Self Awareness and Improvement

Life continues to plod along here.  Life is life and we're busy living it, but really, nothing too exciting.  To spice things up a bit, I decided to take another spin through the archives, closed my eyes and clicked.  I found this.  Look at that sweet face!  She truly hasn't changed that much since her hair came in. ;o)  Same nose, same eyes, same sweet cheeks and chin. 

She's growing and changing, my Bitty, but in some respects she's still the same.  I was talking with Lissie this afternoon and she was asking about my girl and how school is going.  We started talking about what a truly sweet child she is and it made me stop and think for a bit.

My Lenten sacrifice isn't a sacrifice so much as a self-improvement.  I've given up yelling.  All forms of it--be it at someone or to just shout it's time to come eat.  It's terrible.  It's destructive.  It does nothing but make situations more complicated.  It's making me stop and think when I'm angry instead of just reacting.  This isn't a bad thing.

I bring this up because so often, Lil seemed to take the brunt of the anger.  I fail to remember she's just a little kid.  She's only six, for pete's sake!  She is going to make mistakes and that is her job.  The important thing is she learn from those mistakes.  However, I get so wrapped around the axle about keeping the house clean and neat and making sure we're on time and on task and focused that I lose sight of these things and pop off.  I'm embarrassed to even be writing this.  :oS

But, through this "sacrifice", I'm adjusting, making changes, making better choices with my words and the way in which I interact with my family.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not ALWAYS a yeller, but there are moments that are burned in my memory that I'm not proud of.  I don't want Lily and Ellie to remember me as the mommy who yelled all the time (I don't, I swear I don't, but when you're a little kid, it must seem that way sometimes).  Thus, 40+ days of change.  It takes 30 days to change a habit?  Well, sign me up!

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So, about my Bitty.  :o) She loves school. Her reading and writing are really coming along.  She reads to me daily and has quite the sight word vocabulary.  However, math and science are her favorite subjects by far.  She is still easily frustrated by those things she finds challenging and I find myself nudging her along to try her had at problem solving instead of just giving up, or worse, shutting down. 

One thing Lil has had to learn this year is that not everyone is going to be your friend and want to play with you--even those children you consider your friend.  We've had quite a bit of discussion about this as we deal with a couple of little girls in her class.  Bitty met G at the beginning of the year before school started and fell in love.  G was going to be her new best friend!  Lil came home the first weeks and month of school full of excitement and joy and stories of playing with G.  But, as the year has progressed, G has become good friends with C, who for whatever reason doesn't seem to like Lily.  Last night at dinner I asked Lil who was fun to play with at school that day.  She rattled off a long list of boys' names(!) and said they had fun building things in the sandbox.  Excellent!  Then, she told me she had wanted to play with G and C but they wouldn't let her.  :sigh: 

Why? Why must children do this to one another?  I don't butt in (there's no point in it as it would accomplish nothing other than being a buttinski parent), but I do gently suggest to Lil that she find other children to play with.  We've been having this conversation since the beginning of December, and I think she's finally getting it.  She is no longer devastated if G doesn't want to play with her.  Instead, she traipses off to find somebody else to play with.  This makes me happy.  I'm sad she is somewhat ostracized, but happy she's working her way around it. 

Boy, being a little kid is tough work!

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Sparklies:

1.  My friend Courtney is going to have her baby any day now!  She was due Sunday, but Miss Baby isn't ready to come out just yet.  I'm holding out for tomorrow so she can be born on Leap Day. ;o)
2.  Even though I'm feeling rather rotten (what is it about a cold that can lay you out flat?), I still managed to get out and get moving this morning.  I always feel better when I can get out and exercise for a bit.
3.  The ladybugs I've been seeing on our walks.
4.  I saw deer tracks going across the path today.  AND, Beanie and I saw two white tail deer the other morning.
5.  Working in the offudio!  Hooray! I'm working on one of those New Years goals!

No milestones.

Weekend Wrap-Up

While we spent Saturday morning boring the girls to tears with a trip to Lowe's, I made it up to Lil Saturday afternoon. 

While Ellie napped, I ran out to do a couple errands.  While at JoAnn, I found Suncatchers--and I hadn't seen them in years!

Remembering them fondly, I picked up a couple--one for Lil (kitties, of course!), and one fore me.

