People Just Don't Get It

Hi all.

I'm alive and well and was planning on keeping up the hiatus until tomorrow afternoon and then I saw this article on cnn.com. Grrrr.

The headline states: Travolta 'struggling' five months after son's death

Then, in the top section, where they clue you in as to what you can find in the article it reports:

• Denzel Washington: John Travolta still grieving his son's death five months ago
  
• Actor unable to help promote "The Taking of Pelham 123," Washington says
  
• Jett Travolta, 16, died in January while on vacation with parents in the Bahamas
  
• "One moment he's OK and the next he's in tears," Washington says of Travolta

Really? Who would have guessed it? Who would have thunk that a person would still be mourning their baby? I don't get angry often, but this strikes me as beyond insensitive. It's only been FIVE months, people.

Mr. Washington was actually quite sweet in what he had to say, and really, the article itself isn't as snippy as I had feared it would be. And, I know I'm coming at this from an entirely different point of view from many many people and that most people wouldn't see anything out of the ordinary in those bulletted points. However, I don't think it's to be unexpected that Mr. Travolta and his wife are still grieving. Of course they are! They will for the rest of their lives because they are forever changed. They have lost a most precious and beautiful child and my heart still hurts for them.

Again, I'm eternally thankful I'm NOT famous and I've been "allowed" to grieve my way, not some way that is prescribed as "normal", that my pain and sorrow aren't news fodder. I will say an extra prayer for Mr. Travolta and Ms. Preston this evening.

And, no, this is not one of my more eloquently written pieces, but I felt I had to write. Until you've walked a mile in their shoes, don't make statements about people still grieving. Grrrr.

MIA for a Few Days

Hi all! I'm probably going to be missing for a couple of days as I work to finish up the end of the year items that have yet to be completed--ahem grading ahem. I'm all caught up except for those darn tests and well, procrastination will only get you so far.

I'm also utterly and completely pooped. I'm not sure why, maybe the grey weather...

We've got our "Living Wax Museum" presentations tomorrow--the kids selected a person to "be", wrote a brief bio for them, memorized it, and will be presenting it to people as they walk by. They are to be frozen until someone pushes their "button". They will then give their speech and return to their "frozen" position. This should be LOADS of fun, but it's been exhausting getting here, that's for sure.

The end of the year looms ever closer. Eek!

In other news, my friend Cathy lost her mom this weekend and my friend, Megan, has most likely had her baby. Megan's baby was about 2 pounds at last ultra sound so any prayers and positive thoughts for her and her baby would be greatly appreciated. She made it to almost 30 weeks, which is about six weeks longer than expected. Oh how I hope all is well. I'll keep you posted.

For now, I'm off to play with my Bit and get to work on that stack of papers. I'll catch you all in a few days! :o)

New and Improved Bedroom

I finished steam cleaning the carpets this morning and put everything back in place. Here is the current state of my bedroom. I'm beyond delighted with the paint and the simplicity of the room. I'm looking at getting a new bedside lamp for me (the little green one) as I've had that lamp since high school and well, it doesn't really "go" with the rest of the room.

I'd also like to get some simple window treatments and pillow shams. I think those items will finish the room nicely. :o)

Ah, the bane of my existence, the evil elliptical runner. It fits nicely in the bay bump-out, though. I took this photo so you could get a since of how we decided to paint in there. Remember, it was all gold rash-y prior to the painting--even the white spaces in the "door" frame. UGH!


Looking out into the hall. I'm hoping Brien will frame some of his prints for me so I can hang them in the room. That space beside the dresser is a prime location for one.

Looking across from the bay alcove. (Men and their dresser tops...I swear, any flat surface must be there to accumulate their "stuff".)

And, there you have it--my room. Those of you family and friends who have seen it in real life know what a VAST improvement this is. Those of you who haven't can certainly imagine it. :o)

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Today hasn't been quite as down as yesterday. I believe the changing of the seasons is indeed the trigger. As I've typically done, I've embraced the down yo and gone with it. Fighting it really does no good.

