Exciting News!

I got into a pair of pre-pregnancy jeans and wore a pair of pre-pregnancy shorts today. Oh oh oh, AND, I'm down below my pre-pregnancy weight!!! Now then, when my innards finish realigning themselves, I'll be set! :o) Today has been a wonderful day. ;o) (I should probably add, this did NOT happen with the other two girls.)

In other wonderful news, Miss Ellie's namesake came for a visit. Grandma and Bill arrived this evening for a weekend visit. They'll be staying with Nana and Pop which means we'll get lots of visiting time. Yay! :o)

Tomorrow I hope to get out to the FM--I'm beginning to feel a bit shut-in (the trials of being an extrovert, huh?)--and the FM is always SO lovely. :o)

I hope you all have a FANTASTIC weekend!

P.S. Check out Follow Your Bliss for a simple, yet delicious caramel dip for Granny Smith apples. Mm. :o)

Falling into Place

Doesn't my child look thrilled I'm taking her photo? She and Hannah share a common fashion sense and I had to capture the moment.

Lil is pretty good about matching her shorts and shirts (for the most part), and then we come to the footwear. Oh, dear. After we lost Hannah, I decided there were certain battles that were worth fighting, and those that weren't. It's not as if anyone looking at Lily's choice of shoes and socks would ever think I dressed her that way. ;o) Lily loves fancy socks and apparently, the brown flower shoes were the best choice for today. Alrighty then. :oP

I embrace the child's individuality and cuteness and roll with it. If they make her happy, then why not?

The weather today was simply wonderful so we all (Miss Bean as well) took a morning sojourn out in the sun and breeze. Brien strung up Lil's birthday hammock and was the hero of the day. He just upped his hero status by putting sand in her sandbox. That's it, there's no hope for Mommy now. ;o)

Lil has climbed in and out of the hammock all day. It is in a perfect place, hanging under her monkey bars. To make the location even more perfect, B hung a tarp over the bars:
I always forget how leafy and green the playground area becomes in spring and summer. It's the perfect hang-out for small kiddos. With the tarp over the hammock, Lil can hang out in out even in the rain. She was pretty chuffed with that idea. :o) I foresee many a lazy afternoon spent swaying in the hammock...for Lily, of course. ;o)

I realized I hadn't posted many (any?) photos of Miss Ellie with her eyes open, so here you go. She had two urpy moments today, the first one right after her first feed this morning. It's official, I'm overfilling her tank. With Han and Lil, I could nurse on both sides, top 'em off, and they were good to go for three or four hours. The teeny Beanie just can't handle that. She is a one side only kinda girlie, and even then, it had better not be too much (like from an overnight--you nursing mamas know what I'm talking about--when you have a rock in your bra). So, not coming equipped with an overflow meter (like a gas pump), I overfilled her and she let me know it. Oops.

The second bout was a normal baby spit-up and it truly wasn't a big deal. Not like the projectile vomiting of the first one, that's for sure.
Ellie is still sleeping most of the time (unless it's from 4-6 in the morning in which case she can't seem to settle...), and when she does, you can find her arms like this. She loves to have those hands up by her face, so I have to make sure those nails are short short short.

While we were outside (B attempting to do homework, Ellie dozing in the shade, Lil in the hammock), I was busy getting my gardens in order. I planted my tomatoes and peppers, and not a moment too soon. The tomatoes really should have gone in last week, as they are quite leggy now. I planted them as deep in the soil as I could and I'm hoping they'll perk up and show some oomph. I planted SIX sun gold plants. I just couldn't help myself, lol! We'll see if I manage to grow anything. If not, I know I can count on Becky at the FM to hook me up. :o)

The peppers are looking great and I have high hopes for them. The peas are ready to begin racing up their string, and the lettuces will be ready to harvest shortly. I'm going to replace the lettuce with basil when it comes out. I'm not sure what I'm going to put where the peas are. Anyone know of a nice summer plant?
Lettuces, peas, beans, peppers.

Leggy tomatoes and peppers. The second square from the left has the basil I planted that Holly promptly ran through. I'm waiting to see what happens with it.

Many many years ago (eight I do believe), Lissie gave me some cleome and Japanese iris seeds. They moved with me from apartment to "Important News" house to W'burg house, always living in the back of the fridge. I found them this year and decided to see if they were any good. Amazingly, they sprouted. I've put them in this planter--maybe not the best choice, given the size of the cleomes in that photo in the link--to see what happens.