I wanted to be able to show Bitty what to do without working on her suncatcher. 

And, to be honest, I wanted to have a moment of peace and fun with my girl. :o)

She did an excellent job keeping the colors separated and picking up all the little extraneous plastic pellets.

And, even better, she didn't copy the picture on the package, she did it all herself. :o)

I think they came out pretty sweet.  :o)  Bitty's is hanging in her bedroom window.

I decided to hang mine in the kitchen window where I see it every time I wash dishes, and can remember my afternoon spent with my girl. :o)

This is a photo from my living room Friday evening.  Isn't it lovely?  We had gale force winds and thunderstorms and the power went out. 

It was hot Friday (80+ degrees), so the cool breeze (if that wind can be called that) blowing in through the windows once the storms had passed was lovely. 

The peepers were going crazy and I sat in my window filming:

Friday morning it was 70 degrees by the time Ellie and I hit the trail. There were TONS of folks out enjoying the summer-like weather as well. I haven't seen that many people in one day.  The little field of daffodils I found is going to burst into bloom within a couple days.  I'm desperate to get out and check it out soon.  I can't go Monday since Ellie and I have errands to run, but Tuesday it is, weather permitting.

Meanwhile, my little daffodils are coming up!  They're only about 4" tall, and about an inch wide, but they're so sweet. :o)

When we were out walking Friday morning, I took a trail I've not walked since April 18, 2010, the day my water broke with Ellie.  The woods are FULL of water right now and the retention ponds are filled.  This little guy had popped out to sun himself and enjoy those warm temps as well.

And, one of my favorite views when we walk that part of the trail.  I've seen great blue herons, snowy egrets, Canada geese, and mallards over here.  I would love to just stand and watch, but well, Ellie gets a bit impatient with me so we must move on. 

I know my routine will have to change once summer arrives and brings with it its intense heat and humidity.  I'm making plans, though.  I hope to get up with the girls and get out the door early with Beanie in the stroller and Lil on her bike.  I don't know for positive what will happen, but I do know I don't want to lose this momentum and the peace I find taking my walks. 

There are definitely times when I don't want to get out and get going, but once I've done so I'm always so happy I did.  I feel good and recharged and refreshed.  It's amazing what our bodies are capable of doing.  :o)

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Sparklies:

1.  Suncatchers with Lil.
2.  Italian pot roast for dinner.  We've not had that in so long and it is SO delicious!
3.  Time to make cards.  Yay!
4.  "October Sky".  I do so love that movie and haven't seen it in a long long while. We're watching it even as I type.
5.  Wonderful neighbors.  Alicia and Sadie came over to play with Lil and now they're over at Alicia's. 
6.  We're out of milk and I didn't get to stop on the way home this afternoon, but Bev had to go out to the 'jay and she picked up a gallon for me.  I do love my neighborhood. :o)

No milestones. 

One Year Ago Today

I was browsing through my photo archives, enjoying the girls and how things have changed over the course of the past few years.  Last year at this time, it was still fairly chilly out (not like the GORGEOUS 70 it is today), and Lil was still home with me.  We were working on Mommy School and cooking and baking and face painting, and really just having a jolly time of it. 

 Of course, it wasn't all good times, but the bad ones don't stick in your memory quite as much. 

I look at my girlie here, and I can say she hasn't changed that much in the past year.  Sure, she's grown taller and gained some weight.  She's lost a tooth (or five) and learned to read and do math and all sorts of amazing things, but she still looks like Lily Bit here. 

(The house has changed significantly from these photos--no more red kitchen and gold living room.  No more icky carpet!)

But, the Bean, oh my Beanie.  She has CHANGED.  Yes, I can say she still looks like this (at least her little face does).  But, she's not as plump (if you can call the teeny Beanie "plump"). 

Sure, she still helps herself to snacks which she then distributes all over the table (or floor--but notsomuch the floor any more since she isn't fond of sharing with Holly), but she's so much more.  She's walking (although she was actually beginning to walk here), talking, has teeth and hair.  She's no longer nursing and sleeps through the night.  She is into coloring (not just herself, but paper and pictures) and painting and books.  Lordy mercy how the girlie loves her some books. 