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We had the most wonderful and delightful surprise this afternoon/evening. Our friends Jen and Jim came with their two kiddos for a visit. :o) Lil and Jemma had a BLAST together and James is such a sweetie pie! :o) Jen has volunteered to keep Lil for us so we can still do our honeymoon thing. I'm strongly considering doing a couple of days now and then maybe a longer thing closer to the beginning of August. If we do the few days around our anniversary, I'll definitely call upon Jen to help out as Jemma and Lil will have a SPLENDID time together. :o) Now to convince Brien...;oP
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Today's Sparklies:

1. I discovered an artist whose music really resonates with me today--Jose' Gonzales. It's acoustic and folky and aternative-y and really mellow. It fits my mood today.
2. Clean carpets and a bedroom that has been put back together.
3. Three day weekends. Ahhh!
4. Listening to Stephen Fry read "Harry Potter" whilst working. I LOVE audio books!
5. Getting chores done. Seriously--it feels so much better than sitting there with them hanging over your head.
6. I read a Susan Elizabeth Phillips book I hadn't read before and found myself crying at the end. I can honestly say that's the first time a novel has moved me, quite literally, to tears. Oh I enjoyed it!
7. Visiting with the Bates family. Oh this has been a wonderful evening. :o)


No milestones.

And, the Yo Swings Down

I'm not sure why, but today has been a very hard down yo Hannah day. I'm just so sad. My little family isn't whole and perfect and somehow, today, that is so much harder than usual to deal with. I'm insanely dissatisfied with so much today (me, my appearance, etc.) and yet, can't seem to find the wherewithal to do something about it. Why gripe and moan when you aren't going to bother trying fix it? That's just whining and not worth the energy it takes to do it. And yet, today, it's what I want to do. :sigh: I HATE it when I get like this. There is so much in my life to be joyful for I needed to stop and take a moment to reflect and take inventory.

Things I'm Grateful For:

1. Hannah's Garden. Who knew it would grow so lush and gorgeous this year. The lilies are starting to bloom and they are amazing. The other flowers look fantastic as well! :o)


2. Flowers. What's not to like about flowers? The impatiens began blooming today--I'm so glad I caught it!

And, the marigolds are starting to top the planter. :o) (I'm thinking it may be time to harvest those onions...)

3. My garden--look at the plants!

4. Basil--it's such a summer flavor. Pesto and Caprese salads here we come!

5. Cute preschoolers (she's no longer a toddler, sniff sniff) who don't want their pictures taken:



Sure, the images are a bit fuzzy, but that is one cute kiddo if I say so myself. ;oP


6. Cute preschoolers who love to "read". Lil was being WAY too quiet in her room so I snuck in to see what she was doing and caught her at this:


7. I got the room finished.

This entire alcove (including the ceiling beam) were that lovely gold sponged look. I look at my room now and it looks like an entirely different space. It's amazing what some paint (THREE coats to cover that gold rash thankyouverymuch) and time can do, no? I'll post a better photo once I've put the room to rights again. The carpets still need to be steam cleaned tomorrow.

8. (No photo, unfortunately) My sweet husband. I can't think of another human being who would put up with me and tolerate me in my current state of mind and being. Thank you, Fred, for loving me even when I'm my most unlovable.

No milestones but the missing sure is strong today. I'll wallow in my down yo-ness today and pray for better days tomorrow.

Jessie is a Goddess!

This is the room with the oh-how-I-wish-it-weren't-pink paint.


This is "Monroe Bisque" from Benjamin Moore. Hooray, Jessie! Thank you SOOOO much! Of course, I LOVE it! :o)

I spent three hours this evening painting the top portion of the walls. I'll do below the chair rail Saturday and Sunday. :o) I can't wait until it is DONE!

In other news, I did what I could to rectify my blunder from yesterday. I wrote notes of apology to the parties involved and one group doesn't seem too upset with me. Whew. I don't feel nearly as ill as I was last night.

