Self Awareness and Improvement

Life continues to plod along here.  Life is life and we're busy living it, but really, nothing too exciting.  To spice things up a bit, I decided to take another spin through the archives, closed my eyes and clicked.  I found this.  Look at that sweet face!  She truly hasn't changed that much since her hair came in. ;o)  Same nose, same eyes, same sweet cheeks and chin. 

She's growing and changing, my Bitty, but in some respects she's still the same.  I was talking with Lissie this afternoon and she was asking about my girl and how school is going.  We started talking about what a truly sweet child she is and it made me stop and think for a bit.

My Lenten sacrifice isn't a sacrifice so much as a self-improvement.  I've given up yelling.  All forms of it--be it at someone or to just shout it's time to come eat.  It's terrible.  It's destructive.  It does nothing but make situations more complicated.  It's making me stop and think when I'm angry instead of just reacting.  This isn't a bad thing.

I bring this up because so often, Lil seemed to take the brunt of the anger.  I fail to remember she's just a little kid.  She's only six, for pete's sake!  She is going to make mistakes and that is her job.  The important thing is she learn from those mistakes.  However, I get so wrapped around the axle about keeping the house clean and neat and making sure we're on time and on task and focused that I lose sight of these things and pop off.  I'm embarrassed to even be writing this.  :oS

But, through this "sacrifice", I'm adjusting, making changes, making better choices with my words and the way in which I interact with my family.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not ALWAYS a yeller, but there are moments that are burned in my memory that I'm not proud of.  I don't want Lily and Ellie to remember me as the mommy who yelled all the time (I don't, I swear I don't, but when you're a little kid, it must seem that way sometimes).  Thus, 40+ days of change.  It takes 30 days to change a habit?  Well, sign me up!

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So, about my Bitty.  :o) She loves school. Her reading and writing are really coming along.  She reads to me daily and has quite the sight word vocabulary.  However, math and science are her favorite subjects by far.  She is still easily frustrated by those things she finds challenging and I find myself nudging her along to try her had at problem solving instead of just giving up, or worse, shutting down. 

One thing Lil has had to learn this year is that not everyone is going to be your friend and want to play with you--even those children you consider your friend.  We've had quite a bit of discussion about this as we deal with a couple of little girls in her class.  Bitty met G at the beginning of the year before school started and fell in love.  G was going to be her new best friend!  Lil came home the first weeks and month of school full of excitement and joy and stories of playing with G.  But, as the year has progressed, G has become good friends with C, who for whatever reason doesn't seem to like Lily.  Last night at dinner I asked Lil who was fun to play with at school that day.  She rattled off a long list of boys' names(!) and said they had fun building things in the sandbox.  Excellent!  Then, she told me she had wanted to play with G and C but they wouldn't let her.  :sigh: 

Why? Why must children do this to one another?  I don't butt in (there's no point in it as it would accomplish nothing other than being a buttinski parent), but I do gently suggest to Lil that she find other children to play with.  We've been having this conversation since the beginning of December, and I think she's finally getting it.  She is no longer devastated if G doesn't want to play with her.  Instead, she traipses off to find somebody else to play with.  This makes me happy.  I'm sad she is somewhat ostracized, but happy she's working her way around it. 

Boy, being a little kid is tough work!

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Sparklies:

1.  My friend Courtney is going to have her baby any day now!  She was due Sunday, but Miss Baby isn't ready to come out just yet.  I'm holding out for tomorrow so she can be born on Leap Day. ;o)
2.  Even though I'm feeling rather rotten (what is it about a cold that can lay you out flat?), I still managed to get out and get moving this morning.  I always feel better when I can get out and exercise for a bit.
3.  The ladybugs I've been seeing on our walks.
4.  I saw deer tracks going across the path today.  AND, Beanie and I saw two white tail deer the other morning.
5.  Working in the offudio!  Hooray! I'm working on one of those New Years goals!

No milestones.