Babies change so quickly the first two or three years.  Then, the changes aren't as obvious or evident, they're more subtle and gradual.  I miss my babies.  I love the roly poly stages, the gumminess, the baldness (when did the child's hair fall out?!?).  I miss my snuggly babies (oh, who am I kidding?!?  Bitty and El never were much for snuggling.  Hannah on the other hand...), but I so enjoy them as they get older.

I love watching words come alive for Lil.  She is becoming quite the reader and her math skills are unbelievable.  :o)  I love that she's old enough and has the manual dexterity to work on crafts and cook.  I love her songs and jokes (okay, maybe not the jokes sometimes) and the fact that she is still a kitty most afternoons and evenings. 

I love that Ellie is communicating and running!  I love her fierce little independent streak (although, it is rather frustrating when she wants to do something herself and I'm in a hurry and so I do it and then she undoes whatever I've done only to redo it herself) and her love and enjoyment of bocks.  I love watching her discover and learn about the world around her (the child can now identify most of her colors and a circle, heart, flower, cross, star, triangle, square, "O", "E", and "L").  I love seeing the pleasure she gets from listening to music (she "sings" along and claps in time--she at least seems to have some rhythm (poor Bitty)) and her dancing has to bee seen to be believed. 

Children are small and young for such a small period of time.  Sometimes I forget this and need the reminder of photos in archives.  I need to remember to be more patient and understanding.  I need to remember I'm not promised tomorrow and to enjoy today. 

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Sparklies:

1.  Holy smokes was our walk this morning unbelievably stunning!  I was out in short sleeves and thin yoga-type pants and I was comfortable.  The sun, the birds singing, the deer (saw two of 'em!), the ducks, all of it wonderful.
2.  Ellie in her pettiskirt.  It seems she is following in Lil's footsteps and loving being in skirts.  No complaints here.
3.  So, we keep plugging through the backlog of "The Big Bang Theory" episodes and I've figured out I'm married to Sheldon.  Okay, not quite as bad as Sheldon, but Brien definitely has some Sheldon-esque tendencies.  :oP
4.  Audiobooks.  They make housework so much more enjoyable.
5.  Flowers are popping up all over the place!  I have Johnny Jump-Ups and daffodils blooming, and all the daylilies seem to be coming out of hibernation and sending up green.  Spring is going to be here before we know it!

Milestones:
Looking back at the girls and missing Hannah.  I can look back, but I can't compare her to "today", and that really hurts.  I often wonder what she would be like, my big fifth grader.  Would she be a nice girl or a mean one?  Would she be a friend to all or would she constantly have her feelings hurt and stepped on?  Would I be going mad with her over her school work and bed room and clothes?  Would she be a big help around the house and with her sisters? 

I HATE not having answers.  I HATE having to try to decide for myself what she would be like and how she would look. 

I haven't had a down yo in what seems like forever, and this isn't a down yo so much as just a sad-ish moment.  There's so much I'm missing, so much that will never be.  Lil has passed so many of Hannah's milestones--teeth and six to name two--and soon will be passing even more.  And, before I know it, Ellie will follow.  Time passes but Hannah remains the same little five almost six year old girl. 

Sleeping Cutie and Other Random Photos

 As Beanie and I walked yesterday, there were still pockets of snow lingering here and there.  I thought the pattern of melting on this bridge was really cool.  You can actually see where the sun and shadows play on the snow there. 

It was a cold morning (note the ice on the water) but not frigid.  I was out in just a long sleeved shirt and sweats (I get toasty once I start moving at a good clip).  However, I wanted to make sure Beanie was nice and snug since she doesn't get out and move.

She had a hat, scarf, mittens, warm coat and blanket and she was snuggled up quite nicely in her little stroller nest.  The shades (she put them on herself, can you tell?) were the finishing touches on her comfort and she was content and comfy for our walk (we did a little over 3 miles).

I thought it was rather odd when I strolled up the driveway and into the garage and I didn't hear a little voice say, "Okay.  All done.  I get down!"  I approached the front of the stroller with a bit of dread and found this.  Okay, not too bad, except she didn't respond to me.  I pushed up the glasses and found this:

Oh dear.  This was NOT good.  If she naps in the morning I can pretty much kiss an afternoon nap good bye.  And, that was the case.  We had the church pancake supper last night (our Knights of Columbus hosts and puts it on, and Brien's a knight, so he had to be there the entire time), and I knew it would be a late night for the girls (when your bedtime is 7:00 or 7:30, anything past that is considered late).  