Brien is working from home tomorrow, which is just as well as he has a Coumadin clinic appointment tomorrow afternoon. I'm excited because tomorrow is Friday and heralds a three-day weekend. :o) I'm hoping B and I can have our long overdue date night Sunday--this is part of B's birthday gift from January...

My plans for the weekend include finish the painting, steam clean the carpets, help out with the yard sale Saturday morning, hit the FM if possible (see previous yard sale comment), maybe have a hike Sunday and do some grading--those tests are still looming...

It's almost 9 and I have yet to have a meal this evening. I'm off to eat and rest.

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Today's Sparklies:

1. Beautiful paint.
2. Lingering pride in my baby standing up for herself. What more could a mama ask for?
3. Excitement about the bedroom--it's going to look SO good!
4. More gorgeous weather. Recess duty was fantastic because the weather was so wonderful.
5. After school tutoring with the kiddos. They are too funny!
6. The goslings on the way to work sure are growing. They are so funny and cute.
7. I'm covered in paint and it makes me laugh. ;o)

No milestones.

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And now, dinner! :o)

Hodge Podge Post

You know that feeling when you do something wrong and you know you're at fault but there's really not much you can do to make the situation any better? You know that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach and the nausea? Yeah, I've got that. I take ownership, I'm the one who made the mistake, no one is mad per se, but many people aren't exactly happy with the situation either. :o( I hate messing up and I hate having people disappointed in me. I know it will all be all right in the end, but at the moment, I just feel so awful. :sigh: After feeling like this for most of the day, I happened to read "Dear Abby" online when I got home and found this quote from Vince Lombardi: "Success is never final. Failure is never fatal. It's courage that counts." Failure isn't fatal, but it sure doesn't feel or taste very good sometimes...

Other than that, all is going as well as can be expected this close to the end of the year. I have two tests (38 kids/test) to grade--essay variety--but I'm keeping up with the grades on-line so that's good. I'm completing final assessments and feeling pretty good about the end of the year. This has been a good crew of kids and I'll miss them next year.

I've been bitten by the decorating bug, and apparently, so has Lil. I'm not very happy with the results of her work, though.



When questioned as to the most appropriate place to draw and color, Lil will respond, "Paper!" So, tell me, why does she feel the need to do so on the windowsill? As an aside, that is a pretty cute doggy if I say so myself. :oP

Now, on to my room. I threw on a quick layer of paint last night to try to get a feel for the color. Those beige-y colors can be so deceiving until they are on the walls. This is our before:
If you click to enlarge this photo, you can sort of get a feel for the gold effect. However, to really "get" it, you would have had to see the entire room. Alas, I failed to take any photos prior to the painting last night.

An idea of the yellow above with sponging on yellow below.

Anyhow, the paint now looks flesh-toned. :sigh: I'll be going for a darker beige and see how that comes out. However, you can still see how different the room is going to look. I'm going to be overjoyed with it when it is completed. :o) Now to find the correct paint...

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Today's Sparklies:

1. There are newly hatched ducklings just down the hall and they are SOOOOO sweet! :o) Lil and I returned to school this afternoon to take a peak. :o)
2. Lil had fun visiting with the "big" kids on the playground this afternoon. At one point, one little guy kept teasing her about her age and her shoes (he was all of six) and she stood up to him, looked him in the eye and boldly stated, "Stop teasing me! I don't like it." Then, she walked away. GOOOOO LILY!! :o) I'm SO proud of her. No hitting, just affirming herself. (Han, bless her heart, would have most likely collapsed in a sad heap on the ground because the other child "didn't like" her.)
3. These folks came to visit today and put on one heck of a show. Okay, we only had three people--French horn, trombone and trumpet--but they were SO good with the kids. I was really impressed. One guy even managed to play a song using a mouth piece and a piece of garden hose. No kidding!
4. The weather has been so lovely the past few days. Sun but not too hot. Ahhh.
5. The garden is looking as if it might actually make it. Hooray for not having a black thumb--yet. ;oP


No milestones.