These are "huckleberries". No, not like the wild ones. I'm eager to see what they do. There is also a volunteer marigold in there.


Here's Hannah's garden. The dianthus are looking fantastic, and the irises are still blooming. The lilies will be blooming soon--one of them is smothered in buds. The balloon flower has come up and the bee balm looks like it'll be prolific this year as well.

The choral bells (hucheras) are gorgeous.

I can't believe how huge the columbine have grown. Perennials are truly remarkable. The columbine have even spread, sending up new plants.

Another huchera. This one will be blooming soon.

Okay, the Johnny Jump-Ups have taken over. There's an azalea hiding in them thar flares.

And, even a poor wittle hosta. B and I are going to take the sheers to the cuties tomorrow and I'll have bouquets throughout the house. I'm POSITIVE they'll come back with a vengeance, but for now, all the other plants need a moment or three to breathe. ;oP

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Today's Sparklies:

1. I vacuumed, planted, cleaned the kitchen and cleaned out the freezer. Go me! I'm getting back into the swing of things.
2. Spending time outside. Oh that sun is a good thing. :o)
3. A visit from Kristine and Ian--our neighbor and her sun.
4. My new Pink Martini albums. iTunes is a dangerous dangerous thing.
5. Watching the squirrels on our Yankee flipper bird feeder. It is hysterical to see the squirrels go for a ride on the feeder. They do so intentionally so they can get bird seed to fly out so they can get a snack. So, they get an amusement ride and a snack, and we get entertained. :o)
6. Feeling like I'm getting my feet under me once again.

No milestones.

I thought of another reason why bringing Lily home was easier than Ellie. Hannah was Brien's girl, and followed him EVERYWHERE. She was his little shadow and wanted to do everything he did. Lil, well, she's my girl so I have had to figure out how to balance my time with her with my need to be with the baby. Today's incident was "Why does Ellie get to get breakfast first?" :sigh: It's all about finding a balance and we're getting there.

Time

When your life revolves around a baby's feeding schedule, you have a tendency to lose track of time in the "real world". At least I do, anyway. More to the point, I lose track during the first few weeks. Then, things seem to fall into a rhythm and routine and I feel human again. That isn't to say I don't feel human now, just that my life is currently run at the whim of a tummy the size of a marble. We're all still finding our way.

Lily is in love with her baby sister. She loves to stroke and pet her and I have to admit, Ellie is quite soft and she smells utterly delicious, so I don't blame Miss Lil one bit. :o) When I'm nursing her, or even just holding her, I can't seem to stop myself from "petting" her head and playing with her hair, or stroking her cheeks. She's still so soft and new and fresh baked.

I was crying the other night (gotta love those hormone jags) because I realized Lily is no longer my baby. She will never be my "baby" again--that's Ellie's role now. Yes, Lil will always be my "baby" as in my child, but no longer my youngest. That was tough--and I don't know why. I'm fairly certain it had something to do with acknowledging once more that life continues without the Monkey. Time continues to pass, taking me yet farther from my time with her.

Time. It slows when it comes to the aging of my older child (yes, it goes quickly, but not as quickly as it does for Ellie), but FLIES when it comes to my youngest. It drags when trying to cope with the pain of loss, but soars when I realize just how long I've lived without her. Time is certainly a friend and an enemy. I have a love/hate relationship with it.


In other, less introspective thoughts, here are some baby photos to tide over those of you needing a baby-fix. :o)

I miss having her in me. I DON'T miss the physical discomfort and exhaustion, but I miss feeling her tiny hiney and feet in me. I can tell you I felt just this pose on more than one occasion. :o)


Lily and I got out the Magneatos yesterday and made some shapes. We eventually built a house for Rufus. It's a wondrous thing, watching her brain put things together and figure things out. I expect she'll have some sight-word recognition by the end of the summer. How exciting!


Ah, my goofy girl. :o) Her allergies are SO much better now that the pollen counts are going down. She and Daddy had a date with his cameras and DOG Street. Have I mentioned how much I LOVE living so close to Colonial Williamsburg? When I was a child and we visited, I desperately wanted to live here. I never would have imagined I would live here now.