Miss Bean was wound up tighter than a terrier with an espresso.  Holy smokes.  She was a live wire!  Thank goodness a couple of her big girl friends were there to play with her.  Whew! We all ate our pancakes (we each had three--the knights were quite impressed with El's skills in throwing down some panpakes) and then there was dessert!  Lil almost died with pleasure--ice cream and cookies.  Oooooh.  :o)

While Ellie played with the big girls, Lil and I sat and chatted with Will and Christy and Claire.  I would say a good time was had by all. :o)

Today, though, I'm finding I'm rather hungry. I've never had to fast for Ash Wednesday before.  Two years ago I was pregnant and last year I was nursing.  This year, no excuses.  I've had a cup of coffee and a cereal bar and that's all. Good thing I pigged out last night.  "Fat Tuesday" makes a lot more sense to me now. ;o)

It is Ash Wednesday, and it is the start of the Lenten season.  I'm still thinking about a Lenten sacrifice.  It isn't demanded of us, and I know I want to work on my spirituality and growth, but I'm not sure what to "give up".  I want it to be something that is truly a "sacrifice", something that is meaningful.  While I would LOVE to give up housework, I don't think that's quite in the spirit of things. 

So, I'm praying and pondering and am sure something will come to me before the end of the evening. 

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Sparklies:

1.  Have I mentioned how much I LOVE getting out to walk in the mornings?

I've been noting little signs of spring here and there.  There were some mallards in the water this morning, and I'm starting to see little pops of green grass along the trail.  Off in the woods, the moss is starting to turn this gorgeous shade of emerald.  The green is so very noticeable and startling in contrast to all the brown and grey.

2.  Georgie Porgey LOVES him some sunlight:

 I was standing up on the bridge looking down at him and he would slooooooowly stretch and shift position.  He truly loves the sun on his tummy.

3.  I took this Sunday night and just got it off my phone:

It was REALLY coming down out there.

4.  Jessie sent me this photo from New Orleans:

Does my sister know me or what??  ;o)  I would have begged her to get it for me except, 1. I don't need it and 2. it was $70!  Holy moly!

5.  I want to get to Ash Wednesday service tonight.  We'll see if I can make that happen. I have a wonderful tofu dish planned for this evening (stir fried with rice noodles) to complete our day of fasting and abstinence from meat, and I would love to be able to attend Mass afterward. And, no, that makes no sense whatsoever, written out.  It DOES however make sense in my head. :oP

No milestones.

We Had Snow!

 Well, we had snow.  There was snow when I awoke this morning.  And, there was snow last night. 

 However, the only snow remaining now is on the deck in the shade.  It has all disappeared.

 I'm glad today was a school holiday because otherwise Lil wouldn't have had an opportunity to go out and play and enjoy it. 

I sent her out as soon as she was finished with breakfast.  Beanie and Brien went with her. 

 She and B lobbed snowballs at one another, and Bean just tried to figure it all out.

It's hard to play in the snow when your mittens are too big.

Problem solved.

I had snow ski pants put away for Lil, and although they were a size four and too short, they did the trick keeping her dry.  I wish I could say the same for Ellie-roo. 

The boys are inside kitties.  I don't want them to go out--too many dangers (roaming tom cats and such).  They, however, don't seem to agree with this line of thinking and are constantly sitting at the backdoor if someone is outside. 

Figuring they wouldn't much care for the cold and wet, I let them out.  Fred ran back to the backdoor crying and begging to come in. 

George?  He couldn't wait to go bounding through the snow!  He rolled around in puddles and played with Holly.  I couldn't believe it.  :shakes head:

B took a quick pic of the boy's foot-paw-print as well.  Why not?

B and I have spent the day cleaning and decluttering.  He's making major progress in the offudio and I've cleaned bathrooms and the kitchen and done laundry and ironed and vacuumed. 

Cinder-Lily cleaned the kitchen floor (her request) and it looks fabulous. She's now working on her bedroom.  It's a cleaning and organizing sort of day.  Well, all except for Miss Bean who has steadily been undoing all our best efforts...