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Jessie says I need to go with Benjamin Moore's "Monroe Bisque". I'll grab the swatch and have the Lowe's people make it with the Valspar paint. ;o)

Off Line Tonight

I'm off to mow and then do various and sundry home improvement-esque projects so this is it for me this evening. :o)

Hope everyone has a glorious Wednesday!

One Week Ago--Pandapas Pond

I kept forgetting to post these photos. Then, when I was stuck for anything meaningful/worthwhile to write about and hoping to find a lovely pic of Lil, I remembered this batch. :o) These are from Mother's Day last week.


The sign that never fails to make me grin. :o)


:insert squeal here: Babies! Aren't they precious?

Fears of H1N1 per chance? ;oP Ha!
It was taped up outside the "bathroom"--a glorified hole in the ground.


Lil rides the horse tree once again. She was SO excited to see this tree. :o)



Ah, now the story of Lissie's hat. This hat is a particular favorite of Lissie's. She received it as a gift from Dottie and wears it all the time. Well, it was rather windy last Sunday morning and Liss took her hand off the hat but for a moment. It turns out, it was just long enough...;o)

While I was going to go ahead and jump right in to save the hat, Paul once again proved he is far more clever than I. Check out that "stick". :oP
So, how bad do you suppose stagnant pond water is for a straw hat?


You can see from the drops this guy definitely went for a swim. Hm, maybe that's what happened. The hat was jealous of all the geese and wanted a turn? :oP


Lil and the lamb's ear-type plant. This is such a soft plant.


Friends. :o)


How funny I caught this guy mid-scratch. hee!


Wild azalea in bloom. Oh was it GORGEOUS.


The feeder streams had water flowing and flowing. Hooray! The drought in SW Virginia has been very tough the past few years. This is a sign much needed rain had come.





Fresh water clams. Or, more to the point, their remains...


We revisited the goslings.




And, the walk back to the car so it could "hike" back to Rt. 460.

It really was such a fun day.

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Today was a busy kind of day. I'm staying after work the next few days to continue tutoring the kiddos on prepositions and prepositional objects and phrases and when a word might be an adverb instead of a preposition and vice versa. UGH! This is such a hard concept for some of these kiddos. I don't mind giving them the time because I want them to KNOW this and feel comfortable with it and right now, so may of them don't. :sigh:

Brien had a difficult time falling asleep last night and then was super-tired all day today. In fact, I think he might actually be in bed already he's so exhausted. This clearing your lungs of a PE takes some work, huh?

I had to stop by the grocery on the way home (bad weekend planning on my part left no time to do the shopping) and it has thrown my evening off. I'm looking at the clock and beginning to panic some since it's already almost 9:00!

Mom and Dad stopped by on their way back into town to pick up Mason. Boy was he overjoyed to see them! :o) We had a nice, if short, visit with Nan and Pop and I look forward to hearing all about their adventures. :o) Oh, and they brought me the sweetest tree frog. You'll see. :o)

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Today's Sparklies:

1. The cool temps. Ahhhh. :o)
2. A husband who can take Lil to daycare on mornings I have early meetings.
3. Simple dinners of hot dogs, mac and cheese and baked beans with fruit salad for dessert.
4. Mom's house might sell soon. She has a couple interested and they need to get financing. Keep your fingers crossed.
5. It appears Jessie's pregnancy may be a "sticky" on indeed! :o)
6. My "Frank Sinatra" Pandora station playing on my iPhone. Ahhhh.

No milestones.

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I think I'd better go check on Boy Boy--I haven't heard much from him since reading bedtime stories to Lil.