Anyhow, B and Lil took his (film!) cameras out for a walk today and then met up with Nana for lunch. I'm fairly certain they both had a good time as they both came in smiling, telling tales. :o) Ellie and I, meanwhile, hung out at home. :oP

We have (so far) had another urp-free day (thankyouthankyouthankyou) and slept well last night. Hooray! I'm going to go to the breastfeeding support group again tomorrow to weigh her and see how she is growing. I know she's getting plenty to eat and drink based on her diapers, but I want to be certain she is in fact gaining some weight. Like I said, I'm far more neurotic with this child than I was with the other two--poor baby.

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Today's Sparklies:

1. Watching Lil be SO gentle with her sister.
2. The letter of welcome we received from Fr. Pete.
3. Getting out into the sunshine to work a bit in the flower beds. I pulled some weeds and it just felt good. I could get on my hands and knees and wasn't uncomfortable, lol!
4. Knowing Brien and Lil had a fun day together. :o)
5. Bread ends and House from the Cheese Shop. B brought them home from their excursion today. :o)
6. Snuggling with the Bean.

No milestones.

iPhone Photos

I synced my phone with my computer today and these photos downloaded. Here is Lil at "the candle store" (Yankee Flagship Store).

And, Butterball the gingerbread man.

Ellie on her birth day.


Going to the hospital to have her heel stuck. Three days old.

Miss Teeny Beanie some time last week.

Trying to go to sleep last night. Is there a baby in there? ;o)

So far today there have been no major spit-up incidents. We've been keeping her upright after feedings and out of her bouncer and seem to have had some success. There have also only been two bouts of hiccups today. Yay! Now if we can work out the sleeping, we'd be set. ;o) Like any smart baby, Miss Bean wants to be held when going to sleep. I can't say I blame her in the least, but it sure does make things a little more difficult during the night. Here's hoping tonight is a little better.

Does anyone else marvel at how amazing it is to have children? What a miracle it is that you have the children you do? That you are who you are? Jessie wrote about it here. I look at my sweet girlies and am astounded that Brien and I created such incredible beings. My heart overflows with love for my girls. They are the most precious beings. Just looking at their hands and feet I'm amazed something so small can be so utterly perfect. They are amazing.

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Today's Sparklies:

1. A nap. Lil, Ellie and I all napped today. It was quite lovely. :o)
2. No spit-up episodes--so far (:fingers crossed:).
3. A delicious eggplant Parmesan and salad.
4. Having Brien home. It's SO wonderful. :o)

Milestone:

This is silly, but still a biggie. We had purchased "Shrek the Third" to watch with Hannah right before she died. We never watched it with her--another promise broken :sigh: (lesson learned: don't put off doing something when you promise you will), and today watched it for the first time. Funny how something so simple could be so difficult.

Finding Our Way

Today was the first morning it was just our little family in our home. I find that no matter how I try, I cannot manage to sleep beyond seven in the morning--so I've given up trying. In fact, getting up at seven allows me to get ready for the day before Miss Bean needs tending to. Some mornings, it even beats the Bit's awakening. This morning? Bitty was in our room by about 7:15, snuggling with us for a few minutes. It's odd having "my girls" once again, but they aren't the "right" girls--if that makes sense. I would dearly love it to be all THREE girls. I know this too will feel "normal" within a few weeks, but for now, things are so very familiar and yet so not right. It is human nature to compare the known to the unknown, to find patterns and search for that which is familiar. My life with two girls is familiar, this one is just not the one I'm "used to". Hm, I'm not making much sense here, but I know what I mean.

We got our morning off to a rather "normal" start with Lil watching "Curious George" and "Sid the Science Kid" and then off to dress for the day. Then, she disappeared. I "found" her playing in the playroom, working in her kitchen. She informed me she was making soup for a nice monster, but that the items in the soup were things humans wouldn't like to eat because they taste nasty. She then brought me some fruit slices and then some lunch, followed by a slice of pizza and a soda. :o) She's taking good care of me and is such a sweet little helper. I know Hannah was quite helpful at first as well, so I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. ;o)

Meanwhile, this little sweetie gave me two four-hour sleep periods last night--hallelujah, joy of joys! She continues to be quite spit-up-a-rific, seeming to lose the entire contents of her stomach at once. Okay, more like with three urps in a row, but still, it's coming back up after it's been down for a while. Having not dealt with this before with the other two, and being the crazy neurotic human I am, I'm of course worried sick about it. Yes, yes, I know it's perfectly normal for some kiddos, but still I worry. I know I was a big urper (according to Lissie), and I've heard of a number of others who were as well. I suppose as long as she's gaining weight and staying hydrated, I shouldn't worry too much. That is SO much easier said than done, lol.