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Sparklies:

1.  Snow!!!!
2.  A day off from school so the snow could be enjoyed.  Otherwise, given the clear roads, there is no way there would have been a snow day.
3.  The snow lasted just long enough to be played in.  Now, the daffodils can continue to do their daffodilly thing without being frozen to death.
4.  Getting a grip on the house once more.
5.  Home an extra day with my family. :o)

Milestones:
I always miss my girl when we have snow.  I miss watching her move around from place to place tasting different patches.  She so loved the snow.  I know she would have had a blast out there with her sisters and the cat. 

Not Much Going On

I took advantage of the lovely weather yesterday and got in a 3.5 mile walk/jog.  It was close to 60 and beautiful.

This field of daffodils is going to be STUNNING in a couple more days.  I can't wait!

 And, these guys are actually showing their sunny faces.  It was so gorgeous yesterday Lil, Sadie and Alicia all played together for almost five hours--the majority of it spent outside playing in each backyard. :o)

I'm chuckling, though, because Mother Nature is once again being funny and we're to get somewhere from 1"-3" of snow this evening.  Go figure. ;o)  I'm not holding my breath on that amount of snow, but I'll be thrilled if it comes to fruition.

Of course, it would come when we have a holiday, so no snow day for Miss Bit.  Oh well. Snow is snow is snow, after all. :o)

 While Lil played with her friends, B, Beanie and I ran a couple errands.  When we got to Martin's, there was the Wienermobile!

Crazy!  I have NO idea why it was there, but it was.  Ellie enjoyed it, I scored a wienie whistle for Lil and a sticker for Bean.  :o)

Tomorrow is a day off for the family--always a fun time.  We were hoping to go to the VLM tomorrow, but I do believe we may be staying home to play in the snow instead. :fingers crossed:

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Weekend Sparklies:

1.  Dinner last night with Mom and Dad.  We've not done a meal with them in a while and I've missed it.
2.  Lunch with them again today. :o)  It's so good to eat with them and catch up.
3.  B and I only recently discovered "Big Bang Theory" (yes, yes, we'd heard all sorts of fabulous stuff and should have and just never did--DOH!) and have spent the past two days watching season one.  Ah, good stuff.  :o)
4.  Making a couple more wreaths to give away.
5.  A snuggly day inside with my family.  Sometimes we need those. 

No milestones.

The Tooth Fairy is Going Broke and Other Happenings

Honestly, I have no idea how the child can eat anything--she has no teeth left!  Last night the bottom one there (or not there any longer) was really bothering her so she started wiggling and waggling, and out it popped! 

 Meanwhile, I'm being all crafty again.  I found this on the board of pins and decided that I must have one.

 Dani needed to go to Joann Fabric this morning and I was more than happy to go so I could look for necessary supplies: Fun Fur yarn, a spool of flower ribbons, a foam form (gonna get that from Lowe's next time--MUCH cheaper), and pink pearlized straight pins.

I think eyelash yarn is loads of fun, but worried it would all be matted down under each progressive wrap.

 Luckily, that didn't happen. :o)

It was fast going, and I had it finished in about an hour.  It took another five minutes to cut the flowers and pin them on.

*****ETA 2/18/12*****
For those interested, here are my materials:
*3 skeins fun fur (I only used about two but had the third just in case)
*1 spool flower ribbon (as in flowers that are connected into a ribbon)
*1 10"-12" foam wreath form
*1 box pearlized pink straight pins

 I added a bit of ribbon to hang it and voila! it's finished! :o)  It's pretty darn cute and I'm feeling all pleased with myself once again. ;o)

And, just to finish things up, here are some photos from the past couple of days.  Ellie the glamour girl.

 My Bitty still LOOOOOVES to watercolor.  Ellie is learning (and still coloring herself--argh!) and seemed to enjoy it.

 I was letting Holly's dog bed dry on top of the dryer.  I glanced in the laundry room and thought it looked odd.

 Upon closer inspection, I figured out why.  :oP  Silly kitty!  (Georgie, for those wondering.)

And, finally, this dratted tree is once again holding on to all it's leaves.  I just wish they would all fall down so I could finish cleaning up the backyard.  Gr.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!  Anyone have anything fun planned? :o)

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Prayers for my neighbor who lost his wife this week.  My heart is so heavy and hurting for him right now.  They were married over 60 years.  :o(