One Year Ago Today

I was browsing through my photo archives, enjoying the girls and how things have changed over the course of the past few years.  Last year at this time, it was still fairly chilly out (not like the GORGEOUS 70 it is today), and Lil was still home with me.  We were working on Mommy School and cooking and baking and face painting, and really just having a jolly time of it. 

 Of course, it wasn't all good times, but the bad ones don't stick in your memory quite as much. 

I look at my girlie here, and I can say she hasn't changed that much in the past year.  Sure, she's grown taller and gained some weight.  She's lost a tooth (or five) and learned to read and do math and all sorts of amazing things, but she still looks like Lily Bit here. 

(The house has changed significantly from these photos--no more red kitchen and gold living room.  No more icky carpet!)

But, the Bean, oh my Beanie.  She has CHANGED.  Yes, I can say she still looks like this (at least her little face does).  But, she's not as plump (if you can call the teeny Beanie "plump"). 

Sure, she still helps herself to snacks which she then distributes all over the table (or floor--but notsomuch the floor any more since she isn't fond of sharing with Holly), but she's so much more.  She's walking (although she was actually beginning to walk here), talking, has teeth and hair.  She's no longer nursing and sleeps through the night.  She is into coloring (not just herself, but paper and pictures) and painting and books.  Lordy mercy how the girlie loves her some books. 

Babies change so quickly the first two or three years.  Then, the changes aren't as obvious or evident, they're more subtle and gradual.  I miss my babies.  I love the roly poly stages, the gumminess, the baldness (when did the child's hair fall out?!?).  I miss my snuggly babies (oh, who am I kidding?!?  Bitty and El never were much for snuggling.  Hannah on the other hand...), but I so enjoy them as they get older.

I love watching words come alive for Lil.  She is becoming quite the reader and her math skills are unbelievable.  :o)  I love that she's old enough and has the manual dexterity to work on crafts and cook.  I love her songs and jokes (okay, maybe not the jokes sometimes) and the fact that she is still a kitty most afternoons and evenings. 

I love that Ellie is communicating and running!  I love her fierce little independent streak (although, it is rather frustrating when she wants to do something herself and I'm in a hurry and so I do it and then she undoes whatever I've done only to redo it herself) and her love and enjoyment of bocks.  I love watching her discover and learn about the world around her (the child can now identify most of her colors and a circle, heart, flower, cross, star, triangle, square, "O", "E", and "L").  I love seeing the pleasure she gets from listening to music (she "sings" along and claps in time--she at least seems to have some rhythm (poor Bitty)) and her dancing has to bee seen to be believed. 

Children are small and young for such a small period of time.  Sometimes I forget this and need the reminder of photos in archives.  I need to remember to be more patient and understanding.  I need to remember I'm not promised tomorrow and to enjoy today. 

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Sparklies:

1.  Holy smokes was our walk this morning unbelievably stunning!  I was out in short sleeves and thin yoga-type pants and I was comfortable.  The sun, the birds singing, the deer (saw two of 'em!), the ducks, all of it wonderful.
2.  Ellie in her pettiskirt.  It seems she is following in Lil's footsteps and loving being in skirts.  No complaints here.
3.  So, we keep plugging through the backlog of "The Big Bang Theory" episodes and I've figured out I'm married to Sheldon.  Okay, not quite as bad as Sheldon, but Brien definitely has some Sheldon-esque tendencies.  :oP
4.  Audiobooks.  They make housework so much more enjoyable.
5.  Flowers are popping up all over the place!  I have Johnny Jump-Ups and daffodils blooming, and all the daylilies seem to be coming out of hibernation and sending up green.  Spring is going to be here before we know it!

Milestones:
Looking back at the girls and missing Hannah.  I can look back, but I can't compare her to "today", and that really hurts.  I often wonder what she would be like, my big fifth grader.  Would she be a nice girl or a mean one?  Would she be a friend to all or would she constantly have her feelings hurt and stepped on?  Would I be going mad with her over her school work and bed room and clothes?  Would she be a big help around the house and with her sisters? 

I HATE not having answers.  I HATE having to try to decide for myself what she would be like and how she would look. 

I haven't had a down yo in what seems like forever, and this isn't a down yo so much as just a sad-ish moment.  There's so much I'm missing, so much that will never be.  Lil has passed so many of Hannah's milestones--teeth and six to name two--and soon will be passing even more.  And, before I know it, Ellie will follow.  Time passes but Hannah remains the same little five almost six year old girl.