I've been giving it some thought, and have determined these items could be the culprit:
1. Immature diaphragm still trying to figure out what it's doing
2. Overeating/overfeeding leading to an overfull tank that errupts
3. Sitting in her bouncer puts her in a position that puts all sorts of pressure on her tiny tummy, leading to urping.

My guess is it is a combination of the three. I'm hoping we see improvement within the next week (she's no longer doing this in her sleep), and we're no longer going to put her in her bouncer, as most of the times she has thrown-up have been sitting in her seat. We'll see.

And, just so you know, I was NEVER this neurotic with the other two. EVER. I'm convinced Hannah's loss has definitely affected the way I interact with this sweet baby. I know it changed the way I handle many, many situations involving Lily so it makes sense this would be the case. I just hope I can settle in once more and quit flipping out over every little thing.

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Some photos of the kiddos from yesterday:


Miles couldn't wait to get his hands on the baby. It was so sweet. :o)


I have photos of all the kiddos but Joss holding the baby. Crud. :o(

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Today's Sparklies:

1. It's FINALLY raining, thereby watering my gardens. Yay!
2. Maybe identifying the cause Ellie-bean's tummy difficulties.
3. Once again finding our way as a family.
4. Brien home with me all day.
5. Snuggling with the Bit this morning and the Bean this afternoon. :o)
6. Those soft cooing/purring noises babies make. Soft baby cheeks, tiny baby feeties.
7. The sound of Lily laughing.
8. Independent big girls. :o)

No milestones.

Family and Friends

(All together now, Awwwwwww! Isn't this the sweetest photo?)

Well, Ellie had a fitful night last night. She had a difficult time settling down and only finally truly went to sleep around 2:00 this morning. Oh, well. Needless to say I wasn't thrilled to be getting up at 7:00, but since my day revolves around her and feeding her, I knew if I wanted a shower I needed to do it then.

Brien and Lil left for church around 9:20 this morning (and I was insanely jealous. Isn't it funny how as a kid if I could have gotten out of going to church I would have been ecstatic and now I desperately wanted to go) and Lissie took off by 9:45 or 10:00. My friend Janet brought dinner over around 10:30 and Jen and her crew arrived around 11:00. Miss Ellie sure is a popular girlie. :o)

Brien and Lil got home close to noon (the homily was lengthy and there was an unanticipated baptism) and Nan and Pop soon followed. We had a wonderful visit and now everyone is off at Carrabba's getting some grub while B, Ellie and I chill at home. Yes, Mom and Dad volunteered to take Lil with them and B and I are chllin' with the baby.

I'm doing much much better. It would seem the hormones have leveled out and although the sleep deprivation is still there, I feel like I'm catching up some--even with last night. ;o) Brien is staying home with us this week and I'm really looking forward to it. I LOVE having him home with us and it will be nice to be able to find our way as our own little family.

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A funny Lily story to end this. Joss came running into the family room where all the adults were gathered and I heard Lil calling from behind her, "Jocelyn is coming to tattle on me!!" A preemptive tattle per chance? We never did find out what Joss was supposedly going to tattle about, but we all had a good laugh nonetheless. :oP

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Today's Sparklies:

1. Visits with family and friends.
2. Sweet, tiny babies and funny, sweet four year olds.
3. Watching Jen's kiddos hold and visit with the Bean.

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This time last week I was desperately bouncing on the yoga ball, trying to entice the Bean to exit. Upon reflection, I would have been better off napping, lol! It's hard to believe I was only hours away from going to the hospital and delivering. Life can change in just a matter of seconds, that's for sure.

A Breather

Someone (I'm so sorry, I can't remember who at the moment) asked for me to please post baby pictures of each of the girlies so you could see what they looked like. In the archives of the blog, the oldest photo of Lil is about 2 months. As for Hannah, we had a horrible computer crash when she was an infant and we lost all photos from birth to 3 months. It was awful, and all the more so now because the only pictures I have are those in her scrapbook. Hence, the photos of photos.

