Of course, I'm soon to be paying for this lack as my house is a wreck and filthy and cluttered and I'm about to lose my mind as a result. I loathe cleaning and decluttering and straightening, I really do. And yet, I become so frazzled and frantic when the house is a wreck I can hardly see straight. Damned if I do and damned if I don't, no?
In fact, as I sit here looking at the wreck that is my living room, I feel guilty for sitting here typing instead of cleaning. I hate that guilt. I want to be comfortable allowing myself one more day of laziness and break. Why can't I do that?? UGH!
Aaaaand, this post completely took an unexpected turn. :oS But, I suppose it fits the theme of what I had planned to write about. It's a new year, and once again, a time of new beginnings.
I glut myself on candy and sugar and butter and fat and junk from Thanksgiving through the end of Christmas, and by the time it's over, I'm craving fresh fruits and veggies. I'm longing to get out and get moving. Last year I made it through March before I fell off my wagon with exercise. Then, in June, I lost the food motivation--which is silly given the plethora of fresh fruits and veggies available.
I want to make it past three and six months this year. More movement, back to better food choices and a healthier me. I think it all comes back to my inherent laziness. It's easier to not do than to do once you're out of the habit. I feel so much better when I move and work out (once I'm in shape--so proud of myself, such fantastic endorphins) and I want to get there. I'm starting small--walking around the neighborhood with Ellie every morning. It gets us both out of the house--keeps her out so the house stays neater longer--and out into nature. This has been such a mild winter
I'm going to get back to Jillian and let her kick my patootie once more. It's twenty minutes for crying out loud. I can do anything for twenty minutes (although I confess to dreading the initial days and the pain that comes with it).
As I have said before, it's not about weight loss (to me, my family seems to be waaaay too obsessed with weight), it's about my overall health. I want to be healthier and gosh darnit, I WILL be.
I also want to be a better wife and mother. I love my girls and husband with all my heart, but sometimes I think I don't put them first when I should. I need to be a better listener--I'm often guilty of hearing, but not actually listening. I need to be more patient and understanding with all three of them.
If I put down the computer when they're around, that should help quite a bit. Email in the morning--first thing--and then at nap time and bedtime should be more than enough. Blogging during nap and then filling in sparklies at bedtime should be sufficient. If bedtime is at 7:30, thirty additional minutes afterward should give me enough time to play around on the 'net. Surely.
All of my goals seem to be intertwined within one another. Less computer time means more time to exercise and be with my family. Being with my family more means better listening and more time interacting with them. One thing leads to another for a better life. And, ultimately, that's my goal, a better life for ALL of us. :o)
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Today's Sparklies:
1. Sleeping in until 8:00--unheard of in this house!
2. I have finished four novels in the past week. Do you have any idea how amazing that is?? Sure, the house is about to fall down around my ears, but man, I got to sit and read!
3. Lil's creative side coming to the front today--she wrote cards to both Santa and Fisbee, cut snowflakes to put in the cards, and made a book for Santa. I think she misses our elf.
4. One more day with my family all at home with me. I'm going to miss them tomorrow.
5. Lil's excitement to go back to school. Yes, I'm going to miss her, but she has certainly missed her friends.
6. Brien cleaned out the fridge for me. Thank you, sweetie.
No milestones.
It came to me yesterday that we have had five Christmases without Hannah. I had six Christmases with her. I can't tell you how awful it is to realize I'll soon have more time without her than the time I had with her. :o
7 comments:
Oh, Rach. I wish I could help you with that guilt, but I can't. One thing that I CAN tell you, is that relaxing and spending time with your family is way more important than keeping a clean house. When my kids were growing up, I was always frantically cleaning up messes. I can't stand clutter and messes either! Now that my kids are grown, trust me=they dont care at all that they grew up in a tidy house!!
Good thing my daughter didn't get my "bug"! Her house is always "lived in", and I tell her over and over how happy I am that she finds more important things to do than clean. They keep the dishes done, and the laundry, but you can certainly tell that children live there! I love it. Free time means puzzles and crafts and family movies.
Taking time for "you" will be one of the most valuable lessons you can teach those girls. Close your eyes to the clutter!!
Happy New Year to all of you. And always, always blessings for the Love of Hannah....
I am with you! I have relaxed big time. Ate everything in sight and didn't clean.
Today we sprang into action. took down and put away all of the Christmas decor. We hauled two huge loads to Goodwill. Ryan helped with the kitchen so there is at least a small patch of clean tonight. :) we loaded up on healthy foods at Costco. I am so ready for fruits and veggies too! I need to be more attentive too. I am glued to my phone or iPad. You are right, there is plenty of off time to be online.
Sorry about your milestone. That stinks. :(
Hi Rach! Just wanted to say that on the weight loss front that maybe you need to start out with walking a whole lot. Its a great, fabulous, awesome, way to shed some weight and it wont hurt you. I have done the Shred videos too and they pretty rough...and eventually kill my knees and I am an avid runner and work out person (lost my weight on Weight Watchers and have kept most of it off, but still go to my meeting on Sat)
Hurting, while trying to get your body to a good place, isn't really the way to go. Eventually, one gets real tired of not feeling good b/c of whatever injury has flared up at the moment, and it becomes a self defeating pastime. If you are doing something you LOVE (like walking for an hour in your beautiful outdoor path)- you will want to do it and even miss it when you cant do a day. I just know (from years of struggling with my weight) that if you aren't doing something enjoyable, you will eventually quit. And let me tell you Jillian is not enjoyable every single day...I think she is too harsh for most people's bodies too. She is a great filler for like a 2x or 3x a week thing but not every day...start slow:)
So sorry to ramble on and on and on but I just wanted to throw my 2 cents in...bc I dont want you to hurt or to give up.
Good luck. YOU can totally do this:) In the end, its the best gift you can give yourself.
Cheering you on from the Windy City!
You Go Girl,
amy W
Happy New Year! I have also eaten waaay too much food and not exercised enough-I'm starting the Sugar Solution 28 day diet to get back on track with healthy eating. I also plan to start running again and am trying to find a spring race to register for. One suggestion, besides the Shred, is for you and Ellie to immediately take a long walk or start the couch to 5K program (Mark did the couch to 10K and ran a 10 mile race about 2-3 months later), after the bus picks up Lil. You're already outside and dressed, might as well exercise if it isn't raining. Can't wait to see you next month :)
Hope Lil's first day back was great! Hope your first day back to "normal" was great too!
You know, I'm thinking that Jillian is just not workable for me on the foot thing (don't want to push it and go "CRACK" once again) but I'm thinking that the treadmill should do me just fine. I need to have Hubs show me how to work it. (It has bells and whistles, but we have a TV with it, so I won't be bored to tears.) I just need to go forth and move. I'm with you. Shall we have a once a week accountability e-mail? Let me know if you are game. I do much better when I have to apologize to someone for my having to bag out.
My food eating has basically been the same, with some drive thru pit falls. Still, it is our family want to eat more healthy and more whole grain and whole foods. We're better than we were last year, but we need to improve even more. The metabolism isn't getting better with age.
Jillian. :giggle: Yup. I remember that.
First, a hug for your stress over family and self vs. keeping up the order of life. Next a hug so you will stop beating yourself up over the fitness challenge ... We all struggle with ebbs and glows. Lastly, a huge hug to get you through this milestone and the next.
We hear you.
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