Thursday, September 05, 2013
She's going to drive both her teacher and me batty this year as we struggle to get her to focus on completing her work in the time allotted. She's going to delight her teacher with her kindness and warmth and love of random knowledge (just like her mama and daddy).
I never got to see her soft baby face grow and mature. I never got to see her hands grow ever bigger. She's, as I've said so often, eternally five. And, yes, while I'm grateful she won't have to bear the burden of a broken heart (as it surely would have been many times over she was such a sensitive little soul), at times I long to see what she would look like as a second grader or *gulp* middle schooler. She was such a beautiful child (I'm biased, I know), I can't help but feel ripped off I didn't get to see her go through that miserable big kid awkward stage and then grow into a beautiful 'tween, for surely she would be. Knowing the child she was, she'd have been beautiful both inside and out.
Of course, she'd have been driving me crazy--utterly around the bend, in fact--as she was just like her little sister Lily, a piddly thing who did things at her own pace in her own time. GAH!!
This time of year is always hard. It's a time of new beginnings and I have one less little chick to have those new beginnings with. It's hard. It's still hard. In some ways it's easier with the passing of time, but in others, it's harder. I have passed a crucial point--I have now spent more time without my Monkey than I had with her. And, you know, I'm just not sure how I feel about that.
I'm so busy chasing after busy Beans I just don't have the time to sit and reflect as I normally would. I haven't had a chance to check in to see what condition my condition is in (I'm so sorry for that awful ear worm!). I was a grumpy gus today and I knew it. I was even texting with Dani about it. I told her to just call me "Sir Grumpalot". She told me it would have to be "Lady Grumpalot" or "Duchess Grumpalot" which had me chuckling. I spent the rest of the day as "Her Grace, The Duchess Grumpalot". ;o)
At any rate, reflecting on the grumpiness, I think it's because I've not been as attentive to my needs these past few days. I've been busy getting Miss Bit off to school and getting her settled in--she's my child through and through and change is very hard for her--and chasing after and cleaning up with Miss Bean and the evenings have been so hectic as we've tried to settle into our routine that I simply haven't had a chance to just be and reflect. :sigh:
Maybe I'll find some time to do so this weekend.
1. The tomato harvest from Wednesday:
2. Lunch today:
3. I found a relic of times past at CW yesterday:
4. My girls with their sweet dispositions even when I'm a grumpy bear.
5. A good first week of school (so far!).
No milestones other than what I've written up there.