Oh, it also looks as if we are going to have to postpone our "honeymoon" trip thing-y since the babysitting for Lil has fallen through. :insert crestfallen sigh here: I just want to do something fun with my husband. Is that too much to ask??? I feel as if all our plans are always falling through somehow. :sigh:

Because I'm Apparently Crazy

And, because I apparently don't have enough going on in my life with the end of the school year and all the details and busy-ness that entails, and because the new gardening thing I've undertaken isn't a bit time consuming, and obviously this whole being an adult and being responsible and keeping up with the house thing doesn't eat up all the rest of my free time, I've taken on the job of redoing my bedroom.

I knew when we purchased the house I wasn't thrilled with the paint choices in all the rooms but it was something I could live with--for a while. Well, it's been over three years now, and I'm tired of my bedroom. I like yellow, really I do. In fact, it makes a wonderful, sunny room. Unfortunately, the former owners and I don't quite agree on the liberal use of the "sponging" technique that is all. over. my house. I've taken care of it in the girls' bathroom. Now, it's time for the gold sponging in my bedroom to go away.

I've selected a lovely taupe color (that doesn't even hint at resembling a flesh tone, no matter the light source) for the color to be painted above the chair rail. Below I would LOVE to put up wainscoting as we did in the studio, but that is simply TOO much work for now. Instead, I'm simply going to paint the area below the chair rail antique white. We'll paint the little bay window alcove the taupe.

I'm trying to simplify my bedroom. I had selected my bedding based on that shimmery gold sponging and it won't "go" with the new, simpler room. As such, it has found itself in the HUGE to-be-donated pile in the dining room. For now, we'll use the white down comforter and I'm keeping my eyes peeled for a simple, neutral duvet cover similar to the ones you can find on Restoration Hardware's website. I LOVE their stuff, simply love it. Oh, and Pottery Barn too. Ahhh. I could do my house entirely in PB and RH. :happy sigh: :oP

We also replaced our nightstands with something a little smaller. Brien and I both love mission style furniture and Tar-jay had some Mission side tables on sale today. He purchased them, put them together and they now reside where our hand-me-down commodes once lived. Mom, what would you like for us to do with those, by the way?

Besides all of those changes, we've been busy. Lil cleaned the entire playroom all by herself today. Sure, I sat and kept her company and gave direction where needed, but she did it, all of it! I'm SO proud of her and it looks really nice. :o)

Brien is currently making piles of recycling from the cardboard boxes the tables came in and I'm going to get off to work on that painting. :o)

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Weekend Sparklies:

1. Time spent with my family. It's so nice to just be together, you know? We've had so much upheaval recently this time together was simple and wonderful.
2. Big plans for a better bedroom. ;o)
3. Spending time just taking it easy.
4. Brien's health. He's doing SO much better. He still tires more easily than he used to, but his heart rate is back to normal and his blood pressure is down. He will continue to be monitored for a while and will be on the Coumadin until July at the earliest. But, he's well and it really is a miracle. :o)
5. The sound of Lily laughing. She has the best laugh! :o)


Milestones:

Hannah LOVED the bedding we had in our room. I think it fulfilled that "fancy" need of her's. It's been hard thinking about getting rid of it. It's just another part of our lives moving on without her. :sigh: As we were moving around furniture today, I found a receipt that had been hiding somewhere. I compulsively checked the date--3/27/07 and therefore before Hannah died. My life is now divided like that. "Before Hannah Died" and "After Hannah Died". I looked at the receipt to see what we had purchased on that date, trying to determine if it was something that had brought Hannah pleasure. I'm guessing the infant's Tylenol drops probably made her happy since it would keep Lil from crying, but otherwise, it was just your typical grocery list for chili fixin's. :sigh: Jeez I miss that kid.

Enjoying the Evening

Miss "Actual Size" and I visited my friend Megan this evening (Hi, Megs!). She has been on bed rest since April 7 to try to keep her baby where it is supposed to be and keep it growing growing growing. (Isn't it incredible the sacrifices mamas make for their children?) As she is pretty much confined to the couch, we (work friends) have been trying to provide meals for her and her husband Dave. Lil and I had a delightful visit and before we knew it, almost an hour had passed (I sincerely hope we didn't overstay our welcome!) and it was time to head for home. The two of us decided on a fairly junky dinner and we picked up Taco Bell on the way home. She eats the "cheesy Tacobell" roll-ups so I figure it's not much different from having a "rosalita" (quesadilla) at home.