This photo is the Monkey at three days. Please note, that was one of the only times the child's hair EVER laid flat...

Here we see the Bit at 2 weeks.

The Bean at 3 days. Although she has some features that resemble Lily, mostly, she looks like her oldest sister.

I've been an emotional/hormonal mess the past few days (yes, yes, TMI, sorry). Those of you who have had babies know the emotional roller coaster you find yourself on once a new baby comes along. For me, it's made all the worse for starting yet another new chapter in our lives without Hannah to be a part of it. The fact Miss Bean looks so much like her sister is both a blessing and difficult. Yes, she is most definitely her own little person, but there are times when WOW! she looks like the Monkey. Yes, Lil has those moments too, but it's all the more stunning with such a new baby, making me remember all those early days with Han, trying to adjust to my new life. And, here I am, 9 years later(!) trying to adjust to yet another new facet of my life.

The hormonal upheaval, the sleep deprivation and the life changing event have sent me into a tailspin. My adjustment to life with Lily and Hannah was far easier. I was much more relaxed and had had much more sleep (I had a wonderful epidural with Lil and slept the entire night while laboring. It was amazing!) with Lily. I was more worried during my pregnancy with Ellie than I ever was with either Han or Lil. I'm more panicked about this tiny girlie than I ever was with the other two. I desperately need this baby to be perfect and whole and healthy. I've already lost one child, I don't know how I could ever survive the loss of another. Hence my anxiety levels maxing out over the tiniest of things--"She's not pooping enough" "OMG, did you see how much she just spit up? Do you think it could be pyloric stenosis?" etc. I've got to get a grip.

I maxed out on the stress on Wednesday. My hormones have leveled out, I'm getting sleep (she'll give us a good four hour stretch at night which is WONDERFUL and more than I was getting when pregnant), and I've been able to sit out in the sunshine. I'm beginning to find my way once again and I'm feeling SO much better. Whew. I'm even hoping to get out in the gardens tomorrow afternoon. I have tomato plants that desperately need to get in the ground, and my onions, beans and peas must be weeded.

As for the girlies, all is well. This is NOT the most flattering of photos, but here we have Ellie's most favorite of "hassies", the Soothie. Oy. Could she go for the cute little Ma'ams we have? Nope. It had to be the gas cap passie. :sigh: At least it keeps her happy, right? ;o)

She is a beautiful baby. Here coloring is incredible--that's not jaundice. She is truly that dark complected, taking after Brien. Those of you who have said it are absolutely right, she looks just like her daddy, as did the Monkey. Lily's my girl (thank goodness I got one who looks like me, lol!), blonde and fair like me.

At only a week old, Ellie is also quite placid and peaceful. Hannah was the same way--for the first two weeks, then she needed to be held all. the. time. Eek! Lily was also quite quiet and peaceful, only fussing when tired, and when she was, she wanted to be PUT DOWN. Nope, no holding a sleeping Bit--she was my "touch me not" baby, and still to this day not as into the "nuggles" as the Monkey was. I'm waiting to see what Ellie decides to do as she is definitely her own little person.

The one problem we do seem to have is the excessive spitting up. She is quite urpy and I'm hoping it's not reflux. :fingers crossed: If I can manage to get her to burp before a feeding and a couple of times during, we're good to go. I've also figured out she likes to gulp her food when ravenous and will overfill her tank, leading to copious amounts of fluid being regurgitated rather forcefully while she lies there sleeping. It's the oddest thing. For now I'm nursing her only on one side at a time, but feeding her more frequently (every two hours instead of every three) and this seems to be helping. :fingers crossed:

She is such a snuggly little bug. I could sit and hold her all day long. Oh how sweet and tiny and perfect. Her hands are the most graceful things, with long elegant fingers and beautiful oval nails. She also has skinny skinny feet and legs and no bottom to speak of. We're going to have to fatten this baby up, lol!

Lily is my little shadow. She is curious about everything to do with Ellie, but won't ask to hold her. If you offer, she'll readily--and happily--accept, and will run and fetch whatever I ask of her. She is my diaper patrol, taking care of trashing the dirties, and she wants her baby sister to be happy so she will sing to her and try to cheer her using stuffies and loveys. She has found one of her baby blankets and begun to carry it around and sleep with it--in an effort to be like Ellie? Who knows. I do know her world has been turned topsy turvy this week and she's holding up well.

