She doesn't need me.
This is what we as parents strive for, of course. And yet, there's something so bittersweet in this independence that comes so suddenly.
She never has wanted to be a baby. She was constantly striving and straining and doing so she could be big--from the time she was four months old and began crawling.
I knew she would be my last, and I did all I could to savor those precious moments that were far too fleeting. And, she wanted no part of it. She is a big girl. Just ask her. I was cradling her last night in my lap saying she was my sweet baby and she very adamantly assured me she is not a baby that she is a BIG GIRL. Alrighty then.
She has very definite opinions and ideas about how things should be, and at the same time, she's so helpful. If I ask her to come help me, she comes running with a smile on her face saying, "Here I am!"
As I have shared, she is very efficient at destroying her bedroom when she should be napping. We have gotten into the routine of cleaning up her room after nap before we go downstairs. Yesterday she looked at me and asked, "Is it clean enough?" before we headed down.
She helps put away the silverware, set the table and clear the table. She'll "help" me dust. She loves to throw down the laundry and help put it in the washer and move it from the washer to the dryer and then to the laundry basket when dried.
She's spunky and busy and willful, and will melt into a pile of unhappiness on the floor only to recover within a moment--there's too much to do to spend any more time just lying there. When she starts having a meltdown, I'll calmly say to her, "Listen..." and she'll stop, looking at me with sad, tear-drenched eyes and hear what I have to say.
She has an incredible receptive language vocabulary and knows what she wants to say but often just doesn't have the expressive language to do so. For example, every evening at dinner I have Brien and Lil share three good things from their day. Around December, Ellie wanted in on the action and said, "What was good about my day?" so we began including her. Her response is always the same, "I stay on purple!" even though she most likely has no idea what that even means outside of the fact purple is her favorite color.
However, at dinner last night, she said, "I helped Lily get her milk." Huh? Then Brien realized she was saying she had reminded him Lily needed milk with dinner. She's growing and changing and wanting so much to be a big girl in the family.
Every night I check on the girls before I go to bed--I just have to. Last night I discovered she had changed her pajamas because she had so desperately wanted to wear her Tinkerbell pj's. She had pulled the shirt on the right way, the pants were right and she had even changed her pull-up. See, she doesn't need me.
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As a random aside, I want to remember these two things so here they are. As they were driving down the street towards home on Sunday, Ellie said to Brien, "I miss Hannah." Then, yesterday as we were driving home, having our own little conversation, she said to me, "It makes my back scared."
Now, the significance of that statement is that is something Hannah said all the time, and I don't know that Brien and I have ever used it with her. She will say things some days that just leave me wondering...
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Sparklies:
1. Miss 'Punzel and her pincesseses dresses. She loves to wear them--especially the 'Punzel one--all the time. No really. All. The. Time.
2. I got in a great walk with Tami yesterday. :o)
3. Rain. Lots of rain. Sometimes that's just a good thing.
4. In spite of her growing independence Miss Bean still looooooooves to snuggle and do nosey-nosey with me. She was putting one of her babies to bed and softly sang "Soft Kitty" to it, the way we do when it's time for her to go to bed. Isn't it funny how you can hear yourself through your children?
5. Speaking of snugglers, Miss Bit has wanted snuggles quite a bit of late as well. So, she'll climb right on in and we'll rock and sing her bedtime song. :o)
6. I found Baby Apple sitting on Baby Stella's potty yesterday. Now if I can just get Beanie to use the potty we're all set...
7. Nail polish remover...that's all I'm sayin'. This has nothing to do with Miss Independent climbing up and getting into things she shouldn't. Not at all...
No milestones.
Unless you count Beanie channeling Hannah, then maybe...
9 comments:
You have wonderful girls. All of them.
It made me giggle. She has never wanted help. Even when moving from the womb, I'm sure that she was in there yelling, "I don't need help!"
Bless her big girl heart!
What a girl! She has such a wonderful personality! You can see both of her sisters in her sweet little face. I really believe that Han is close, and influences your entire family.
My friends mother died when some of her children were very young. It was always interesting to see her mother influence her children from the other side. It was so evident that she had an active role in raising them. I know Han has an active role in your family too! :)
I remember after Hannah passed you sharing an incident where Lily seemed to "see" Hannah in the car with you. I think little kids are better able to see and sense things adults can't, and that Hannah's been around all of you, all this time. Maybe now that Ellie is growing up she's not as able to see her sister, and that's why she expressed missing her.
Anon,
I totally think that's what's going on. She's growing up and losing that ability to "see".
Jori, spot on.
Amy, yeah, you're right. That child...oy.
Korinthia, Thank you!
She is wonderful. Spunky, feisty, lovely. xo
Speaking of costumes, Thomas was SO into his costumes until he hit about 5. He had every super hero costume available, and we actually had two Buzz Lightyear (Buzz Nitnar) costumes as Buzz was in high rotation! Charlotte loved the fairy and princess costumes but it was Thomas who I will always remember as being the costume King!
xox
What beautiful photos of Ellie...quite stunning young ladies you have in your family!
Maybe Ellie's always been able to be so independent because she's had Hannah there to help her out. :)
And as an aside, these Captcha images make me laugh...my last one was tiGuiexp...seriously?? (And I got it right on the first try, thank you very much!!) I think I'd have more chance with them if I *were* a computer, lol!! :o)
I am laughing over here. This is the difference with boys and girls. My son is Lil's age, (turned 7 in January) and he is content having us do everything for him. Maybe it's just his personality, but I think it's a boy thing. I am sure this will pass, but it's very frustrating!
BTW, your girls are beautiful!
Pam
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