony. He wanted people to look past race, religion, financial status, etc. and just be one race, the human race. What a beautiful desire. In some ways, MJ managed this. For a few minutes at a time, he would unite everyone with his unbelievable talent.
5. Paris absolutely broke me up when she spoke at the end of the memorial. I can't help but wonder how many people have lost sight of the fact three children have lost their father. I lost my Papa when I was 21 and it was horrible. I can't imagine being an 11 year old girl facing the loss of my daddy. She was very brave to stand in front of thousands (possibly millions) of people and tell how wonderful her daddy was. Which in turn leads to point number
6. There is a mama grieving for her son. She had already lost one child during birth (I didn't know this until today when Marlon spoke) and now she's lost another. My heart hurts so much for her. No parent should EVER have to bury a child.
7. My heart goes out to the entire Jackson family. They have experienced this incredible loss and they have to share it publicly, with the world. I remember feeling blessed so many knew and loved Hannah and came to her celebration, and I wonder if the Jacksons feel the same. The trouble is so many felt they knew MJ and they felt he belonged to them. I think the Jacksons were incredibly generous to share this special service with the world.
8. The memorial was beautifully done, not at all overblown or overproduced. It was a lovely, beautiful tribute to a very unique individual. I pray the family finds peace now that this is all over.
9. I watched only the memorial, not the coverage afterward because, to me, that felt too voyeuristic. Who cares where the family was going or what they were going to do, or where they are interring MJ. While the world feels they own him, ultimately, he is in fact, theirs, the family's, not the general public's.
10. Now that this memorial has passed, I hope this is the end of it and we let this man rest in peace and leave his family alone. Not to mention, it would be nice to see what's going on in the rest of the world (middle east, Iran, Afghanistan, Honduras, etc.). I understand the phenomenon that was Michael Jackson. I get he was a uniter and unifier, and unquestionably one of the most talented artists ever, but it's time to get back to "real" news.
1. I got to sleep in MY bed last night. There's nothing like your own bed. Ahhhh!
2. Lil put herself down for a nap today, lol! It got awfully quiet in her room so I went up to check on her and found her dead to the world. ;o)
3. I got a good bit of cleaning and straightening done today. You should see my closet!
4. The Jackson 5 really did have some good music (said while listening to "ABC" :oP).
5. The most delicious chopped Mediterranean salad for dinner. Yummmmmm!
6. The internet wasn't as spotty today but I'm still having BIG issues with my email. Grr. Karey, if you're reading this, we will be in town those dates. :o)
7. Lily received her newest Sandbox Threads shirt today--a red pirate shirt. I'll have to get a photo and post it. :o)
8. Shaheen Jafargholi was INCREDIBLE at the tribute today (you should watch the video if you've got the time). What a voice on such a young man. Oh, and those dimples certainly don't hurt anything either. What a cutie pie!
I don't know that this is a milestone so much as just a fact of life. You know how if you're married and you attend a wedding, you get a little misty watching the exchange of vows, remembering your own wedding? I have a similar experience when it comes to funerals and memorial services. Losing Hannah and her service are always at the back of my mind. I empathize so strongly with the mother in these situations I can hardly breathe. I remember those first Vaseline days when I didn't know how I was going to go on, how I was going to live.
I'm grateful every day I do know how to be alive, not just live. I'm grateful I have worked so hard to follow the Monk's example and try to throw myself into living, finding the beauty and wonder that are in the world around me. Every day, every single day, I thank the Lord I had almost six incredible years with my precious Monkey Girl, that she was here to show me what it means to embrace life to the fullest.