Jessie and her gang came for a day trip yesterday, so she and Ella had a chance to play and she and Gabe-man a chance to fight. ;oP Gracie looks like a giant of a baby next to Miss Bean, but is still so tiny herself. It's amazing how quickly they change!

Oh, and before I forget, a quick funny Lil story. Mom and Lil were waiting for me in the hospital lobby on Thursday (I was at a support class) and people kept walking by saying things like, "Well hi, Lily!" or "How are you today, Lily?" Poor Lissie was trying to figure out how all these people knew the Bit and was perplexed until she realized Lily had written her name on a piece of paper and was holding it up in front of her as people walked past. :oP

I'm feeling sorry for Brien, as Lily is once more rather indifferent to him. I managed to coax her out with him this morning for a trip to the hardware store (they both LOVE the hardware store), the 'Jay and then BK. To be fair, Lil is truly a homebody who prefers to stay home, so I'm glad she got some alone time with her daddy. :o)

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Sparklies:
1. Waylen was here to greet the newest family member, and as with the other two, seems smitten. Of course, he likes them bunches when they are tiny and can do NOTHING to him, lol! Here is Buddy Dog taking it easy:
2. Getting good sleep. Hooray!
3. A cute baby to "nuggle" and cuddle.
4. A super big helper girl. It's funny how they go from seeming so young to so grown up within hours of having a baby.
5. My teaching family has been bringing the most delicious meals this week. Sr. Rose is the meal bearer this evening and I'm looking forward to the pork roast and potatoes she's bringing. :o) They sure are taking good care of us, aren't they?
6. My mother, who is not a fan of cartoons or Disney movies requested we watch "Tiana" again this morning after having watched it last night. Needless to say I was shocked. I mean, I think it's a wonderful movie, but wow, Lissie did too!
7. Life beginning to feel more "normal" once more.
8. We received the most beautiful quilt from Cheryll and L.T. today. And, they sent Lil her very own Tarjay gift card. :o)
9. Oh, yes, Lil told me last night she wants to be a paleontologist, teacher and princess when she grows up. :o)

Milestones:
A new baby. I'd say that's particularly noteworthy. That, and I've changed the blog's name. I had to chuckle at Lindsay's suggestion because that was EXACTLY what I had decided to do. Hee hee!

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As time has permitted, I've been peeking in on you all, I just haven't had time to comment like I typically do. It's amazing how much time such a small being needs.

Right Now in My Home

Sorry, No Pictures

I just wanted to write an update about what is happening around here. After all, this is the journal I keep and hope my kiddos look back on some day.

Sunday evening to Monday morning was long. Since I was only 1 cm dilated, and not in labor, it was decided I was not leaving the hospital, but could choose to start a Pitocin drip that night or in the morning. Now, having gone through labor and delivery of Hannah with Pitocin and no pain meds, I began to have some major anxiety issues. Thinking it through, B and I decided I wouldn't be sleeping either way, so we might as well start the Pit. Being that it's a hospital, even though the decision was made at 10:00 that evening, the Pit didn't get started until midnight. Time is sure different in medical settings.

I was finally in a decent rhythm of contractions and ready for my epidural, the anesthesiologist was at my back, ready to insert it and he was called off to the OR. OMG! I thought I was going to start crying on the spot. I spent the next 45 minutes contracting sans drugs and holy cow did it HURT! Poor B. I was constantly grasping two of his fingers and even broke the capillaries in one of them. Eek! I finally looked at my nurse and practically begged her to help me. She ran to get the doctor who came back and finally helped me out. Guess what--I had progressed from a tight 3 cm to 7 cm (fully effaced!) in those 45 minutes the doctor was gone. Whoa! No wonder it hurt!

I progressed from 7 to 10 in less than an hour, pushed for about 30 minutes and there was Miss Ellie. Because she was born so quickly, and was in the birth canal for such a short period of time, she was LOADED with amniotic fluid so they took her from me to monitor her breathing. Folks, I was ready to barge into the nursery and DEMAND my baby when 10:30 came and went and she still wasn't in my arms. We hadn't been able to try to establish a latch or anything up to that point. I hadn't had a moment to look at her and admire everything about her and I was going crazy. Yes, I had held her (briefly), but then she was gone.