Because we had such a simple dinner, we had plenty of time to play outside this evening. I so adore these lovely spring evenings. I LOVE our backyard and thoroughly enjoy getting outside to be in it while the weather is lovely (again, we'll see what happens when the heat and humidity kick in).

Lil and I watered the plants and she played in the water.


What's more fun than leaving "foot paw prints" all over the deck? I was marveling how much she has changed in just the past few months. I had one of those where-did-my-baby-go moments the other day. Her nose now has a distinct bridge to it and look at those legs--they are no longer the plump baby stumps she once had. They are beginning to slender out and lengthen and the knees are beginning to look knobby. Ultimately, she's losing that baby look as a "preschooler" look begins to emerge.


In spite of these things, she's still just a peanut. Yes, Allie, that shirt she was wearing in one of the more recent posts is the one you gave her last summer and yes, it does still fit. ;o) Lily is one petite girlie.


When you are as teeny as she is, you find ways to compensate and become quite good at problem solving. She couldn't reach the rings on her own so she found a "stool".


This is the first time Lil has attempted this trick. She needed a little assistance but really seemed to enjoy herself once she got there. :o)

Yesterday, Lil was busy outside, planting new things in our gardens and beds. See:

Think we'll grow Micro Machines?


Or, maybe more sticks? :oP I tell you what, the girl keeps me smiling. :o)

This next batch of photos are the things I found particularly lovely this evening.
The uniquely colored impatiens.

The superbells I just planted. Mason has taken it upon himself to use this flower bed as a bathroom so my flowers have been a bit trampled today. Oops!


One of my day lilies is sporting a bud. Woo hoo!


Look at the buds on this guy! I'm REALLY looking forward to seeing how Hannah's garden blooms this summer. I'm hoping to have flowers blooming throughout. :o)


Anyone know what this plant is? I know it's a flowering perennial, but can't remember what it is. Again, Lil and her helpful cleaning up of the bed and the removal of those handy identifying tags...


The Johnny Jump-Ups are looking quite perky and I just adore their sweet little faces.

I love the yard when the trees are all leafy. :o) As you can see, Han's flower bed is filling in quite nicely.


Our poplar shrub is also coming along. :oP



The back view of the house and yard (again, ignore the nasty green stuff on the house). When I first saw this yard, I fell in love and knew this was the house I had to have. This was the house Bri and I had been looking for. Up until we walked in here, we hadn't been able to agree on a house. I would like one and he would veto it. He would like one and I would inevitably hate it.

Our realtor was holding an open house here and asked us to stop in to let her know exactly what we were looking for. The front of the house did nothing for me (still doesn't, quite frankly. No curb appeal--none whatsoever. In fact, I wouldn't have even looked inside if Brien had suggested it, I would have vetoed it out of hand) but I walked in and fell in love. The family room/kitchen area sucked me in and then, then there was the backyard. Oh. My. Goodness. This was what we had been looking for--it had a workshop, a play fort, a porch swing. It was perfect and it was meant for us. :o)

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Today's Sparklies:

1. Mason is such a goofy dog. Check it out:

He just keeps us laughing!
2. Visiting with Megan. :o)
3. Spending time with B and Lil out back.
4. Spending time with my gardens. Boy do the 'tunies smell good. :o)
5. Open windows to let in fresh air.
6. Snuggling doggies. Holly is cuddling like a snuggle bunny right now. :o)
7. Brien helped out with the laundry today. Yay! :o)


No milestones.

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So, I'm fairly certain I scratched my left cornea last night while I was mowing. I think something must have blown in my eye under my glasses. My eye feels like it did when I would wear contacts and they would dry out or I would get something under one of them. UGH.