She finally came to me, we got her to latch on (thank goodness), and I got to strip her and admire her. Folks, she is one TEENY TINY baby. She is nothing but skin and bones (Pop told me he and Lil had read "The Saggy Baggy Elephant" the night before and it seemed fitting somehow...) and dry dry skin. She has the look of a post-due baby but in tiny proportions. But, oh, is she sweet. She is the sweetest thing. So quiet and laid-back. There is a cacophony of sound right now and she's still snoozing peacefully. She is also beautiful with her head full of hair and big blue eyes. She is dark complected unlike either Hannah or Lil, but boy does she look like the two of them. Wow.

I came home yesterday--thank goodness--so I could try and get more rest/sleep. I was up from 7 a.m. Sunday morning until 11:00 Monday night with no sleep. Sleep deprivation is NOT a good thing. Then, of course, when you're in the hospital, they have to take your vitals and the baby's vitals every four hours, but then, Ellie and I weren't on the same rotation, so there were people in and out all night. Then, the phlebotomist came in at 5:00, flipped on the fluorescents to stick me. Did I mention we had all been trying to sleep at that point?? Ay yi yi.

For now, I'm still tired. I figured out why this feels so different from Lil's. With Lil's birth, it was as if I came home and she slipped right in. With her birth, I had sleep. Lots of it as a matter of fact. With Ellie, I'm in a sleep deficit and struggling to function. I hate that. I'm trying to be patient (have I mentioned I'm not?) and wait two weeks to see what sort of rhythm and routine my day is going to fall in. I NEED routine and at the moment I just don't have one. So, I'm trying to take it easy, rest, play with the Bit, snuggle my new baby. These days of teeny tinyness are so short I don't wish them away for anything.

Other items of note:
*I slept on my stomach for the first time in MONTHS and it was wonderful. :happy sigh:
*My milk has come in. Yay!
*Lil and I did manis and pedis yesterday afternoon. She now has some beautifully sparkly purple finger and toe nails.
*B has decided to head to work for the rest of this week so he may be home with me next week when Lissie is gone.
*Have I mentioned before I have a VERY hard time "taking it easy"? There is just SO much that needs to be done...I'm not doing it, though.
*I had to take Miss Ellie in for a heel stick this morning to check her bilirubin levels--breast fed baby and all.
*According to the scale at the breastfeeding support group this morning, Ellie has regained her birth weight. Yes!
*Lily is SUCH a helpful big sister. She wants to be a part of everything we do with Ellie. I mean everything...
*Ellie looks stunningly like Hannah. Yes, I see some Lil in her as well, but really, the Han is what you see most. Lissie and I were talking and both agree we find comfort in that. We were also saying we hope Ellie doesn't hear, "You look just like your sister, Hannah" for the rest of her life. Can you imaging being born to a family with a sister you never got to know or meet and always being told you look just like her? That would be tough. I'm going to be have to be VERY careful...
*B also commented on how much Ellie looks like Han and said, "Now if Ellie grows up to have imaginary friends named Ron and Pablo, we're in trouble." ;o)
*My coworkers are going to start bringing in meals for us. Isn't that beyond sweet? :o) I love my school SOOOOO much! :o)

It would seem a tiny baby would like some nourishment, so I'm off. Thank you all for the kind words and well-wishes. We think our family is beyond wonderful. :o)

SHE'S HERE!!

The reason last night's post was so abbreviated was because we were making plans to drive to the hospital. My water broke on the super long walk and we wanted to be sure it was my water breaking before I put anything out there.

We arrived, were admitted, induced at midnight and delivered at 6:40 this morning. Miss Eleanor Jane arrived weighing 6 pounds 9 ounces and was 19.5" long. I told you I have tiny babies. ;o) So, without further ado, I present the Ellie Bean. :o)





She is a beautiful mix of both Hannah and Lily and with a bit of her own thrown in, with Lil's mouth, Han's eyes (and hair!) and her own little chin.

Yes, I'm posting from the hospital, but I knew you were all anxiously awaiting, and I couldn't WAIT to share! Please know I would LOVE to be visiting all my blogs and such, I'm going to be quite busy for a few days. Please know I'm thinking about you all and appreciate SOOOOO very much all your prayers and positive thoughts these last couple of weeks. You are an amazing group of people! :o)